Peeping Pt. 2: Peepers Beware

Whether or not you’re aware of it, the likelihood that a complete stranger has has visual access to the lower undergarment your girlfriend, sister, friend, mother, or even daughter is very high. If these females wear skirts, it is even higher. If they have worn a skirt while visiting New York’s Union Square, it’s almost a certainty. Peepers are on a panty-prowl all over the world, yes, but thanks to the tireless efforts of Normal Bob Smith, the self-appointed sentinel of Union Square, these perverted men face embarrassment, exposure, and ridicule. On his Union Square-focused website, Normal Bob Smith’s Amazing Strangers, our hero has, as previously reported by Mr. Pink’s, documented the activities and methodologies of these Peepers in an effort to enlighten and empower skirt-wearing women of New York and, indeed, of the entire world. The most illustrative of Smith’s documents is a series of video works entitled “Methods of a Peeper.” With six installments already online (and hopefully more to come), Smith goes into incredible detail narrating this own footage of Peepers in action. After exposing the “Tandem Style Passenger Window”, “Portrait”, and “Front Row” Peeping methods, Smith and his camera have unearthed actual footage of the most dangerous of all Peeping methods, Picture Peeping.

Armed with an everyday digital camera, the Picture Peeper doesn’t just hope to catch himself a glimpse of a stranger’s panties, he hopes to document it for later viewing and perhaps even distribution. We’ve all seen websites purporting to host galleries and movies of surreptitiously snapped upskirt or down-blouse images, but I, for one, usually assume they were taken with the permission and cooperation of the subject. Methods of a Peeper 6: Picture Peeping now has me convinced otherwise. With his camera trained on a pot-bellied aging Peeper, Smith points out various peeping techniques – dangling a camera from the wrist, pretending to calculate numbers while holding said camera, holding the camera low and steady while taking long, extended videos et. al. – all of which allow the Peeper to store his images for a lonely Saturday evening or for sharing with friends. With the unwelcome online distribution of intimate photos as hot a topic as ever, the lessons to be gleaned from Smith’s public service videos are so vital they perhaps should be shown in schools, YWCAs, and self-defense classes around the country.

Like Spider-Man and Travis Bickle before him, though, Normal Bob Smith and his selfless attempts to preserve the sanctity of his beloved New York will likely go unnoticed, misunderstood, and under-appreciated. Mr. Pink, for one, isn’t afraid to applaud his heroic efforts, efforts that have brought him face-to-face with the sleaziest men of The Big Apple, resulted in plenty of hate mail, and no doubt placed his own safety in great jeopardy.

Normal Bob Smith, you are a true patriot and for you valiant efforts to protect the sanctity of what lies between the legs of the women of New York, Mr. Pink salutes you, sir.

Bree Olson Retires From Porn, Not Controversy

After the media shit-storm that surrounded Charlie Sheen’s now legendary 36-hour alcohol and drug binge back in January, the pornstars that accompanied him, Kacey Jordan, Melanie Rios, and Bree Olson, ducked and weaved the attention of some media outlets while aggressively courting others. When Gigi Rivera, another pornstar involved with Sheen, quietly retired from adult entertainment, no one could blame her; the 19-year-old had barely dipped her toe into porn before it all came crumbling down around her. One retirement nobody really saw coming was that of Bree Olson, whose decision to quite fucking on film Mr. Pink’s only just heard about. Telling a TMZ cameraman that she’s leaving porn for good in an effort to rebrand herself as a serious actress, Olson is actively pursuing acting lessons and apparently hopes to follow in the footsteps of another controversial ex-pornstar, Sasha Grey.

Can it really be true, though? Can the self-appointed “World’s Biggest Whore” really give up getting blasted with cum for a living? After all, if the following choice excerpts from Ms. Olson’s Twitter are anything to go by, she’ll probably just end up blowing everyone in her any auditions she’s lucky enough to land. Hey, wait… That sounds like the way most “actresses” make it in tinsel town!
 

Wish I was a cheap $20 hooker laying in this bed and one guy after another would come in this room and cum inside me while I just lay here.Thu Feb 17 23:54:50 via Echofon

 

 

I’m so horny! I got him off but I still need to get off! Maybe I should go to one of these truck stops and let all the men cum in me.Fri Apr 02 19:57:58 via Twitter for iPhone

 

 

Got so drunk. Mexican took me on these trash bags fucked me. Left me laying there then about 10 of his friends came and fucked me too.Sat Jan 15 21:52:05 via Echofon

An Adult Acrostic Thanksgiving

T is for Turkey, the family after eating does nap
H, “If I Hurry I can squeeze in a fap!”
A is for Anal, a scene smoking and raw
N is for a Naughty America whore
K gives me Kagney, and Kayden, and Keyes
S is for Semen, with coaxing I’ll squeeze
G is for Gonads, soon emptied of seed
I is for Instant, like this video feed
V for Vainlla, too softcore for this bro
I says “It’s Struggling, It’s struggling to load.”
N shouts “No, you ol’ shitbox, you must stay alive!”
and with
G I Give thanks for my external hard drive

– Anonymous.

Peep the Peepers

PeepersFolks, I wanna tell you a story about an American hero, a man who has put himself on the line time and time again to alert the women of New York, Union Square specifically, that they are under constant threat from discreetly salivating men who have developed voyeurism from a compulsive disorder to a fine craft. Our hero, Normal Bob Smith, who appears to be a cartoonist and designer, has been documenting the various denizens of Union Square for some time. Aside from the predictable presence of Skaters, Scenesters (a.k.a.: Hipsters), Junkies, a Free Hugs guy, and Bums, Mr. Smith has chronicled the activities of men he calls “Peepers”. Whether acting alone or aiding each other in clandestine groups, Peepers are men who hang around and wait for skirt-wearing women to take a seat on the steps of the Square. Thanks to the high likelihood that their sitting position will provide a line of sight that leads directly to their lower undergarments, these Peepers avail themselves of a salacious free show while the performer, as it were, remains blissfully unaware and continues to chat with a friend, attempt a new Angry Birds high score, or sip on a decaf mocha. Enter Normal Bob Smith, the ever vigilant sentinel of women’s virtue.

On his Amazing Strangers website, Smith has provided readers and potential victims with a graphic guide to the behavior of the common Union Square Peeper. In detailing their usual locations, strategies, and numerous methods used to avoid detection, Smith has not only provided a valuable public service to the women of New York City, he has managed to coin a handful of choice terms in the process. “The Peep,” he tells, “is the actual trail of Peeper’s peeping up the skirt to the panties.” The invisible path projecting from the skirt or The Peep sitting on the steps is called a “Live Zone.” The most fascinating element of Peeper methodology – and, if you were to ask a Peeper, the most difficult to perfect – is what Smith has dubbed “The MACMA: Make-believe Acting Casually Milling About.” MACMAs include such apparently everyday tasks as talking on the phone, reading a map, taking in the surroundings, and taking vacation snaps; or at least appearing to. Peepers, you see, merely pretend to perform these innocent activities as a cover for their peeping, leaving their victims unsuspecting and unaware that their panties are providing anywhere from one to six, sometimes even seven men (depending on the Live Zone and the cooperation between Peepers) with material to augment their continual games of Pocket Pool; that is, the discreet fondling of one’s own testicles (and possibly penis) via trouser pockets.

You might think Normal Bob Smith something of a hero, but, folks, you don’t know the half of it! Stick around as Mr. Pink reveals Smith’s own covert Peeper-peeping techniques and catches the most dastardly Peeper of all, the Picture Peeper.

One Dick, Two Dick, White Dick, Black Dick – Sasha Grey Reads

Sasha Grey“There once was a dog named Hally, who lived with the Tosis family. Hally Tosis was very¬† good dog, but she had a big problem. Hally Tosis had horrible breath. Whenever Hally Tosis opened her mouth, horrible things happened.” This excerpt from Dog Breath by Dav Pilkey doesn’t just tell the story of a stinky-mouthed pup, it also tells the story of pornstar Sasha Grey. No stranger to controversy – this is, after all, the woman who, in her first hardcore scene, requested a mid-coital punch to the stomach – Ms. Grey last week landed herself in rather hot water by giving a performance of a notably different kind: reading to the students at Emerson Elementary in Compton. Parents who learned of Ms. Grey’s porn past complained to the Emerson PTA, who subsequently contacted the principal. After a school spokesperson flatly denied that Ms. Grey was even present at the reading, photos surfaced online at TMZ showing the tastefully dressed multiple AVN Award winner reading Dog Breath to a floor full of students. Sprung!

Amidst the chaos that followed these revelations, both in the Emerson and greater Los Angeles school communities, on tabloid media sites, and across the pornosphere, were indignant calls for Grey to withdraw from the reading program. Apparently unwilling to do so, Grey insists that porn is her past and that she is now focusing her attention not on double-penetrations and blowbangs, but on solidifying her career as an author (Neu Sex), musician (aTelecine), and mainstream actress (Entourage). She seems intent on fashioning herself as a provocative, intellectual, pseudo-feminist artiste. Who but a serious intellectual could fashion a modest and humble response to the Read Across America debacle containing such ready-made pull quotes as “I am an actor. I am an artist. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a partner,” and “I have a past that some people may not agree with, but it does not define who I am. I will not live in fear of it. To challenge non-profit education programs is an exercise in futility, counter-productive and anti-educational.”

You go, grrrl.