Choosey With Her Cherry

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink;

I’m a 30 year old male, dating a woman 27 years old. We’ve been seeing one another for nearly a year, things are serious between us, but not to “that” point of either of us discussing a commitment yet. She is a great lady, funny, independent, intelligent, kind, and…..still a virgin. She apparently promised herself when a teenager that she wouldn’t have intercourse until she gets married. I respect her discretion, but at the same time, I am trying hard to be faithful, however, the cold showers and late night masturbation sessions are getting a bit tiresome. I don’t want to break up with her, but I do want to be in her!

Choosey With Her Cherry

Dear Choosey;

First of all, I want to give kudos to your female friend for sticking to her morals and self induced promises. Even in your swollen testicle state of mind, I’m sure you respect her for keeping herself pure, and you realize this wasn’t an easy choice for her to make and I’m sure very difficult to stick to.

The fact you’ve hung in there for this long tells me you do indeed care about her as a person, and I’m sure she is very appreciative of that fact as well. Saying this tongue in cheek of course, many men prefer to marry a virgin, there’s less criticism involved. *Smile*

Being a woman myself, I can understand the thought process, after all, your virginity is something that can only be given once, and there are a million stories in the naked city of females that regret the way their “first time” played out, and your girlfriend doesn’t want to make that a million and one stories.

You didn’t say how far things have gone between the two of you, but, allow me to interject this thought. Don’t push her, she’s made up her mind and kept her legs crossed for a reason. You’ve offered nice adjectives to describe her, telling me you’ve seen her qualities other than the sexual ones and that has kept you rounding the bases for nearly a year before having all your balls in a scoring position. You can be intimate without intercourse, and for a woman, it’s the foreplay and the romance that makes the act special. Don’t go into it with the hopes that you’ll bring those embers into a full-fledge inferno, to a point where she won’t turn back, she’ll just regret the act and hold it against you in the end.

Let her know you respect her wishes, and also let her know you’re very physically attracted to her, and you’re in no rush to plunge through her hymen for the sake of putting a notch in your head-board. You can each achieve orgasm without penetration, through mutual masturbation, and oral sex, keeping her cherry intact and also the box it came in. Be close, be satisfying, but, also be the man you seem to be, patient and understanding. Who knows, maybe you will walk down the aisle, and when it’s time for the honeymoon, you’ll know you’re going where no man has gone before. Build your friendship, the strongest foundation, and let the budding happen in areas besides just within your blue jeans. Treat her like a lady, even the most proper ones will enjoy the wetness you can create by a soft touch or the right oral approach to those delicate pink folds.

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Bold, Busty, and Free!

Now that we’ve all had time to digest our barbecue and lose our hangovers, we, the Americans can look back on another day of national celebration with pride. Fourth of July, Independence Day 2012 was another in a long line of fun and freedom-filled parties across the nation. Here’s a few happenings that reminded us of what makes our great nation great and what freedom has enabled Americans to achieve.

Miley Cyrus tweeted this flirty photo of herself decked out in celebratory red, white, and blue garb:

Miley CyrusPlayboy magnate Hugh Hefner also took to Twitter and showed his followers what it’s like to celebrate the 4th in true “American Dream” style. Hef’s pictured here with ex-fiancee and reignited flame Crystal Harris enjoying a game of backgammon at the Playboy Mansion:

Hugh Hefner

San Diegans saw their fireworks display end rather abruptly as soon as it began when the entire cache of explosives blew at the same time, turning what would have been a 17-minute display into 15 short, awe-inspiring seconds of ka-boom:

San Diego fireworks

But it was over at Naughty America that the most dazzling display of national pride occurred, with Lisa Ann, Jessica Jaymes, and Nicole Aniston wearing their stars and stripes loudly and proudly in support of the country that has welcomed them (and their fantastic racks) into a $13 billion dollar industry that’s all about freedom, making them superstars just for doing what comes naturally and freely expressing their sexualities.

Naughty America

Ah, America! You’re so great!

Officially Sanctioned Spider-Porn?

Some of you no doubt know him as either The Amazing Spider-Man or yet another R-Patz clone, but Andrew Garfield has never really sparked a dot on Mr. Pink’s radar… until now. After briefly discussing porn names with journalist Matt Patches of Hollywood.com, Garfield admitted to watching Axel Braun’s recent web-slinging sex-fest, Spiderman XXX: A Porn Parody for “inspiration.” Yeah, whatever, A-Garf, like you didn’t shoot some webs of your own while ogling Brooklyn Lee’s Mary-Jane, a character who didn’t even make it into his relaunch flick.

“You can find inspiration anywhere when it comes to this character because ’cause it’s everyone’s; it belongs to everyone, porn actors, you know…” Garfield explained while continually fondling his own chin in a remarkable display of self-pleasure before following Patches’s lead into more family-friendly areas of discussion. Hey, these two instant pals can ignore the issue all they want, but if the dude playing Spider-Man is openly admitting to gleaning acting inspiration from porn, that sets a monumental precedent. Robert Downey Jr. has a long history of decadence so maybe the next Avengers movie will feature Downey’s Iron Man utilizing some less violent technological wizardry, perhaps to bed Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow. Who knows, maybe the next movie will see my favorite female Avenger, Ms. Marvel, added to the cast and perhaps played by Battlestar Galactica’s Tricia Helfer. Throw in the ferocious humanoid-feline Tigra (Michelle Rodriguez or Eva Mendes anyone?) and you’ve got a pretty damn intense level of sexual tension running around the big 3D-outfitted cinema come Avengers 2.

So, Joss Whedon, allow me to introduce you to a little flick called The Avengers XXX: A Porn Parody.