November, 2012 | Mr. Pink's Blog

The Other Woman – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pink;

I’m a 34 yr old woman. I’ve been seeing a guy from my office for 6 months, it started as just friendship and drinks, pizza, after work to now having sex for the past 3 weeks. He excites me on every level. My problem is, I didn’t know our relationship was suppose to be a secret, and was told he lives with another woman. I questioned him, he confessed but said he really needs me and wants me to stay with him, while he stays with her. Am I stupid or just in love?

The Other Woman

Dear Other Woman;

Unfortunately, the dilemma you’re faced with has been one experienced by many of others in the past, present and will be in the future. The heart can’t draw imaginary lines in the sand, it has to rely on the power of the mind for good judgment, and also the scruples of those we tend to offer our affection to, and it sounds like both of those attributes have let you down.

There was a line I heard in a movie one time, and, I always thought in a few words, it summed up what a relationship is suppose to be, and that is; “You make me want to be a better person.” It doesn’t sound to me like this relationship is turning you into a woman you can look in the mirror each morning and sleep without a guilty conscience with at night. How much are we to give to someone else before we lose sight of who we are? It seems to me, you’ve been giving, he’s been taking, and the one losing the most is his girlfriend waiting at home in the evenings, a meat loaf drying out in the oven, and candles that have burned down to but a clump of wax.

The first person you need to take care of is yourself, you need to keep in mind, he’s climbing out of your bed and back into the one they share, and no bed is large enough for three people…well, unless you’re going for a physical threesome of sex, then you can certainly make it work! But, seriously, I’m sure you have shed many tears over this situation and don’t you deserve a man that doesn’t make you cry? One that is all yours, to focus not only on a friendship but the intimacy of sexual pleasure as well, which when combined, will be everything you’ve hoped for.

Don’t just settle. You may feel you need him, he may excite you in many different ways, but when the door closes behind him, and you’re left with the crumpled sheets underneath you, how cold does that really make your night? Don’t share him with anyone, break things off in a friendly manner, wish him well, and maybe think positive thoughts for his girlfriend. Don’t just be, “the other woman,” be THE woman!

It’s not love, it’s lust. Show him the door and then buy yourself a new vibrator, you can still feel the completion, but not have to shave your legs for it!

Think You’re Kinky Enough?

Those groundbreaking, genre-defying, taboo-busting perverts at Kink.com are at it again, and this time they’re letting you partake in the fun and games! Offering fans the chance to conjure up the most sordid scenario then see it come to life as a Kink production, the acclaimed San Francisco-based fetish company wants to know what their fans want to see featured on the site and are calling for script submissions, up to ten of which may be produced and made available for all to see on one of Kink’s numerous BDSM sites.

If you’re considering entering the content, which will see winners receive screen credit, website access, and in one winner’s case, a $2,000 cash prize, you’ll have to adhere to Kink’s strict guidelines and rules of conduct that ensure the safety, physical and psychological, of their performers, but unless you were thinking of some really sexually bizarre shit, you’ll be fine. Winners will be chosen by a panel of Kink directors, who’ll be looking for creativity and originality, as well as shooting viability, so get writing, you fiends!

And if you find yourself needing a little inspiration or a rundown of Kink’s operations, there’s no better place to find them than in our recent feature article that saw Mr. Pink’s romp through Kink’s headquarters at the San Francisco Armory.

Attell Back with More Old Porn

No comedian has made more blatant his love of sexual deviancy than Dave Attell. The two-time AVN Awards host hasn’t just hobnobbed with porn’s best and brightest, he’s already figured out a way to watch porn professionally. With one well received season already in the can and a second premiering this past week, Showtime’s couch-bound comedy show Dave’s Old Porn sees the standup inviting guests to sit with him and watch vintage pornographic movies from the days of Super8, VHS, and Betamax. While not the most interesting concept on paper, in practice the show’s a riot that blends Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary with interviews that, thanks to guests like Kathy Griffin, Joe Rogan, Chelsea Handler, Marc Maron, and porn stars both active and retired, Ginger Lynn, Joanna Angel, Nina Hartley, Tom Byron, and Ron Jeremy, are as riotous as they are revealing.

Talking to Men’s Health on the eve of the show’s second season premiere, Attell revealed that the idea for Dave’s Old Porn came after “four years of drinking and walking around in the rain” on his Comedy Central show Insomniac, when he decided his next TV gig should omit heavy weather and include, preferably, “a lot of porn.” While cum-showers are definitely on the cards, most of the golden age goodies Attell and his guests watch and riff on are precipitate-free, leaving commentators to focus, not surprisingly, on the differences between vintage porn and the contemporary adult entertainment scene.

Calling today’s porn “super hardcore… it looks more like an MMA fight”, Attell asserts that, although we may make fun of them now, the more character-driven porno narratives of yore had viewers finding themselves actually caring about the people doing the fucking. “You really fall in love with the girls, and the guys were like chameleons. Ron Jeremy was a flight attendant, a plumber, a secret agent… the range of that guy! Robert DeNiro cannot do what Ron Jeremy does.” And, more importantly, few people want to see him try.

Dave’s Old Porn continues its second season Thursday at 11pm ET on Showtime.

EPISODE 201 Teaser 1 from GigglechickInteractive on Vimeo.

The Force is Strong with Axel Braun

With The Walt Disney Company having just purchased Lucasfilm and all its properties and holdings from chairman, founder, and sole owner, Star Wars creator George Lucas, you might assume porn parodies of Lucasfilm properties have been put on the back burner until the intended parodists can gauge what Disney’s reaction to seeing their latest intellectual property acquisitions dishing out blowjobs and being primed for anal penetration might be. Porn parody master Axel Braun, however, waits for no mouse.

Riding the wave of Star Wars-related news with their own announcement that pre-production on sequels to existing the Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody has already begun, Braun and Vivid Entertainment now hope to have the next parody out by this time next year. “We expect adult movie fans will continue to have an interest in our adult Star Wars parody movies, so we’ve decided to add a third parody film to the two we already have in pre-production,” Braun told AVN., cementing the fourth Star Wars parody and lighting the fires of anticipation in many a fanboy’s loins.

Braun’s first Lucas-unaffiliated effort has been the breakout porn parody success of recent years and even had pop culture site Die Screaming praising the feature for “managing to keep true to the look and feel of the original source material, while injecting a healthy amount of tongue-in-cheek humor,” and praising both the “amazing” graphics and the “dead-on” casting.

If you still haven’t seen Braun’s original Star Wars parody, maybe this SFW trailer will convince you to seek it out. But don’t be alarmed: that sensation you feel rising from just below your guts and urging you to stroke your lightsaber… that’s the force.