Vivid’s Survey Says… Pt. 1

Vivid XCriticFor the past few months, porn’s most well-known studio, Vivid Entertainment has been joining forces with XCritic to conduct a comprehensive survey of porn viewers, their habits, their preferences, and their opinions about the numerous factors that define how porn is produced, for whom, and for what specific purpose. Does anyone still watch DVDs? Are MMF threesomes more popular than FFM threesomes? Would home viewers perform in an adult feature if it didn’t require sex? What if it did?

XCritic has been slowly releasing the results of the polls and some of the answers have been quite surprising.

– More than 1/3rd of respondents still watch retail DVDs over online, digitally distributed content.
– Despite the continued rise of gonzo, a feature production is still the most watched porn format.
– Although double-penetration scenes have become more commonplace over the past few years, most guys still prefer two girls and one guy in threesome scenes.
– More than half of respondents claim to be always aroused when viewing porn, meaning blood is flowing away from other areas of the body to keep an erection, possibly to the detriment of logical and critical faculties; hence: your regrettable Coke bottle “accident”.
– Most respondents believe the amalgamation of Internet and television will result in more porn viewing.
– Lindsay Lohan is the celeb most desired to be seen fucking in a sex tape, low-res cell-phone footage or not.
– The most popular porn categories were anal and girl-girl, apparently by a huge margin.
– Almost half the men responding would take a non-sexual role in an adult production, while nearly 40% would say yes to a sexual role!
– And, perhaps most surprisingly of all, more than 73% of respondents do not hide their porn viewing, with more than a third enjoying porn with a significant other.

Vivid and XCritic are continuing their polling, so keep your eyes peeled on Mr. Pink’s for more results as they roll in.

The Couple That Shoots Porn Together…

LeWoodAfter the September release of their Anal Hazing Crew feature confirmed their strong association with Evil Angel and Gamma Entertainment, performers, directors, and spouses Mark Wood and Francesca Le now celebrate another milestone in their rapidly ascending careers: their very own website.

LeWood is now online and takes a multi-handed approach to hardcore, featuring work directed by and often starring either Francesca Le, Mark Wood, or both. Focusing on hard lesbian scenes, anal sex, MILF-fucking, and plenty more, LeWood’s vignette-style DVD releases and their digitally distributed equivalents are a perfect fit for Evil Angel’s growing ranks of master directors. “After many years, we finally have another way to reach our fans,” Wood said, his wife adding that the site would be an intimate, if not exactly comforting, look inside their sex lives professional and otherwise. “Everybody will get to see all the naughty stuff that goes on behind closed doors at Casa de LeWood. We look forward to bringing you even filthier content from the freakiest real-life couple in porn.”

She’s not wrong there, folks! Few porn couples have lasted as long as LeWood or have had as substantial success as a unit, with only Audrey Hollander and Otto Bauer as genuine competition. Tera Patrick and Evan “Spyder Jonez” Seinfeld managed to keep their professional relationship going long after their personal one ended in divorce, Kobe Tai and Mark Davis’s marriage didn’t survive the often tumultuous porn life, and after divorcing, Nacho Vidal and Belladonna kept their professional work separate, too. LeWood, however, seems to be going from strength to strength, even using a Brangelina, Kimye-style portmanteu as their professional name, the ultimate sign of celebrity relationship stability!

LeWood is now online and updating daily. Look for a full porn review coming soon from Mr. Pink’s!

Lupe Fuentes and The Ex-Girlfriends

The Ex-GirlfriendsIf you’re a reasonably attractive young woman that fucks on camera for a living, your career possibilities aren’t as limited as you might think. Amia Miley stopped shooting porn, attached herself to a second-tier Jersey Shore pseudo-celebrity, and relaunched herself as a sexually suggestive yet SFW YouTube personality. (See her dusting the contents of a refrigerator in her underwear here.) Bree Olsen, also retired, recently used viral video marketing to bring attention to causes both just (Kony 2012) and ridiculous (her Hollywood Douchebag music video), but still teeters on the brink of the widespread notoriety she apparently desires. Now, another porn starlet is relying on viral video marketing to launch the next stage of her career, this time as a singer, dancer, and all-round hitmaker. The woman in question? “Little” Lupe Fuentes.

Catching a tweet from Evan Seinfeld, Fuentes’ manager and better half, earlier this week, I was aggressively advised to check out a video by an upstart A-pop group – as in J-pop, K-pop, M-pop etc – spearheaded by Fuentes, who appears onscreen in the opening shots of We Are the Party! with bedazzled pink lips, gyrating next to a bunny-headed mascot curiously dubbed “Herewego”. Rife with glitchy Auto-Tune-“enhanced” vocals and a four-on-the-floor dance beat, We Are the Party! seems to be translating the recent wave of international pop hits from the likes of Psy and 2NE1 into a culturally diverse American melange dubbed The Ex-Girlfriends. Joining the Colombia-born Fuentes (under the stage name Lulu Angel) is German-Native American Smash, Japanese-Brazilian Baby J, “black” and French Dee-Love, and Filipino T-Money, creating a far more racially diverse mix than most pop groups upstart or otherwise – just with a pornographic past.

Fuentes, though she professes to be embracing the idea of working in a group based on “true friendship, about supporting each other…like a bunch of girls who had each other’s backs no matter what”, is clearly the star of The Ex-Girlfriends show. (The band’s official bio mentions Lupe nearly twenty times by name, the others only once each.) If Seinfeld has a musical hand in his “little” protege’s latest career endeavor, he’s keeping his mouth shut about his contributions and instead just being as vocally supportive as any other husband; though perhaps he’s just being careful not to alienate fans of his “brutal, unrelenting” new band Attika 7.

The Ex-Girlfriends’ debut single, We Are the Party! is available now on iTunes. The video, which features plenty of salacious shots of the gorgeous (and tiny) Lupe, can be seen below.

Spice Up Your Solo Sex Life

British four-piece pop group, The Spice Girls might’ve seemed naff at their heyday in 1997, but no matter how well cultivated your musical tastes might have been, you still knew them by their nicknames and precocious “Girl Power” ideology. And now, thanks to Jordan Septo, the master of the musically-inclined porn parodies, you’ll get to see Sporty, Scary, Ginger, Posh, and Baby Spice in refashions the biggest-selling girl group of all time as wannabe (geddit?) pornstars.

Spice Girls XXX

Following on from the success of Saturday Night Fever XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody and OMG… It’s the Flashdance XXX Parody, Septo has shifted focus to more recent nostalgia acts with the rather predictably titled OMG… It’s the Spice Girls Parody. With ol’ reliable Evan Stone taking the paternal role of the Spice Girls’ manager, Simon Fuller, the rest of the cast have been plucked from all stratas of the adult industry and given the chance to fill the tallest platforms in porn history. As Scary Spice (Melanie Brown), ring-locked Misty Stone gleefully strides with a buoyant smile and leopard-print catsuit. One of porn’s signature redheads, Dani Jensen seems a fairly appropriate fit for Ginger Spice (Geri Halliwell), but doesn’t quite fill out her signature Union Jack dress well enough, if you ask me. Baby Spice (Emma Bunton) is played by an effervescent and effusively girly Jessie Rogers, who dons a candy colored dress and pigtails. As the future wife of footballer David Beckham, Allie Haze does her best Posh Spice (Victoria Adams) impersonation in, what else but a little black Gucci dress. The incredibly fit (in more ways than one) Dani Daniels, hot on the heels of her breakthrough feature role for Elegant Angel, tackles arguably the most difficult Spice Girl, Sporty (Melanie Chisolm), who, thanks to her trim, boyish figure was unfortunately labelled “the lesbo one”.

I don’t know about you fellas, but I’ve been ogling the Spice Girls for years ever since Say You’ll Be There, so I’ve no complaints about this particular parody. What, though, of the precedent Septo’s latest effort sets? Where do we go from here, porn parodies of other musical acts? An Abba parody would be loads of fun, as would a parody focusing on the legendary sexual exploits of some famous rock studs – Hendrix and Cynthia Plaster-Caster, Led Zep and a tuna, both the Glimmer and the Toxic Twins perhaps – but history dictates the end result will be something nobody wants to see: Nickelback porn.

(At least there’s already a fitting soundtrack.)