Something’s Brewing at Bang Bros

It doesn’t take a genius to realize something’s going on at Bang Bros. No, I’m not talking about the frequency with which Remy LaCroix seems to be shooting an anal scene for one of the network’s many, many sites. I’m talking about this…

somethingsbrewingatbangbros

Although they haven’t yet made an appearance on the Bang Bros update schedule, nor that of the Bros’ Spanish-language sister network Culioneros, the sites represented by these three images are surely to be launched in the near future. But what, pray tell, do these three new sites focus on? Something tells me Pornditos will be an irreverent (racially and otherwise) comedy porn venture that’ll sit next to Tetangas Espanolas, Chicas de Porno, and Sexo en Publico on the Culioneros network roster. Women Gone Bad is likely a femme domme site or another take on the hard-partying women that attend (and take over) all-nude, all-male dance revues. STFU College, however, could deal with anything from college girls giving ontense blowjobs to, well, the imagination runs wild, quite frankly.

However, click on these thumbnail links from the main Bang Bros/Culioneros navigation hub and you’re directed to Culioernos, Dancing Bear, and College Rules. This network and the two individual sites are all already in operation, but seem to have slipped from their past glories due to fewer updates and less activity. Could this image teaser indicate a bold new approach for three Bang Bros has-beens or just another lazy attempt at snagging more money off hungry viewers? Only time and Mr. Pink’s will tell for sure.

A Cleavage Identi-Kit

Boobs can be confusing and you don’t even need to see that much of them to find yourself bewildered beyond belief. If you fancy yourself something of a breast aficionado, though, put yourself to the test and name for me the following four styles of revealing boob-dressing.

Boobs

If you answered 1. Cleavage, 2. Innerboob, 3. Sideboob, and 4. Underboob, you’re either an expert on female decolletage, wherever it falls, or an avid reader of pseudo-feminist popculture blog Jezebel. In an article entitled “Beyond Cleavage: The Golden Age of Innerboob, Sideboob, & Underboob” writer Katie Dries defines the above terms for today’s modern woman. (Well, and for us dudes who totally didn’t know these terms before their girlfriends or anything…)

Jezebel attempts to categorize all kinds of exposure in Dries’ piece, but uses familiar images of Liz Taylor (cleavage), Miley Cyrus (innerboob), Lindsay Lohan (sideboob), and even bootylicious Beyonce (underboob) to curry her readers’ approbation in the comments; and, of course, to provide some eye candy, too! She even points out a few choice places to find your preferred means of semi-boob ogling, whether you’re an inner-man or a under-guy or a classicist who prefers to ogle from above.

“What is the next big boob trend?” Jezebel asks in closing, “Topboob? Full-on nipple boob?” Whatever it is, color me interested.

Vivid Saves Joe Francis from Sex Tape Shame

Girls Gone Wild

In what many may interpret as a perpetuation of a ‘boys’ club’ mentality, Vivid Video head honcho Steve Hirsch has purchased a sex tape starring (and allegedly stolen from) Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis and his girlfriend Abbey Wilson. So, business as usual for the company that has released “leaked” and “stolen” sex tapes starring numerous celebrities from Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, Janine Lindemulder and Vince Neil, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Tila Tequila, and, most recently, Teen Mom “star” Farrah Abraham and “legitimate partner” James Deen. So, we can expect Francis and Wilson’s tape to see an imminent release, right? Well, no.

Hirsch, who paid an undisclosed sum for the video, allegedly stolen from Wilson’s iPad at LAX, made his purchase to ensure the safe return of the sex tape to its rightful owners in consideration of their established tight bro-ness. Surely a tape featuring Francis, recently convicted of false imprisonment and assault of three women he met at a club in Hollywood in 2011 and the creator of one of porn’s most widely despised companies, would be in sufficient demand to warrant a release! Not so, says Hirsch, who apparently regards the age old rule of “Bros Before Hos (and Video Sales)” as an unbreakable tenant of friendship.

Francis, who faces five years in prison and fines up $13,000 for his offenses, may have narrowly escaped public humiliation this time, but… Oh, wait, no he didn’t.