Beatin’ on a Budget! with Zero Tolerance

ztodZero Tolerance is not a company known for taking the easy way out. Hiring women as devastatingly sexy as Rebeca Linares, Chanel Preston, Anissa Kate, and Skin Diamond, any company could simply shoot a light striptease and still have viewers nutting in their drawers. Zero Tolerance, though, claims to have “zero tolerance for bad porn,” and aims to prove it by inviting you, the Mr. Pink’s reader, to join all three of its flagship video sites for less than twenty bucks a month.

That’s right, folks, ZTOD, Black Ice Pass and 3rd Movies are now all open for business and costing only $19.95. Buy a month-long pass to enjoy any one of these sites and you’ll find yourself with easy access to both others at no additional cost, ratcheting the value of Zero Tolerance fandom up higher than ever. Sure, movies like Cougar Club, Ready Wet Go, and Hand to Mouth are appealing enough, but when you include the Interactive Sex With series that sees you virtually fucking Sasha Grey, Bree Olson, Jenna Haze, Courtney Cummz, and Alektra Blue, how you could possibly resist is beyond me.

The Math:
ZTOD currently holds more than 5,500 scenes, while 3rd Movies holds 2,500 and Black Ice Pass 1,200. Altogether that gives the ZTOD member an estimated 9,200 scenes to savor. And, with membership at $19.95 per month, that breaks down to about 460 scenes per dollar or 4.6 scenes per cent. So cheap! So thrilling! Surely this ZTOD deal is a gift from the gods!

Come back next week for another Beatin’ on a Budget! as Mr. Pink’s proves that, when it comes to reviewing adult content, only two things are required: an keen critical eye and zero tolerance for expensive porn.

Disciplined Desired – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

This is a little embarrassing, but, I need advice. I want to bring the act of spanking into the foreplay my wife and I share, but, I don’t know how to come out and tell her. I’ve made hints and her reply is always the same, something about that being disgusting, sick, weird, etc. I’ve never played my hand far enough for her to know I’m talking about myself wanting to do this, so she doesn’t tell her girlfriends she’s married to a fetish freak. I don’t even know why I want it, but I do, and my excitement level isn’t as high as I know it would be if I could be spanked.

Disciplined Desired

Dear Friend;

Anything that’s not a frequent action in someone’s life can often be seen as odd or different, but that doesn’t mean it will never be tried and incorporated. It seems you’ve been skirting around the issue a bit, and if you’re unclear on the presentation, your wife may be responding with hesitancy, unsure of what your feelings are, hence, leaving her unsure of the direction to reply.

In reading between the lines, I wonder if you’re seeking reassurance for yourself that this fetish feeling you carry is indeed something normal. Allow me to say, I would never say what’s normal and what’s not, it’s different strokes for different folks. With that disclaimer added, I’ll also offer an avenue you’ve maybe not thought about before. For every action in life, sexual or not, there are hundreds of reasons for doing so, and when it comes to spanking, that doesn’t immediately mean you should have a pacifier between your lips and you want to practice infantilism.

Looking at it from a logical standpoint, when a person has their eager butt spanked, the hand, cane, riding crop, hair brush, etc. makes contact with that area of the body, it’s very close to the genitalia, whether male or female. The stinging and burning, the awakening of nerve endings from the contact made radiates to the erogenous zones as part of the foreplay warm up, and there is certainly nothing abnormal about that. So, it could be, that bit of a ticklish tease it gives to your testicles is just another form of stimulation that makes your orgasm more powerful.

Of course there’s also the avenue of your desire to slip into a bit of a submissive role, to have your wife control and discipline you, which is also a form of stimulation for the largest sex organ of the body….the brain.

I seemingly always advise my question makers, honesty is the best policy. Trust in your wife and the bond the two of you share. Let her know it’s just something kinky you’d like to try, and who knows, maybe once you do, it isn’t everything you thought it would be. Variety is the spice of life, and spice belongs in the bedroom as well as the kitchen. Take the bull by the horns and then take your wife by the hand, tell her what you’re feeling and let nature take its course. And that my friend, is an order, don’t miss out on something that you’ll find yourself years later wishing you’d attempted to share with her, life is short, go for the gusto. Do it soon, or….I’ll put you over my knee!

Rabbi Dildo in Masturpiece Drama

Masturpiece's Rampant Rabbi“You wanna make dildos in the image of the Queen, Count Dracula, a genie, and a rabbi? And you don’t think it’ll land you in hot water?”

Despite the protestations I’m sure he suffered through, entrepreneur Shed Simove embarked on his latest and arguably most controversial business endeavor, Masturpieces. Modeled after Her Royal Highness, the immortal blood sucker portrayed by Bela Lugosi, the bottled-up granter of three wishes, and a teacher of the Torah, Masturpieces are dildos produced in limited runs and commanding fairly steep prices.

Now, you might assume it’d be the general Jewish community (as no doubt represented by some self-appointed leading body) that has complained about Masturpiece’s Rampant Rabbi, but fellow adult retailer Ann Summers. Usually associated with the staple of its business, women’s undergarments, Ann Summers also produces the “world’s most popular sex toy,” the Rampant Rabbit vibrator. After Simove’s application for trademark on his Rampant Rabbi was thwarted by a challenge from the retail giant, the self-styled “Ideas Man” simply decided to forgo trademarking his creation. “I can’t trademark it but I’m still using the name. I don’t think there is any confusion between the products,” he told the Daily Star.

What do you think? Should this comedian, “serial entrepreneur,” author, and motivational speaker relent and choose a different name for his culturally irreverent work of phallic devotion or is he cutting it a little too close to a well-known brand and protected trademark? Could you or your ladyfriend possibly mistake one for the other? (Perhaps a side-by-side visual comparison is required. If not, it’s at least an amusing image.)

Masturpiece's Rampant Rabbi

Pix-and-Out for UK Cricketer

Professional athletes are always getting into trouble of a risque nature. In fact, 27 NFL players have been arrested since February’s Super Bowl XLVII for everything from DUI and carrying a concealed weapon to abuse and murder. While the athletes of Great Britain thankfully seem to be abstaining from the more reprehensible violent crimes, they’re hardly immune to behavioral slip-ups. One athlete in particular, Gareth Young of the Derbyshire County Cricket League, has just received an inordinately lengthy ban for what started as a rather stupid joke, but a joke nonetheless.

Young, who tweets as @Youngy10, allegedly posted an explicit image poking fun at League champions, Swarkestone, an image that saw him strung up before a disciplinary hearing. The result?

Not one to take his punishment for allegedly posting a photo of an erect penis lying down, “Youngy” took to Twitter to vent his frustration, gather support, and jump the “Keep Calm…” meme-wagon.

keep calm and pray for gareth

But instead of waiting out the duration of his punishment, Youngy decided the garden was where his future lay, not the pitch or the boudoir.

So, good luck on your future endeavors, Youngy, and may you keep on roaring and raging for free speech and juvenile, borderline-homophobic humor long into your retirement. Enjoy your gardening, but be careful, ’cause even a little backyard bat-and-ball action could have you in even deeper water.

Nookie Neglected – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink;

I know it’s usually the other way around, but, for some reason my husband keeps turning me down when I want sex. It’s been happening for the last couple of years, and the other night he told me I was like a sex addict or something, wanting it all the time. He thinks once a week is plenty. We’re in our early 40’s and neither of us should be feeling non sexual at this age, right? I’m not sure if I’m the problem or he is.

Feeling Neglected

Dear Friend,
Well, if you want to take about a hormonal type of reaction to your problem, I first have to say, by no means am I a doctor. With that being said, it would be my uneducated guess that no two people are identical as to when their sex drive heightens or lessens.
A lot of things could be factored in to the bed sheets being cooler than what you’d like. Maybe there’s stress with his job or life in general that’s keeping his libido at a dull roar, or, it could be that some men enjoy being the one to initiate the foreplay and hardcore sessions in the master bedroom, then, there is also the possibility that with it now being football season, he’s more interested in the huddle than the cuddle.

It’s not unnatural, most couples will go through dry spells now and then, and sometimes all it takes is something a little extra special to re-ignite that spark. Some sexy lingerie, high heels, a provocative note left in his briefcase to find at lunch, or maybe a phone call during that 2 pm drowsy time of every afternoon to perk things up. The main thing is to not take it personally, don’t let it make you feel as though you aren’t attractive or he doesn’t want you like he did when you were dating, people change, and part of that change can affect the sex drive.

Maybe do a little soul searching before you approach him for a conversation about your needs. Is it the sex itself that you desire or the closeness? Would a few passionate hugs or the holding of your hand now and then be enough to assure you his heart is still in the right place? Sometimes we mistake hardcore acts for a softcore need.

I find myself telling people, communication is a huge part of any relationship, but before you go into a deep discussion, be sure of what you’re feeling and then be open to receive his feedback. Always make sure honesty is the foundation and compromise will go hand in hand.

Just as you might need or want certain things to stimulate you to the highest level, he’s only human and also has needs of his own. Curb your desire to pounce on him until you know he’s ready to be your pornographic prey, and then slip into your safari frame of mind and conquer the beast within you both!