Dumping Routine – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

Alright, so, this is girl to girl talk time. I’ve been dating the same guy for nearly 9 months, and, I like him, he’s a good friend, and I would do anything in the world for him, but he’s boring me out of my mind! Every night it’s the same thing, we grab a bite to eat, watch television, he falls asleep on the sofa, I go to bed, and then it starts over the next day. I’m not married because I’m not into the routine and rut of that kind of life, I want to be out and doing things, painting the town red, being wild and naughty on occasion, he’s holding me back and I don’t know how to let him down easy. Any good break up lines you’d care to offer?

– Dumping Routine

Dear Friend,

Well, it certainly sounds as if you’ve made up your mind on the course of your actions. Have you tried talking to your boyfriend, explaining how you feel things are in a rut and there’s a strong difference in your personalities? Sometimes communication can make a huge difference, open doors you only saw as windows.

Apparently you’ve done a nice job of hiding how you really feel, because if he had any inclination you are as unhappy as you voiced in your question, he probably wouldn’t feel so comfortable in the evenings, to just fall asleep on the sofa and feel that everything is right with the world. Yes, routines happen, yes, ruts can be fallen into, but, it takes two to make life exciting and invigorating for both parties.

You’ve got to be willing to be open with your feelings, and, he has to be cooperative about climbing from the couch and through the doors of a nightclub now and then. Did you ever think, maybe he falls asleep more out of boredom than weariness? Perhaps he thought this was the type of lifestyle you enjoyed, and, he wanted to make you happy. It sounds like there could be two sides to this story and with neither of you talking, then that means no one is listening.

There is no such thing as a good break up line, what there is however, is a thing called honesty. Open up, tell him how you feel, either he’ll agree to being more of a party animal or he’ll have to accept your decision to end things. For future reference, if you’re going to spend that much time in a relationship, disclose what you’re looking for quickly, during the getting to know one another stage of dating, that way, no one is blindsided and you’ll feel better knowing you’ve made yourself clear from the beginning. You get what you ask for, so, it’s time to ask!

Brand New Girls: Generation XXX

Evil Angel

Adult director/performer Kevin Moore might largely be known these days for his use (or abuse) of both the POV camera position and the fish-eye lens effect. Users of such sites as Videobox are most vocal about Moore’s stylistic touches, seeing them as excessive, distracting, and unflattering. (They’re also suspiciously fond of bitching about his not-entirely-straight dick.) But Moore is anything but resourceful and perceptive: he’s capitalized on booming trends in POV, tights and leggings, and fetishistic endless close-ups of porn’s most delectable asses. Now Moore has pulled together another stellar production for Evil Angel, something of a welcoming party for porn’s newest generation of superfreaks.

Brand New Girls

After gyrating through a dubstep dance introduction, leggy brunette August Ames tells of her transformation from a plump teen to the svelte, statuesque beauty presented before us in glorious High Definition. She then whips out a Hitachi Magic Wand and keeps her arousal mounting as she gets to work on her director. (August reappears at the end for a solo “bonus” scene.)

Ava Taylor doesn’t take long to ditch her horn-rimmed specs and the sucker in her mouth to start professing her boundless freakishness. Moore clearly winds himself into a tizzy during her tease and after she proves her point many times over in the ensuing 35-minute POV romp, he unloads across her face. The glasses, of course, returned.

Chinese-born Alina Li has already made her lusty presence felt at Team Skeet, Bang Bros, and Reality Kings in some scorching scenes and has even made a couple of appearances in recent Evil Angel movies Asian Fuck Faces #03 and Strap Some Boys #02, so she’s clearly down for some fairly debauched sex. “I can have sex everyday and I won’t get sore,” she tells Moore. “My vagina can keep on going.”

Katerina Kay is the only blonde featured in Brand New Girls and the only newbie to take Moore load not on her face but on her ass. Like Ava Taylor, though, she spends a good 25 minutes sucking on a bright green lollipop before submitting to Moore’s sexual demands; he bends her over an ottoman yet we reap the benefits!

Dillion Harper seems slightly more blase about her appearance, already having done the whole “I’m fresh-faced and virginal!” thing. She claims to have improved her blowjobs, moved on from webcamming, and found an appreciation for semen showers, gleefully batting her eyelids beneath this particular drenching.

Brand New Girls is available now from Evil Angel.

Brand New Girls

Naughty America Busts Out 4K

Naughty America

According to various consumer reports, approximately 1.9 million people bought a 4K television in 2013. In other words, 4K TVs barely made a dent in one of the nation’s and the world’s most reliable markets: American television consumers. Sales projections made by research group NPD DisplaySearch, however, indicate that 2014 is set to be the year 4K High Definition video takes over your home theater with the production of 27 million 4K TV panels already underway in China this year. Chinese retail prices are also set to drop from their lofty USD $1,700-minimum cost to a far more affordable sub-$1,000 range. Naturally, the rest of the world will quickly follow suit. Hell, Naughty America’s already leading the stateside charge with the recent unveiling of their latest upgrade: 4K High Definition Naughty America porn!

To celebrate the dawn of a new year, Naughty America announced the arrival of the strongest, most dazzling video upgrade in the company’s history, unveiling a trailer video as incredibly detailed as it is undeniably arousing. Featuring brief appearances by Chanel Preston, Lisa Ann, Phoenix Marie, and sultry newcomer August Aimes, the trailer reaches a new and impressive level of detail that allows your to visually separate hairs that even in 1080p seemed clumped together; skin tones, performers’ eyes (especially in POV), and, of course, the remarkably detailed and lifelike genital imagery are all sights to behold. And you’ll be beholding them not in the almost-4K you see on TV broadcasts but in the full 4095x2160p resolution, avoiding the confusion many would-be 4K fans run into when making a purchase.

Clearly, Naughty America has decided not to cut corners or keep in line with the underachieving majority, but to press onwards and upwards toward their vision of porn so lifelike, so realistic, so almost-but-not-quite-tangible that it really is the next best thing to, say, slamming Veronica Avluv from behind while she devours the sopping snatch of Jynx Maze, who stares you in the face and invites you to invade not only her ass, but both their asses. (Now tell me a 4K TV, hopefully a reasonably affordable one, isn’t on your shopping list!)

Boning-Up on V-Day Porn

Once the end-of-year holiday and sales bonanza has died down a little, store shelves lose their sparkling tinsel and multi-colored string lights for a decidedly more passionate hue: the red of eroticism, lustful fervor, and, yes, love most of all. In honor of the Roman Catholic patron of love, the engaged, and the married (as well as bee keepers, fainters, and epileptics, strangely enough), Valentinus of Rome, better known as Saint Valentine, February 14th is celebrated around the world by lovers, suitors, couples, and, in some rather odd ways, the lonely. You, wherever you fall on that spectrum of amorous satisfaction, have been blessed by the porn gods this year and can spend your Valentine’s Day “brief period of self-reflection” to abuse yourself with the following smutty V-day episodes:

– The first of three Brazzers scenes focusing on Valentine’s Day carnality hit Big Tits at School a few days ago and saw relatively new cocksman Jessy Jones reap the benefits of some lessons given to his anally inclined girlfriend Alby Rhydes by her teacher Alura Jensen, both of whom receive him in all passages for a V-day he’ll not soon forget.

Alby Rhydes and Alura Jensen

– Over at Mommy Got Boobs, the incomparable Julia Ann offers her stepson (Jessy Jones again) a sample of what his dad’s been getting and teaches him a number of lessons in how to please a woman so he doesn’t take his girlfriend out for a lovely Valentine’s Night dinner only to end up in Dumpsville.

Julia Ann

– Devon, the legendary blonde who recently returned to porn, is working late on V-day. Clearly pissed about her situation, she decides to simply make the most of her coworker Toni Ribas, who responds to her flashing by thrusting his instant erection into Devon’s throat, snatch, and asshole, because, as Brazzers says, “Valentine’s Day is all about spreading the love!”

Devon Big Tits at Work

– With most other significant sites and networks totally dropping the ball this year and apparently not bothering with Valentine’s Day at all, it has been left to the (kinda, sorta, maybe) amateurs to do things right: Home of the brightly-lit close-up POV blowjob, Amateur Allure is running a Valentine’s Day promotion that offers discounted monthly access ($25 down from $36) and the chance to see Kennedy Leigh 2014 AVN Award Winner (Best POV Sex Scene for Jules Jordan’s Ultimate Fuck Toy: Kennedy Leigh) in what promises to be an irresistible oral performance.

Kennedy Leigh

Who knows, maybe you can pre-game with these scenes before heading out for the night loaded with hope, condoms, and a throbbing pair of balls then try convincing your date to get adventurous in similar ways. (If you can pull that one off then, mister, you’re a better man than I.)

Brazzers Wants Your Gift Cards


There it was emblazoned across the bottom of a picture of Keisha Grey’s bountiful ass on the homepage at Brazzers HQ: “Trade Unused Gift Cards for Membership.” My jaw dropped. Could Brazzers really be telling me there’s a use for all those Starbucks and Target and Best Buy and (ugh) Marshalls gift cards my family members indifferently toss at me come Christmastime? Considering the ZZ sign-up process now includes the option to pay in the virtual currencies issued by everyone from Adidas and Aeropostale to Urban Outfitters, Victoria’s Secret, and even Wal-Mart and palmed off as thoughtless presents by pretty much everyone, I’d say that’s affirmative, wouldn’t you?

Brazzers opened this new avenue of payment in early January and has been Tweetin’ the news to its ten gazillion followers thusly:

When it comes to alternative methods of payment, the ZZ has some competition, though, as Naughty America recently announced that it would be accepting new members paying with bank checks and the controversial decentralized crypto-currency Bitcoin. With Bitcoin thrust under the nose of the CIA, the FBI, the DEA, the ATF (all the acronyms, really) due to deep-web markets like Silk Road, perhaps that seemingly useless stack of gift cards is indeed the wisest path of alternative porn-site payment. Brazzers assures its members the whole process will be painless and, aside from not getting the exact monetary value of the gift card in question, you’ll probably find it so. If you’ve got a $25 Starbucks card laying around, that’ll get you 16 days of access; a $200 Best Buy gift card earns you an insane 608 days of access!

And, bless ‘em, the Brazzers team has made the whole transaction anonymous so you’ll never have to ‘fess up and admit to your dear old mother that the Williams-Sonoma gift card she gleefully presented you and your then-girlfriend with all those months ago didn’t make it anywhere near a Williams-Sonoma store and instead was used to ensure you wouldn’t have to miss Madison Ivy’s hotly anticipated, much ballyhooed upcoming anal debut right here at Brazzers. Whew.