November, 2014 | Mr. Pink's Blog

The Porn Dude Advises

Back in the days the 33.3k modems, heavily contested phone line access, and piled-high floppy disk archives, there was one website above all others that broadened my pornographic horizons and lowered my tolerance for worthless smut. That website, Sublime Directory was, in essence, a listing of adult websites of all kinds, from all countries, and it introduced me to facials, gangbangs, scat, and the amazing work of amateur pornographers the world over. Times changes, though, and people move on. I’d learned more than enough during my patronage of Sublime Directory that I could confidently instruct my friends on where to find celebrity nudes screen-capped from VHS tapes, Southeast Asian pissing videos, or the elusive DVDA we first heard about via South Park. I was, in effect, the porn connoisseur you would all soon come to know and love me as. It was time for something new, so I ventured forth into the professional porn world alone, without any website to guide my taste and opinion. Mr. Pink’s was born and set about un-muddying the world of paid online porn to ensure you, the home viewer, would never be left feeling a pizza was a better option than beating off to, say, Twistys’ bikini galleries.

Every now and then, a potential replacement for my beloved Sublime Directory comes along and asks to be pilfered for porno info. The Porn Dude is one such website, and one such character. Holding court over a simply designed range of charts that chronicle the most visited and most beloved adult websites on the ‘net. And this isn’t just mainstream U.S. porn either, there’s webcam, picture and gif dump, Asian and Arab and Ebony porn sites, the best NSFW Reddit forums, choice picks of hentai, celebrity nudes (real and fake), Tumblr feeds, XXX comics, and adult Flash video games. Fetish sites, explicit Vines, watersports and scat, and adults-only dating sites all get a run, too, with many well-known Mr. Pink’s favorites topping lists left, right, and center.

The Porn Dude’s links are reliably live – I came upon no missing pages or dead links – but, while they connect you to image boards, preview sites, and free content of all kinds, this isn’t a link directory in the same sense of those early ones, Sublime Directory included. You won’t find links to promotional Brazzers, Naughty America, or Net Video Girls scenes here and although that might irritate those on the hunt for a specific woman or very specific act. We who remember the nightmarish pop-up onslaughts and abruptly-ending 10-second preview clips, on the other hand, won’t mind a bit. It would be nice to see a portion of The Porn Dude’s service dedicated to porn reviewers and advice forums to provide sage wisdom from yours truly and colleagues on the merit of the porn you’re now so well connected to. A stronger search tool would also be a welcome addition to this otherwise comprehensive link-fest The Porn Dude has assembled for your benefit. Why not at least bestow upon him a visit if not your undying respect and admiration. After all, he’s gone to so much effort. Thanks, Porn Dude!

Jada Stevens, Mia Malkova, Nick Sterling Turn Exclusive

wo of the most bottom-heavy beauties in American porn, Jada Stevens and Mia Malkova, both announced exclusive performance deals recently with Malkova signing with Hard X and Stevens aligning herself with new studio ArchAngel Productions. Various other ass-loving adult studios read the announcements and wept.

Malkova, the reigning AVN Best New Starlet, signed with her pals at Hard X after shooting a handful of scenes with director Mason and will make her in-contract debut in Super Cute 2 (released this month). Although permitted to shoot solo and girl-girl content for other studios, Malkova, who recently made her anal debut at Brazzers, will be taking dick only for Hard X.

Taking her reign as Evil Angel’s legendary Buttwoman even further, one of porn’s other truly ass-tastic beauties, Jada Stevens has thrown her lot in with a brand new company headed by award-winning director MimeFreak. In her first feature for ArchAngel Productions, the focus will be firmly on Stevens’s ample rear and exceptional anal skills; but she’s not stopping there. After The Booty Movie, which she apparently helped cast, Stevens will be seen in Anal Warriors – “[It’s] about bitches taking it in the ass,” says MimeFreak – alongside fellow anal acrobats Adriana Chechik, Dahlia Skye, Dana DeArmond and Natasha Starr, all of whom she’s surely set to out-perform. After all, she was Buttwoman!

There’s been some contract signing happening over on the all-male side of the industry, too, with Falcon Studios Group nabbing rising star Nick Sterling all for themselves. As per Sterling’s deal, he’ll shoot for Falcon and its Raging Stallion and Hot House subsidiaries after making his Falcon debut with Ready to Fuck. Falcon President Chris Ward was mightily impressed with Sterling’s first hardcore scene and considered signing him to an exclusive contract on the spot, but took some time to make sure. “Nick Sterling is handsome with a penetrating gaze and he’s got a body, dick, and ass that was made to appear in adult film,” Ward said. Sterling meanwhile expressed his gratitude, calling the Falcon team “some of the warmest and most professional people I have worked with in the industry. They make the experience fun and memorable each and every time.”

Let’s hope these three remarkable performers use their new home studios to bring us a fun and memorable experience each time, too.

Pubic Hair Booming in South Korea

Grab yourself a look at South Korea’s most significant cultural exports at the moment – charming girl group pop, insanely hot soda spokesmodels, and blockbuster action movies – and you’d have no idea that beneath the shiny, tech-savvy, economically booming surface of the nation lay a groundswell of people devoted to glorifying their pubic hair. Sure, “The muff is back,” has been bandied about the porn industry for a while now, but with Laurie Vargas retired and Bobbi Starr mostly behind the camera these days, pubic hair isn’t anywhere near as prominent as it was thought to be becoming. In South Korea, however…

So keen are many Korean women on the idea of sporting a voluminous pubic muff that they’re using a procedure called “bush grafting” to artificially add extra follicles down below, follicles grafted from their scalps. As detailed by Refinery29, Korean pubic hirsutism is rooted in the traditional belief that heavy follicles are a sign of fertility and a healthy sexual well-being. The bush grafting is not so traditional, however, with a study conducted by Seoul’s Arumdaun Nara Dermatologic and Plastic Surgery Clinic revealing that 74% of women undergoing the procedure did it because of “a sense of inferiority to the same sex.” In other words, other women with more lush pubic hair made ’em feel crappy. The International Society of Hair Restoration Surgery reports that bush grafting has risen a remarkable 160% between 2010 and 2012 and with the procedure starting at $2,000, that’s a lot of expensive merkins roaming the banks of the Han River.

Meanwhile, back in the USA, it’s still bald or near-bald female pubic regions as far as the eye can see. Surely there’s a comfortable middle ground to be found, perhaps after extensive diplomatic talks between our two nations. Hell, maybe we can rope Kim Jong-un into the discussions and find out once and for all if pubic hair in North Korea is as uniform and militarized as everything else.

Give Yourself a Handie!

Considering the dearth of sexual aids available to men – let’s face it, there’s the Pocket Pussy and Fleshlight and little else – it’s quite surprising that nobody tried to address this market disparity with something like The Handie before now. As discussed on this here blog back in early October, The Handie is an all-in-one sexual aid for men that promises to make bare-fisted masturbation a thing of the past. With a self-lubricating system, vibrating element, textured penetration simulation, and an easy-to-clean ejaculate receptacle, The Handie should’ve been such a smash hit with online audiences that it’s failure to raise the $69,000 declared necessary for production on the product’s IndieGoGo crowdfunding page.

Raising only $3,862 through IndieGoGo, The Handie went into production anyway and is now available for purchase. And, given the amount of attention The Handie has been receiving from the mainstream and adult branches of the media, it could soon be sold out. Heather Vahn (of whom we haven’t seen nearly enough lately) and Khloe Kush starred in the very first Handie promo video (above) and Angelina Chung has just been named the very first “Handie Girl” (although exactly what that means remains to be seen), proving this unique masturbatory aid not only has the pornstar seal of approval, but seems a solid, failure-proof venture enough that actual adult entertainment professionals are risking embarrassment and a career misstep to support it. The Handie is very real and very available and (presumably) very comfortable… unless you’re Milwaukee Buck Giannis Antetokounmpo, that is.