Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – September 24th, 2015

mrpinksVariety sometimes does prove to be the spice of life. Other occasions, though, show consistency and reliability as the most important attributes one can have. What happens when both are in play? You get Team Skeet, dude! This week at Mr. Pink’s it was an all-Skeet week with four brand new porn reviews of Team Skeet sites both fresh off the assembly line and very well established. Teens Do Porn showcases professional hardcore debuts, Exxxtra Small is home to porn’s tiniest teen hussies eager to take (or try) big dick, Step Siblings serves up lesbian sex more risqué than most, and Teens Love Anal aims to prove that, yes, they really, really do. Some of these Team Skeet sites proved a little understocked but with network access at your disposal, no Team Skeet member should ever find himself lacking in beat-off material. Until next week, keep it filthy, friends!

Erik Everhard Heads to Europe

Europe is in the throes of a major refugee and immigration crisis with hundreds of thousands of Syrians, Afghanistan, Eritrea, Darfur, Iraq, Pakistan, and many other Middle Eastern and African people fleeing the devastation of their homelands for the relative safety and security of the European Union. But not everyone flocking to the Continent is searching for the most basic forms of peace and prosperity. Some are searching for a sexual, artistic, and professional satisfaction they no longer could find at home. People like this guy.

Erik Everhard

Here at home in good ol’ North America, however, one of our favorite sons decided he’d had enough of sitting around LA resting on his considerable laurels, packed his bags and headed off to Budapest to conquer the entire European continent. Erik Everhard, AVN Hall of Famer and hugely successful producer/director/performer, doesn’t exactly have a plan, though, telling XBIZ that he’ll weigh his options upon arrival and has no plans to immediate start working, instead taking a more casual approach to the next phase of his illustrious career. For starters, he’s been Tweeting some beautiful black and white photographs taken on his relocation journey thus far.

With his asshole-friendly dick still very much eager for action – Everhard’s one of those, “I’m in porn for the pleasure,” guys – the Canadian porn legend has even teamed up with one of Europe’s most distinguished pornographers, Mr. Rocco Siffredi. If this pairing is any indication, it looks like we might be seeing Mr. Everhard in even more intense scenes than he’s given us in the past. As an expert anal and DP performer, perhaps European porn’s fondness for stuffing women completely full of dick will suit him (and us, his fans) just fine.


Erik Everhard @ Evil Angel

7-11 Now Caters to Lazy Daters

7-11 pink slurpeeWhen it’s 3am and you’re stumbling half-drunk down Second St, failing to flag down a taxi and unable to wrangle your Uber app into doing what it’s supposed to, convenience store giant 7-11 is an absolute god send. When you’re blazing with your buddies and dream up a liquid concoction involving Mountain Dew, Miller Lite, and the extracted juices of a nine-hour-old hot dog, again 7-11 saves the day. But when you’re unable to supplant yourself from wherever it is you’re doing whatever it is you’re doing – say, it’s going well with a new ladyfriend over drinks at your apartment when you both start getting pangs of hunger – a brick-and-mortar location can’t provide a truly convenient service, unless…

Braving new territory in the realm of corporate retail convenience chains, 7-11 has announced that four of its largest markets (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Los Angeles, and Chicago) will now be able to order pre-packed products for home delivery. First up, packs devoted to Game Day, Endurance, and the Sniffles aimed respectively at augmenting the thrill of your favorite Big Game™, priming you for peak athletic performance, and aiding your recovery from a mild cold. The last of the four packs making leading the charge for 7-11’s new endeavor, which spokeswoman Margaret Chabris told the New York Daily News will “redefine convenience,” are far more suited to Mr. Pink’s readership than those just mentioned. 7-11’s Date Night Pack brings the purchaser Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream, a can of Red Bull (for staying power!), a Hershey’s chocolate bar (to boost your already heightened libidos), and, most importantly, some Trident gum and a trio of Trojan Ultra Thin condoms to ensure the only thing you’re passing to each other is the quickly emptying tub of Ben & Jerry’s. And, if the two of you hit the sauce while getting saucy (and assuming she stayed over) 7-11’s Hangover Pack should soothe what ails ya (along with some nice, slow good-morning recovery sex) with extra-strength Acetaminophen, Fruit Punch Gatorade, a Smoked Turkey and Pepper Jack Sandwhich, and, the most crucial item of all, one large Pepperoni Pizza direct from the reliably questionable oven rack at your nearest participating 7-11 location.

The cost of 7-11’s ultra-convenient home-delivered packs run from just $9.75 for the Endurance to $25 for Game Day with Date Night and Hangover sitting at $20 and $15 each. Throw in $2 for delivery and you’re looking at a whole new level of near-instant gratification to augment your Earthly search for happiness. Kudos, 7-11. Kudos to you.