Mr. Pink’s Must-Haves: Reality Kings

rk

A nonsense claim was bandied about the news media in the mid-00s that at least 35% and as much as 80% of the Internet was of a pornographic nature. In 2011, Julie Ruvolo of Forbes Magazine sought a more accurate number and found Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam, co-authors of A Billion Wicked Thoughts, who informed her that their research pointed to porn comprising just 4% of the million most trafficked websites, a scant 42,337 adult sites. Though that number seems barely significant, there is nevertheless so much gosh darn pornography on the Internet that it can seem impossible to make sense of it all. As a porn reviewer, that’s where I come in. Well, more specifically, a new recurring blog feature from yours truly, Mr. Pink’s Must-Haves, a semi-regular, randomly-scheduled attempt to cut through the crap and simply say, “Hey, porn fan – look at this amazing smut!” I’ll be pointing to one site, network, or online performer who is undoubtedly worthy not only of your attention but every last dime of your porno budget. And to start us off in fine fashion…

It’s all too easy to forget that barely a decade ago, mainstream porn wasn’t concerned with extreme bondage, hardcore gangbang fantasies, pseudo-incest, or heavily tattooed women sporting mohican hairstyles: it was all about “reality” or whatever could pass for it. And back then, Reality Kings ruled the roost with on-the-prowl style sites like MILF Hunter, 8th Street Latinas, Money Talks, and Cum Fiesta. Soon Reality Kings expanded, embracing absurdity (It’s Real, No Faces) and exhibitionism (Captain Stabbin’, Street Blowjobs) to dismal failure and long-term success, respectively. Now, with the recent addition of expert dicks Chris Strokes and Bruce Venture to POV site Pure18, InTheVip’s endless stream of excitable new talents, stronger HD videos and high-res photos than previously seen, and a new generation of incredible young women taking We Live Together to more tangible erotic heights, Reality Kings is clearly still one of the most significant adult networks today. Not content to miss out on current trends altogether, Reality Kings not only has a pseudo-incestuous endeavor of their own, they have one of the best: Moms Bang Teens, newly supplemented by an all-female take Moms Lick Teens. And, if you join through Mr. Pink’s, it’s cheap too, only $17.95-a-month.

Where would we be without Reality Kings? There’d be no solo cameramen picking up horny cougars outside strip malls. There’d be no pervasive myth that nightclubs routinely see orgies break out. And, most terrifyingly of all, millions of otherwise satisfied porn fans would still be holding back billions upon billions of sperm. Now, that, my friends, is a reality few of us could live with.

Reality Kings review

Keiran Lee’s Million-Dollar Milestone

Keiran974x350

The US adult entertainment industry has always welcomed foreign talents whether proudly Italian like Rocco Sifreddi or indeterminately Asian like Alina Li. Viewers were shocked, however, when the what is arguably the world’s most popular and prominent adult vendor, Brazzers, put almost its entire operations behind the penis and sexual performance of one man, the man with the million-dollar dick, Keiran Lee. “Who is this curiously-accented cocksman, where did he come from, and why is he taking over Brazzers’ dick duties?” That was 2008. Now, a lot has changed and Mr. Lee is not only one of the most respected male performers in the business, he’s proving quite the superhuman addition to the Brazzers family. After signing an exclusive contract with the company around 2008 then sticking around to develop his directing skills, Lee has gone from fledgling stud to one of the most admired on-screen men in porn. Brazzers must be happy with the man’s work, too, since the studio has just celebrated his contribution with a 1000th scene gala event that sees Lee plow Nina Elle, Chanel Preston, and Jasmine Jae, who also regale audiences with anecdotes from their previous encounters with the the milestone man.

keiranlee1000brazzers

After Nina tells of a Keiran-broken fingernail that caused sudden blood gushes, Jasmine clues us into the man’s distaste for cotton balls and navel play, and Chanel admits she was “a cunt” when they first met but soon warmed to the ever-reliable stud, who she claims can perform more than capably under the most absurd conditions (110° heat, against a cactus, on a motorcycle etc), we tour through the cavalcade of characters Keiran’s played over the years before he steps onto set and meets his trio of favorite females. The ladies, in turn, have a surprise for him and bring out a string of eight open-mouthed ladies (Tiffany Doll, Dava Foxx, Mia Austin and some deft-tongued babes), some veterans and some newcomers, to all slobber on our boy’s head and show their appreciation for his solid work. And you, you can show your appreciation too – you know how.

Brazzers celebrates the 1000th scene of the studio’s top performer/director (with Nina Elle, Chanel Preston, Jasmine Jae) at Brazzers Extra. Mr. Keiran Lee of Derby, England, husband of Kristin Price and owner of the world’s most highly valued penis: This is Your ZZ Life!

Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – July 17th, 2015:

mrpinksThis week saw Mr. Pink’s patented methods of pornographic analysis tried and tested on a handful of new porn sites. Fun Movies and Cosplay Babes continued our coverage of the Stiffia network, this time with insanely bawdy German amateurs and curvy British babes dressed (and fucked) as your favorite comic-book and sci-fi characters. Also on the agenda, Sin Drive’s wet-and-messy and hardcore-sex-party porn and the breathtaking lesbian encounters of Girlfriends Films. Next week there’ll be more Euro-porn, more filth-and-fucking, and of course more from Mr. Pink. Until then, fap fiends, keep your chins up and go check out Valentina Nappi’s awesome new feature release, Valentina’s Day over on our recent Mr. Pink’s Blog post.