Mr. Skin’s 2016 Guide to Nudes

Mr. Skin

For many, 2016 has been one disaster after another. Cultural icons seemed to kick the bucket en masse, taking away many shining lights of our entertainment-addicted lives. Mr. Skin, intrepid pointer-out of celebrity nudity, once just female but now also male, takes to his blog roll around this time every year to recap the best and most beautiful appearances of naked female celebrity skin on the small screen. And, thankfully, this year delivered some treats that could help reinvigorate your interest in 2017.

Mr. Skin’s 2016 Top Ten sees notable names and almost-complete unknowns share list space on shows for HBO, Netflix, Starz, and other networks, confirming that TV is indeed getting more raunchy and risqué with every passing season. Still need proof to get you back on the sofa? How about these ten skin-baring turns from Hollywood sex symbols both legend and debutante?

Chelsea Handler is rarely shy about baring her naked body and this season of Chelsea was no different, seeing the host take a topless dip in a Russian bath house. Lina Esco of Audience Network’s MMA drama Kingdom took the ninth spot thanks to her wild and numerous sex scenes. Ruby Modine, daughter of actor Matthew, followed in her dad’s nude-friendly footsteps in Shameless for Showtime, which also saw Sasha Alexander and Sherilyn Feen ditch their duds. Cinemax’s original series Quarry showcased Jodi Balfour in what seemed like an abundance of sex scenes baring her breasts and butt. Ashley Green of detective drama Rogue got naked alongside Thandie Newton and Kira Clavell, earning her a spot at #6.

Game of Thrones is well known for its gritty violence and copious sexual activity, some of which involved Eline Powell and her perfect pair of bared breasts. Arguably the most famous name on Mr. Skin’s 2016 list, Olivia Wilde stepped from her costumes in HBO’s massively ill-advised music industry drama Vinyl, at least giving viewers a strong reason to keep tuning in. The top three places on the list went not to individual actresses but to the shows that host them: HBO’s Westworld remake saw plenty of onscreen flesh from Evan Rachel Wood, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, and Thandie Newton (again); Joe Swanberg’s indie drama Easy delivered more sex than many erotic movies, bringing the bods of Malin Akerman, Kate Micucci, Elizabeth Reaser, Aislin Derbez, and Emily Ratajkowski to the screen. Somewhat predictably topping the list is a show that, had it not featured plenty of nudity and blatant fucking, would have gone unwatched by millions (more). The Girlfriend Experience, based on the Steven Soderbergh movie starring Sasha Grey, served up many salacious moments starring Riley Keough (Elvis’s granddaughter!) and a handful of awesome indie actresses.

For the full rundown on who placed where and why, check out Mr. Skin’s Podcast. And, hey, while you’re there, why not consider a membership to the greatest celebrity skin venture ever embarked upon?

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A Hex on Condoms of Old

Condoms: some folks use and love them so much they buy stock in the manufacturer while others become and remain unhappily married just to avoid using them. The latex dick sheaths are one of our most commonly used barriers against the diseases we hate to think a partner is carrying and the unwanted pregnancies that cause emotional turmoil and worse, but they’re far from perfect. Sizing issues, discomfort, breakage, leakage, even allergic reactions have all ruined the effectiveness and enjoyability of condoms for many a user and with no truly significant advances in condom design or manufacturing arriving in recent years, it looked set to remain that way.

Enter Charlie Sheen. Since revealing himself to be HIV positive in late 2015, four years after being diagnosed, Sheen has been something of an odd poster child for protecting oneself against STDs and STIs, inadvertently driving up Google searches about condom use and effectiveness when his HIV status made international headlines. Appearing in a promotional video for Lelo, makers of fine sexual aids, Sheen speaks to his status and how it changed his world. Believing infection was simply something that would never happen to him, Sheen subtly admits to irresponsible practices and hopes that he can now urge others to put up with what “may feel like five seconds of inconvenience [but] may prevent a lifetime of potential grief and suffering.” And he’s bringing a new Lelo product with him, a stark redesign of the standard condom Lelo is calling (for obvious reasons) Hex.

Lelo claims Hex, a more durable and resilient condom that also touts greater sensation, is a bold new vision of condom engineering that address the three main issues with what we’ve all been using for decades: discomfort, slippage, and breakage. The thinnest and strongest material we have, graphene, lent its hexagonal structure to the redesign, reinforcing an ultra-thing sheath of latex to an amazing degree. Although it looks a little too similar to a penile torture device under certain light, Lelo assures would-be patrons of their IndieGoGo fundraising campaign that Hex is stronger, offers an inner raised design to cut down on slippage and maximize his pleasure, and sports ultra-thin latex panels that apparently conform to the shape of the wearer. Clearly, this is aimed to be the kind of condom that could contain even Clark Kent’s eruptions!

Lelo Hex

Although Lelo’s campaign does focus largely on comfort and pleasure – which, let’s face it, should be secondary concerns for condom wearers – the issues of safety also gets quite a few boastful mentions. As it’s fitted, Hex’s structure tessellates (or conforms to changing shape without inherent structural change) around the wearer’s member for a snug and safe fit. A fit even Sheen himself claims to be enjoying these days. A fit he also urges you to try for yourself.

Wrestler. Pornstar. Chyna.

Chyna, the former WWE wrestler, actress, reality television personality, and adult performer born Joanie Laurer in 1970, died at her Redondo Beach home last Wednesday at age 46.

chyna

Upon the 2004 release of 1 Night in China, a sex tape starring Chyna and her then partner, fellow wrestler Sean Waltman (through Red Light District), professional adult interest in seeing Chyna perform heated up until she well and truly seemed to find a new post-wrestling career path. Soon given a string of feature releases to star in – Another Night in China, Backdoor to Chyna, and Chyna is Queen of the Ring – as well as doing such a great job as She-Hulk in Axel Braun’s Avengers parodies that she got her own spin-off movie, Chyna was well and truly a porno phenomenon, shooting her way from homemade anal attempts to five-wrestler in-ring gangbang battles, earning a herself legion of devoted fans and admirers along the way.

With news coming to light that Chyna’s death may have been the result of an accidental overdose of Valium and Ambien, her noted (and televised) struggles with substances again come to the fore. Her legacy, however, will surely center on her instrumental role in increasing the stature of women in one of the most machismo-afflicted sports and entertainment industries of all.

In a tribute to Chyna, WWE assembled a video compiling some of her finest moments in the ring. May I suggest a viewing quickly followed by the entirety of Chyna is Queen of the Ring, tissues by your side for tears (or whatever) should they well up and overflow in fond memory of the one and only Chyna, the Ninth Wonder of the World.