Now that Sony Pictures has cancelled all release plans for the controversial Seth Rogen, James Franco comedy The Interview, prospective fans are wondering if the film will find another life after the nightmare of its proposed theatrical release. North Korean supreme leader, King Jong Un has denied his government had connection to an invasive hack that brought Sony Pictures to its digital knees, a connection strongly suggested by media pundits. Americans are rightfully concerned that Sony’s bowing to the wishes of a cyber-terrorist group, no matter how dubious their origins, sets a precedent for erasing our hard-won freedom to laugh at whatever the fuck we want. And that, dear reader, is something Larry Flynt of Hustler Magazine holds very, very dear.
Telling the Hollywood Reporter that he’d “spent a lifetime fighting for the First Amendment,” and declaring that “no foreign dictator is going to take away [his] right to free speech,” Flynt announced This Ain’t The Interview XXX, his company’s parody version of the doomed political comedy. “If Kim Jong Un and his henchmen were upset before, wait till they see the movie we’re going to make.”
And, whaddya know, it appears President Obama might be right on Flynt’s side this time: “We cannot have a society in which some dictators someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States because if somebody is able to intimidate us out of releasing a satirical movie, imagine what they start doing once they see a documentary that they don’t like or news reports that they don’t like. That’s not who we are. That’s not what America is about.”
No, he’s right. America’s about tits. Lots and lots of tits. (And maybe some heavy duty ass, too!)
Anyone who has sat and watched their favorite show’s entire run with back-to-back episodes in a single Netflix binge will know how devoted we can be to pop-culture in all its forms. Porn parodies, although fading from relevance thanks to more current trends – like the American adult industry and its fans collectively cumming in their trousers the current (and kinda creepy) pseudo-incest craze – are still something of a hot commodity in the adult entertainment world. So much so that Sex.com blogger Chico Dusty has come up with a list of his Top Ten Porn Parodies of 2014 to remind us all that there’s still life left in the old genre yet.
DreamZone Entertainment seems to be coming out on top this year, at least according to Dusty, who ranks The Little Spermaid (dir: Jordan Septo), Cape Fear XXX (dir: Bonnie Rotten), and Rambone XXX: A DreamZone Porn Parody (dir: Septo). Axel Braun hasn’t fallen from his spot as the leading porn parody director and 2014 saw him release Spider-Man XXX 2, Cinderella XXX, and This Ain’t Game of Thrones XXX for Vivid, Wicked, and Hustler respectively. (For Dusty’s complete top ten – what, no love for One Flew Over the Cuckold’s Next, really?)
Although unique entries like Miley May’s first cover feature, the Miley Cyrus-spoofing Molly’s Wrecking Ballz and and Not Jersey Boys XXX (a genuine porn parody musical) made for some interesting viewing, most of the parodies included in Dusty’s list fit the usual bill: superheroes, perverted takes on Disney characters, and two Scorsese movies lampooned in a most lusty style. Fun, sure, but not exactly ground-breaking.
Are porn parodies growing stale or are they gradually getting better, bolder, and more outrageous? Perhaps 2015 will hold the answer, but if Axel Braun’s got anything to say about it it’ll be all spandex sporting sexual spoofs of waning interest to so many porn fans. Is pseudo-incest set to burst into the mainstream the way parodies did a few years back? Will they take over as porn virgins’ first viewings or is something else, something even more risque and tantalizingly taboo on the horizon?
Whatever the case, whether it shuffles off to let pseudo-taboo themes take center-stage or is reinvigorated by new talent and new ideas, 2015 is going to be an interesting year for parody porn.
A few weeks ago, Paper Magazine unleashed what has arguably proven to be its most important issue, but it wasn’t the articles contained within that courted controversy and saw readership expand thousand-fold, it was Kim Kardashian’s ass. The images are now legendary, having been passed around the Internet on seemingly every social media and news platform. In fact, the shots of Kardashian’s oiled rear end have even inspired a SNL parody starring Nicki Minaj and prompted one SAT prep company, Catalyst Prep, to use the most famous backside on Earth to gussy up math questions on an otherwise humorless paper. Now it’s porn’s turn.
Bang Bros site Ass Parade released on Monday their parody of Kim K’s now infamous cover shoot, casting the exquisite Kendra Lust and her astounding derriere and coming quite close to matching the styling of Paper’s shoot. With pearls wrapped around her neck and hanging from her earlobes, hair piled in a high wrapped bun, and wearing only the skimpiest black-and-white lingerie, Ms. Lust looks very much the part as she poses for the Ass Parade camera. Enter Mike Adriano and commence ass-eating, double-cumming, and a creamy facial that seals the deal.
Not one to be beaten on novelty, Brazzers enters the fray on New Year’s Eve with the much-hyped casting of Nikki Benz in Kim K’s place. Standing tall in a black sequined dress that amplifies her already amazing curves, Benz balances a champagne glass on her ass before sliding her dress down to reveal her cheeks. Enter Keiran Lee and commence… well, we’re not sure yet since the scene’s still under wraps until NYE. Talking to XBIZ, though, Ms. Benz let out a few teasers: “During our scene [Lee] was making me cum so much! I was so horny I just asked him to do something I haven’t asked another male performer to ever do, and he was more than happy to comply. I don’t want to reveal what it is yet. I guess you guys will have to stay tuned to find out!” For Keiran’s part, he called Benz “one of the all-time greats of porn” and promised her fans and his would both love this Brazzers pairing, declaring it “one of the most intense scenes I’ve ever performed in,” and confirming Benz’s adventurous performance ventures into new territory and will show fans “something they have never seen from Nikki Benz before.”
If those hints are hinting at what I think they’re hinting at, I have a feeling the esteemed ZZ might be right: if Kendra Lust as Kim Kardashian won’t #breaktheinternet then perhaps Nikki Benz’s new exploratory scene will.
I’m all out of candy and I’m through being nice to other people’s spawn, but I’m nonetheless a bit sad that Halloween has come and gone for another year. Whatever your celebratory habits may be, the immediately-post-Halloween period can bring you hurtling back to reality and leave you an ugly, depressed mess. In an effort to cheer up both myself and you, dear reader, I figured I’d try to keep the Halloween porn-party going with some scintillating tidbits that reveal how some very lucky Kink fans celebrated All Hallows’ this year.
In collaboration with theatrical circus troupe, Vau de Vire Society, Kink.com this year launched it’s very first immersive, interactive Halloween experience they call Hell in the Armory. Reporting for Vice, Anubha Momin attended the inaugural horror-fest and found things slightly more terrifying that arousing. Featuring such horrific scenes (all performed live by Kink and Vau de Vire members) as a woman’s abduction by a voracious werewolf, an asylum inmate ranting maniacally about her ghoulish child, an insane and blood-thirsty doctor operating (read: reconfiguring) his patient’s limbs, a vaudeville-style musical zombie trio, and a clown content to masturbate all night in a public phone booth.
By far the most outlandish event of the evening was, according to Momin, when she entered a well-stocked meat locker to find a bearded figure nailed to a wooden cross. Naked, bleeding, and intent on converting his audience to his particular faith, the bibles at his feet an obvious clue as to his identity. Suddenly, though, JC’s sermon from the cross was interrupted by a “maniacal butcher with a chainsaw” who barged in and headed straight for the soon-to-be-crucified-figure’s torso, plunging his blade deep into the dude’s chest and belly.
There’s no word yet as to whether Hell in the Armory will run again next year after 2014’s sold out season, or whether Kink and Vau de Vire Society will create an all-new attraction. Even if Halloween 2015 sees an empty spot on Kink’s calendar, you could always head over to the Armory, stand outside on a chilly San Francisco evening, and imagine the horrors unfolding inside a sexual hell of Kink’s making.
Brazzers isn’t the kind of porn company to embark on any new venture with cautious reserve, so with Halloween on the horizon it was expected that the ZZ would throw its ample weight behind a unique celebration. This year it’s American Whore Story.
American Whore Story is a multi-chapter epic from Brazzers that sees pornstars Katrina Jade, Bonnie Rotten, Skin Diamond and Julez Ventura tackle horrific, treacherous situations all in the name of sexual adventure. Ably abetted by everyone’s favorite expressively-eyebrowed male star Tommy Pistol, insanely-well-endowed Brit Danny D, and All-American boy-next-door Tyler Nixon (at least in the first three chapters), the carnally obsessed cast get to filling every available orifice regardless of the precarious situations surrounding them. In American Whore Story’s first chapter (published last week at ZZ Series), Katrina Jade flags down travelers Tyler and Danny and successfully distracts Tyler from his original goal: locating a secret grave-site that held a mass of partial human remains. When she turns down the motel room light to get some post-coital zees, Katrina is terrified (as she should be) by someone at her bedroom door.
Part two of this Brazzers Halloween horror series sees Danny continue his ghost hunt alone, roping motel employee Julez Ventura (who’s angling for a joint) into helping him locate his now-missing pal. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he stumbles upon a bound and hooded Skin Diamond, wrapped in leather and placed on an altar. Freeing her, Danny is greeted by Diamond with a hysterical laughing fit before Ventura joins them, masked and cowled, and seduces our hapless hero into a metaphysical threesome that leaves him disoriented and confused when they vanish into a puff of smoke after draining him. But who’s that mysterious dark-haired man seen in security footage walking the area with the missing Tyler and what does he want with our fellas?
Bonnie Rotten, arguably the most beloved hyper-sexual and endlessly elastic deviant in porn today, takes center stage for the third chapter of Brazzers’ American Whore Story (due for release October 21st) but whether she provides any answers or simply poses more questions remains to be seen. Joining forces with the apparent mastermind behind all this insanity (that’d be Mr. Pistol), Rotten takes a railing in all three holes. But what exactly is her involvement and what has happened to Katrina Jade and Tyler Nixon to leave Danny D so ill-at-ease? Hop along, little pumpkins, to Brazzers site ZZ Series to catch the unfolding of this particular pornographic horror story as can only be told by adult entertainment’s most notoriously epic studio.