Once again courting controversy and enraging anti-sex activists across the USA, Cosmopolitan, the women’s magazine with distribution in 110 countries around the world, decided “Have Hotter Sex This Summer” and “4 Scary Things Gynos Tell You and Why You Shouldn’t Wig Out” weren’t exciting enough stories and opted to recommend some porn to their overwhelmingly female readership, porn Cosmo felt would be a good fit for female viewers. Of course, reactionary anti-sex groups immediately called the publication itself an item of pornography and demanded it be removed from super market shelves or wrapped in a black mylar sleeve so as not to infect the eyes and minds of tots as their parents unload two cartfuls of carcinogenic soda-pop onto the checkout belt. In solidarity with the oppressed Cosmo staff and readership, Mr. Pink’s is staging this silent – as in written, not spoken – protest. (And also, you know, checking out Cosmo’s recs and seeing how they fare on the ol’ Pink-O-Meter).
Cosmo writer Jill Hamilton and graphic artist Lauren Ahn concocted their guide to female-friendly porn is the hopes of (according to Ahn’s rating meter graphic) turning women away from Ron Jeremy and his ilk and towards James Deen and the new generation of adventurous pornographers. After proffering free sites (and irresponsibly sidestepping the wealth of piracy and copyright problems plaguing the industry) and Tumblr feeds (erotic literature, female orgasm guides) of little use to anyone keen to avoid unbearably pretentious “literotica”, Hamilton brought us to sites more commonly identified as commercial pornography that she felt a good fit for Cosmo’s readers. The list, while not exactly throwing out a bevy of surprises, features some stellar adult sites that also come with Mr. Pink’s glowing recommendation.
Masturbation sites I Feel Myself and Beautiful Agony, both by Feck of The Netherlands, garnered raves for their incredible intimacy and drastically different approach to visual arousal, earning 4-out-of-5 each on the Jeremy-to-James hotness scale. Erika Lust of Lust Cinema’s viewer-submitted fantasy site, X-Confessions also caught the attention of Hamilton for its short films conceived by women. Beautiful cinematography an performers give a classy feel to X-Confessions, which also earns a 4 from Cosmo. Curiously, Kink is also noted as a must-see but given a non-rating of 1-5; “They’ll probably have what you want and other things you didn’t know you wanted may end up in your cart as well,” Hamilton writes. The clear winner, though – and this will hardly surprise anyone who’s discussed porn with a woman under 60 in the past five years – is Mr. Deen himself, his official site scoring a perfect 5 for giving this particular journalist the feeling of being “vicariously well-fucked,” and left with “a mysterious glow the rest of the day.”
James Deen, Cosmo’s cure for the sexually frustrated woman in your life… whether you like it or not.