Mythical Tri-Boob Spotted in FL

The Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi vehicle Total Recall was released in 1990 and remade in 2012 and both movies feature the brief appearance of a woman with three breasts, an alien creature hell bent on being fondled by a three-handed man (or maybe three one-handed men). Although Kaitlyn Leeb (the actress playing the role in director Les Wiseman’s 2012 remake) courted controversy when she wandered around San Diego Comic Con with her three fake tits almost completely exposed, it took a full 14 years for someone to take such strong inspiration from the three-boobed woman that she’d attach a third breast to her own chest, going through 50 plastic surgeons before finally finding one who’d agree to the absurd procedure. The kicker, though, is that Florida massage therapist Jasmine Tridevil claims to have opted for a third breast to make herself “unattractive to men”.

toal recall 3 tits

Clearly not thinking her body modification nor the motivation behind it through very thoroughly, Tridevil seems to have forgotten that heterosexual men will do almost anything for access to a pleasing pair of breasts. For three, why, they’d attempt to colonize Mars singlehandedly. How she hopes to shirk male attention is… well… they’re fake. Obviously.

Jasmine Tridevil

Aside from videos showing off her new rack in a tri-kini, answering questions from interested parties, and claiming that the unemployed are jobless by choice alone, Tridevil’s YouTube channel fails to provide any evidence to support her claims of authentic third-boobery. What does appear, though, are links to news items refuting her claims and the following interview with Tampa’s WTSP:

I suppose we’ll find out the truth when Tridevil’s self-produced reality show is eventually picked up by MTV (which she seems convinced will happen any day now). Episode six allegedly contains footage of the “star” walking along a beach in the same tri-kini she modeled in multiple YouTube videos as well as on WTSP News, when she told reporter Charles Billi she’s willing to do anything to become famous. While Tridevil’s new appendage may remain under suspicion, she’ll have her chance to tell the whole truth when (or better said, if) her show hits TV screens everywhere.

Boob Aid

So, untold buckets of ice-water have been dumped on the heads of celebrities and nobodies alike but there’s millions of people out there who still don’t know what the fuck an ALS even is! Clearly, that Lou Gehrig guy, sick though he may be, is going about raising awareness the absolute wrong way. Clearly he should be groping Japanese women’s breasts on television.

boob aid

Unofficially dubbed ‘Boob Aid’ by its fans and sticking by its motto “Making a social contribution while enjoying the erotic,” a charity event organized by Stop!AIDS and broadcast on Sky Perfect TV ran for 24 straight hours and featured little more than a dozen Japanese pornstars lining up and inviting fans to grope and fondle their breasts. The only catch, only those donating money to the campaign could cop a feel. Boob Aid aimed to raise funds and awareness for Japan’s AIDS sufferers and to promote safe sex practices aimed at prevention further transmission of the virus, which currently affects approximately 8,100 Japanese.

Adult star Rina Serina spoke to Tokyo Sports newspaper prior to the event, saying “I’m really looking forward to lots of people fondling my boobs. I never thought my boobs could contribute to society.” Iku Sakuragi, another performer baring her breasts for AIDS sufferers, added “It’s for charity. Squeeze them, donate money. Let’s be happy!” Can’t argue with that, can ya? In any case, the 2,000 attendees couldn’t argue with such a worthy cause and novel promotion, flocking to the event and laying their hands on twelve pairs of pornstar breasts.

See footage from last year’s event below and, please, before you try your hand at starting a charity fund-raising event or (God forbid) meme, do try to incorporate nudity to an excessive degree.

Dining with Dicks in Taiwan

Of the many reasons to visit Taiwan – suncake pastries and incredible hot pot; more than 15,000 glorious temples; the incredible Taroko National Park – eating a bowl of rice in the shape of a cock ‘n’ balls probably wasn’t high on your list. Thanks to a recent addition to Taiwan’s theme restaurant industry, though, that’s all about to change.

Funny Sex, located in Lingya District in Taiwan’s second largest city, Khaosiung, caters to a clientele more sexually liberated than your average diner and does so with a touch of the absurd. From the outside, it appears a restaurant like any other, but once you’ve ascended the drab stairway and taken a seat, the erotic elements start to make themselves known. Menus offer informative tidbits about the sex habits and genital measurements of different countries, as well as a plethora of sexually charged dishes. As detailed by Jamie Fullerton of Munchies, the dishes on Funny Sex’s menu aren’t necessarily inspired by sex, but their presentation most certainly is. Take a look at this chocolate pudding:
chocolate pudding penis

And this soup bowl:

At Funny Sex, it seems everything edible is penis shaped or housed in a firm (perhaps too firm) pair of breasts. And if the food doesn’t interest you all that much, there’s giant wooden phalluses to ride, blow-up dolls in bondage restraints, and real dolls that can accompany lone diners. Truly, Taiwan’s Funny Sex restaurant is doing the lord’s satan’s Dionysus’s work.