Missy's Sex Advice | Mr. Pink's Blog

Choosey With Her Cherry

Dear Missy Pink;

I’m a 30 year old male, dating a woman 27 years old. We’ve been seeing one another for nearly a year, things are serious between us, but not to “that” point of either of us discussing a commitment yet. She is a great lady, funny, independent, intelligent, kind, and…..still a virgin. She apparently promised herself when a teenager that she wouldn’t have intercourse until she gets married. I respect her discretion, but at the same time, I am trying hard to be faithful, however, the cold showers and late night masturbation sessions are getting a bit tiresome. I don’t want to break up with her, but I do want to be in her!

Choosey With Her Cherry

Dear Choosey;

First of all, I want to give kudos to your female friend for sticking to her morals and self induced promises. Even in your swollen testicle state of mind, I’m sure you respect her for keeping herself pure, and you realize this wasn’t an easy choice for her to make and I’m sure very difficult to stick to.

The fact you’ve hung in there for this long tells me you do indeed care about her as a person, and I’m sure she is very appreciative of that fact as well. Saying this tongue in cheek of course, many men prefer to marry a virgin, there’s less criticism involved. *Smile*

Being a woman myself, I can understand the thought process, after all, your virginity is something that can only be given once, and there are a million stories in the naked city of females that regret the way their “first time” played out, and your girlfriend doesn’t want to make that a million and one stories.

You didn’t say how far things have gone between the two of you, but, allow me to interject this thought. Don’t push her, she’s made up her mind and kept her legs crossed for a reason. You’ve offered nice adjectives to describe her, telling me you’ve seen her qualities other than the sexual ones and that has kept you rounding the bases for nearly a year before having all your balls in a scoring position. You can be intimate without intercourse, and for a woman, it’s the foreplay and the romance that makes the act special. Don’t go into it with the hopes that you’ll bring those embers into a full-fledge inferno, to a point where she won’t turn back, she’ll just regret the act and hold it against you in the end.

Let her know you respect her wishes, and also let her know you’re very physically attracted to her, and you’re in no rush to plunge through her hymen for the sake of putting a notch in your head-board. You can each achieve orgasm without penetration, through mutual masturbation, and oral sex, keeping her cherry intact and also the box it came in. Be close, be satisfying, but, also be the man you seem to be, patient and understanding. Who knows, maybe you will walk down the aisle, and when it’s time for the honeymoon, you’ll know you’re going where no man has gone before. Build your friendship, the strongest foundation, and let the budding happen in areas besides just within your blue jeans. Treat her like a lady, even the most proper ones will enjoy the wetness you can create by a soft touch or the right oral approach to those delicate pink folds.

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Dampness Needed

Dear Missy Pink,

My wife and I are both in our early 50’s, we’ve been married since shortly out of college. We’ve always been very physically attracted to one another, but it seems the last few years our sexual encounters have dropped to us going months at a time without physical contact. When we do share romantic moments, I’ve noticed we now have to use an artificial lubricant, that’s something we’ve never done before. I’m beginning to think I don’t excite her anymore, and I don’t want her having an affair.

Dampness Needed

Dear Dampness;

I can understand why your mind would begin roaming to the fear of not being attractive and thinking your wife may begin looking elsewhere, it’s human nature, but, I really don’t think it’s a concern that’s backed up by what the Mrs. is missing.

It sounds as if you and your wife have been together for a long time, you know her well, as she does you, but, there is also that nasty interference of, you’re a man, she’s a woman. As a woman, hormonal changes can create all types of, “This has never happened before” scenarios. Maybe she doesn’t feel pretty within herself, so she may not feel as though she’s attractive to you, hence, the cause for large spans of time between the bedroom boner sessions, as for her moisture not being as abundant as it once was, that too is definitely a change of life that leaves a woman feeling high and dry.

Make the lubricant your friend, don’t fear it, smear it! As you get older, do what it takes to keep those erotic moments flowing. If you’d rather go for the more natural approach, spend a little extra time between her thighs with oral sex pleasures, there’s nothing like good old fashioned spit to dampen the clit, and all of those areas between! Let her know she’s still beautiful, appealing and attractive to you, make her feel womanly and she’ll allow her feminine charms to ring loudly again. Be bold, kiss her neck, hold her hand, rub her breast when she’s doing the dishes, lift her skirt and slide your hand up her thighs, be playful and be an exhibitionist, letting her view your erection tells her she does indeed still turn you on!

Don’t let Father Time step all over your sex life, just lend Mother Nature a hand where needed and you may find yourself hitting those cool sheets multiple times a week!

Left High and Dry

Dear Missy Pink,

Our daughter just moved out of the house for college, my wife is suffering from the empty nest syndrome, as well as no sex drive! I have wined and dined her, only to be told that she’s 40 years old now, those days of hot wild sex are a thing of the past. I’m not ready to put it behind me yet, maybe a woman’s point of view can help me over this horny hurdle?
Left High and Dry

Dear Dry;
Well, I have good news and not so good news for you, depending on how you look at it. The positive being, you’re not the only man that suffers from a lack of lust in the bedroom over this very issue, and the more negative angle stems from the fact it may take some work on your part to help her overcome….to cum.

Many times women basically leave their life behind as they bring a family into the world, they become a cook, housekeeper, doctor, financial wizard, and everything but a youthful, seductive woman. The causes soon take over and then suddenly when everyone is grown and gone, they don’t know what to do with themselves, they feel old and will act accordingly.

Your job, should you choose to accept it, bring back that wild tigress that slid across your sheets many years ago, with thighs open and eyes twinkling at the prospect of hot, hardcore sex with you. Sometimes marriage can put a damper on the excitement, suddenly you’re in bed with a relative. Take plenty of time with foreplay, not just the touching of her body, but the stroking of her mind as well. Tell her how much she turns you on, bring her flowers, share pillow talk, show her the advantages of having the house all to yourselves, make her realize you are turned on by being married to a MILF.

Make your moans loud, let actions speak louder than words. When the lights go off, turn the charm on. Hold back on your own masculine desires until she experiences multiple orgasms, she will indeed feel like not just A woman, but YOUR woman again, and she will be eager to feel you penetrating the area that will join your bodies and hearts.

Oh, and as a gentlemanly gesture, you be the one to get up and get a warm washcloth, bring it to her and then slide it up the inside of her thighs slowly…who knows, the terrycloth temptation may have her in the mood for round 2!

Living In The Past

Dear Missy Pink,

I have been beating myself up for months and I need some advice on how wrong I’m being, or if I’m just normal. If I sound desperate, it’s because I am.

I was in a relationship with a man for nearly 5 years, with every day of it being what I’d always hoped for. We were best friends, our sex life was more than amazing. There were times when the smallest thing would turn one of us, or both of us on, and we couldn’t even wait to get back to our apartment, we would find an old dirty road, or even in the parking lot of a grocery store, not caring who might be the voyeur to our exhibitionist act, all we knew was, we wanted one another. Yes, I thought life for me at that point was perfect.

Long story short, his parents didn’t think I was the proper girl for him. They were a very wealthy, well-to-do family, and since I didn’t come from money, they wanted more for him. The pressure they put on our relationship finally won out, and we parted ways. I could say it was mutual, but, actually it was the fact my self esteem had been beaten down, and I could see the stress on his face every day, which eventually caused arguments between us over the smallest things, but they felt large at the time. Of course he would talk to his Mom each fight we had, wanting advice, and she always told him, “Honey, you could do so much better.” So, our relationship ended.

I was hurt, crushed, angry, a lot of different emotions, which included determined. I had to prove to myself that I was just as good as anyone else, and I would show him, I wouldn’t be just sitting at home, eating cookie dough and watching sappy love movies on TV while going through the Kleenex’s.

The first date I had, I made the most of it, a few too many drinks, a little more flirtation than I would normally show, yes, I was convincing the world and myself that I would be a treasure for any man. I ended up sleeping with him. We stayed together, I dated no one else, I was learning how to be in another relationship that might have a chance, I also learned I was pregnant. We were both happy and planned the wedding quickly. Things were good, even pregnancy sex was fun with him and we built a happy home.

Fast forward to 6 months ago, I was in the local mall shopping and bumped carts with another person, I looked up as I apologized and there was my ex. I honestly think my heart stopped and I don’t remember breathing. I was interrupted by the sound of my own voice saying, “Hello,” and he responded in like. We exchanged casual conversation for a couple of minutes and then went our separate ways.

My problem now is I cannot get him out of my mind. When my husband makes love to me, it’s my ex boyfriends hands I feel, it’s his lips I’m kissing, he’s the one fondling my large breasts and making me wetter than I’ve ever been. As long as I keep my eyes closed, I can keep the fantasy alive, which means multiple orgasms during sex, but afterwards, a feeling of guilt and disappointment in myself. How wrong am I?

Living In The Past

Dear Living;

I’m sure you’ve always heard the saying that fantasies are healthy, and I believe that to be true, but like anything that’s good for you, there comes a point when it begins to poison the mind and body. I think it would be safe to say that a large population of those having sex allow their minds to drift to a past lover, or even a faceless stranger, to gain that extra bit of excitement to put them over the edge, it’s all in the name of a good old fashion orgasm.

From your detailed explanation, it sounds like your ex may have been your first true love, and granted, those memories and desires are definitely hard to shake. We don’t want to forget, and we shouldn’t, after all, it’s the past that leads us to the present, like a chain reaction. If you hadn’t broken up with him and been in the frame of mind you were, you may never have met your husband or have the wonderful family that you do, so, there is a reason for things that transpire.

It sounds to me as if your heart is overriding your head at this point, and, if it’s been going on for 6 months now, not lessening in intensity, then I think you need to do some serious soul searching, it’s only fair to yourself, your husband, your marriage and family. It seems things have been good between yourself and your husband, no issues to speak of, only those you haven’t spoken of, and that is the lust you still feel for your ex.

Maybe you can start setting some mental boundaries for yourself, such as, allow yourself a little indulgence sexually once a week, during a solo masturbation session, let your mind wander where it will, but use it as a weaning process. When the lights go off and the erection of your husband comes out, focus on him, experience what he does that makes you feel like a woman, what makes your panties wet and your nipples hard. It’s apparent you love him, now you just have to fall back in lust with him. Get a babysitter on Saturday night, and have a date with your spouse. Find a good movie that’s playing, sit in the back row, and reach a little deep into that buttered popcorn bucket, fondle your mate in the darkness of the theatre, lift your skirt a bit to flash more thigh, tease him and make him feel like he’s the only man in the world you want to give your womanly desires to, but be sure you also feel that he’s the only man for you as well.

If you find yourself unable to direct your passion and need back to the man your married to, and you’re still giving more of yourself to the fantasy of your ex, then maybe it’s time you talk to your husband, let him be your friend now, but be sure you make it clear that you do love him and you wanted to be honest. If you’re not comfortable in sharing that with him yet, maybe afraid he won’t be able to perform in bed after hearing you’re only having a climax thinking of what use to be, then by all means, seek some professional advice. There are a lot of ways to put the spark back to those dying embers, and before you know it, the new fires will be extinguishing your old flame!