Mr. Skin’s 2016 Guide to Nudes

Mr. Skin

For many, 2016 has been one disaster after another. Cultural icons seemed to kick the bucket en masse, taking away many shining lights of our entertainment-addicted lives. Mr. Skin, intrepid pointer-out of celebrity nudity, once just female but now also male, takes to his blog roll around this time every year to recap the best and most beautiful appearances of naked female celebrity skin on the small screen. And, thankfully, this year delivered some treats that could help reinvigorate your interest in 2017.

Mr. Skin’s 2016 Top Ten sees notable names and almost-complete unknowns share list space on shows for HBO, Netflix, Starz, and other networks, confirming that TV is indeed getting more raunchy and risqué with every passing season. Still need proof to get you back on the sofa? How about these ten skin-baring turns from Hollywood sex symbols both legend and debutante?

Chelsea Handler is rarely shy about baring her naked body and this season of Chelsea was no different, seeing the host take a topless dip in a Russian bath house. Lina Esco of Audience Network’s MMA drama Kingdom took the ninth spot thanks to her wild and numerous sex scenes. Ruby Modine, daughter of actor Matthew, followed in her dad’s nude-friendly footsteps in Shameless for Showtime, which also saw Sasha Alexander and Sherilyn Feen ditch their duds. Cinemax’s original series Quarry showcased Jodi Balfour in what seemed like an abundance of sex scenes baring her breasts and butt. Ashley Green of detective drama Rogue got naked alongside Thandie Newton and Kira Clavell, earning her a spot at #6.

Game of Thrones is well known for its gritty violence and copious sexual activity, some of which involved Eline Powell and her perfect pair of bared breasts. Arguably the most famous name on Mr. Skin’s 2016 list, Olivia Wilde stepped from her costumes in HBO’s massively ill-advised music industry drama Vinyl, at least giving viewers a strong reason to keep tuning in. The top three places on the list went not to individual actresses but to the shows that host them: HBO’s Westworld remake saw plenty of onscreen flesh from Evan Rachel Wood, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, and Thandie Newton (again); Joe Swanberg’s indie drama Easy delivered more sex than many erotic movies, bringing the bods of Malin Akerman, Kate Micucci, Elizabeth Reaser, Aislin Derbez, and Emily Ratajkowski to the screen. Somewhat predictably topping the list is a show that, had it not featured plenty of nudity and blatant fucking, would have gone unwatched by millions (more). The Girlfriend Experience, based on the Steven Soderbergh movie starring Sasha Grey, served up many salacious moments starring Riley Keough (Elvis’s granddaughter!) and a handful of awesome indie actresses.

For the full rundown on who placed where and why, check out Mr. Skin’s Podcast. And, hey, while you’re there, why not consider a membership to the greatest celebrity skin venture ever embarked upon?

Mr. Skin review

Brazzers Goes Parody Mad

Brazzers porn parodies

Brazzers, a porn studio long known for its colorful, irreverent approach to sex, is also no stranger to the porn parody, now a staple of most mainstream porn viewing habits. Recently, though, “The ZZ” has been outdoing itself when it comes to pop-culture homages, lampoon, tributes, and outright parodies, so I thought we’d take a look at what’s been causing Brazzers-fans to chuckle through their fap sessions of late.

So far 2016 has seen the X-Men, Spider-Man, Star Wars, World War Z, and Games of Thrones properties among those getting the hardcore ZZ treatment. Where the porn parodies of the 80s and 90s were largely low-budget affairs, Brazzers joins the likes of Axel Braun in throwing money at their parodies to bring fans explosive sex as well as literal explosions and other FX. Storm of Kings takes Game of Thrones and recasts it with slightly fewer dragons and vastly more whores (Peta Jensen, Aletta Ocean, Anissa Kate, and underutilized Aruba Jasmine starring) across four episodes.

XXX-Men didn’t garner more than two scenes, but they were well worth stopping by Pornstars Like it Big for back in late May. Nicole Aniston donned the blue bodypaint and red hair to play Mystique to be tag-teamed by Wolverine (Charles Dera) and Cyclops (Xander Corvus) after first we saw Patty Michova’s Psylocke undeniably attracted to Danny D’s Magneto dick. That might seem like a light treatment by ZZ, but there’s bound to be more X-Men movies ahead to provide even more ultimate cosplay porn.

Brazzers stuck with Marvel Comics, their clear favorite, for a while, bringing The Cat’s Meow to Brazzers Extra also in late May. Two Brazzers newcomers were introduced as Peter Parker/Spider-Man and his nemesis/fuck-buddy The Black Cat. Diminutive but big dicked Spanish 22-year-old Jodri El Niño Polla and Austrian Mila Milan filled the roles and costumes very nicely.

Apparently finding it hard to stay away from superheroes and science-fiction, Brazzers also ran Star Wars and World War Z through their parodical mash-up machine, the later being adding to over many months and now serving up six episodes starring Phoenix Marie, Peta Jensen, Tommy Gunn, and Ramon Nomar in the latest installment from April of this year. Timed to coincide with the release of The Force Awakens, Brazzers’ latest Star Wars parody was hardly the first to come from the porn world, but it featured Abby Cross as “Princess Lay” (slave outfit an all) and housecock Danny D as Boba Fuck, making it just as hard to resist as “TFA” was to the world at large.

Expert costuming and creative, colorful photography has really guided these more recent Brazzers parodies to all-new levels of faithful homage while mixing in that ol’ Brazzers standard style of colorful, hyperactive hardcore. We can only wonder what’s next on the agenda. Although by the looks of the upcoming Brazzers release schedule, this studio’s future already looks busy-as-hell. How the ZZ creative crew will find time to hit the multiplex is beyond me!

The Interview Heads to Hustler

the interview

Now that Sony Pictures has cancelled all release plans for the controversial Seth Rogen, James Franco comedy The Interview, prospective fans are wondering if the film will find another life after the nightmare of its proposed theatrical release. North Korean supreme leader, King Jong Un has denied his government had connection to an invasive hack that brought Sony Pictures to its digital knees, a connection strongly suggested by media pundits. Americans are rightfully concerned that Sony’s bowing to the wishes of a cyber-terrorist group, no matter how dubious their origins, sets a precedent for erasing our hard-won freedom to laugh at whatever the fuck we want. And that, dear reader, is something Larry Flynt of Hustler Magazine holds very, very dear.

Telling the Hollywood Reporter that he’d “spent a lifetime fighting for the First Amendment,” and declaring that “no foreign dictator is going to take away [his] right to free speech,” Flynt announced This Ain’t The Interview XXX, his company’s parody version of the doomed political comedy. “If Kim Jong Un and his henchmen were upset before, wait till they see the movie we’re going to make.”

And, whaddya know, it appears President Obama might be right on Flynt’s side this time: “We cannot have a society in which some dictators someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States because if somebody is able to intimidate us out of releasing a satirical movie, imagine what they start doing once they see a documentary that they don’t like or news reports that they don’t like. That’s not who we are. That’s not what America is about.”

No, he’s right. America’s about tits. Lots and lots of tits. (And maybe some heavy duty ass, too!)