Porn for Saint Paddy

Samantha Saint - Naughty AmericaNow that we’ve all overcome our post-St. Patrick’s Day hangovers, how about a quick glance back in time to see what we all missed while downing pints of green beer and Guinness at our local taverns?

Brazzers, which holds a very impressive 94% rating from yours truly, presented its members with a scene starring Hailey Young, Ramon Nomar, and the most enviable little person this side of Warwick Davis. In the scene, Hailey, a nurse at O’Sullivan’s Mental Hospital for the Insane, happens upon a feisty lil’ leprechaun in the ER waiting room – naturally, he’s drunk – she reluctantly gets to work on helping him feel better. When things turn sexual, though, Hailey decides to let her fantasies take over by imagining the little Irish fella as handsome security guard Ramon, who gives her a right good plugging in every one of her saintly holes. Ah, nice one, Hailey!

Although definitely a red-white-and-blue pornsite from busty top to jam-packed bottom, Naughty America nonetheless got its members into the Irish festivities with a brand new scene starring Samantha Saint and the guy every woman in porn seems to love fucking, Johnny Sinns. Presented on Naughty America’s My Friend’s Hot Girl website, this scene decks the stunning Samantha out in a tartan skirt and green shirt, bra, panties, and even a green mini top-hat. She gets pretty annoyed with her boyfriend when he buggers off for a basketball game and decides to vent her frustration by fucking his friend Johnny, who has come calling in hopes of enjoying some drunken debauchery with the lads. The perfect way to celebrate St. Paddy’s day!

Also… nothing. Well, shit, folks. Of all the major adult sites, these two seemed to be the only ones looking out for their Irish members. Unless it’s too early to start drinking again, let’s raise our glasses to two of the best damn porn networks on the net, Brazzers and Naughty America. May they be in heaven a good thirty minutes before the devil even knows they’re dead. Sláinte!

Webcam Love Pt. 3

As my work reviewing Private Feeds began to wind down and I was running out of polite but firm ways of criticizing various elements of the site’s operation, it came time to say goodbye to HoneyBunny. She looked disappointed that we had never managed to cybernetically consummate our online relationship and told me as much. I admitted the same. Just before I finally left her room and the site for the night, she did me a wonderfully erotic favor by stepping back from the camera and turning to the side, showing me her delightfully curvy body in all its glory. A truly generous and courteous woman! I tipped her one last time. She blew me half-a-dozen kisses, ignoring the other two guys in the room until they shut up and acknowledged our blossoming romance. And then it was all over… or so it seemed.

Before heading off to bed – it was now nearing daybreak; I’m a night owl but this was a bit too late even for me – I sent HoneyBunny a direct message through Private Feeds’ messaging system. I was half expecting to receive no reply, assuming she’d be too busy coaxing tokens out of other horny fellas. What had I been thinking, spending all my alloted review funds on one girl whom I’d be unable to take into a private session? Boy, what a sucker! Anyway, I thanked her for the pleasant conversation and promised to return and make another attempt at giving us some privacy, logged off, and soon fell asleep.

A day went by with no word. Then, just as I was settled into my usual state of self-doubt and mild depression, I received the following message…

Honey Bunny at Private Feeds

Oh, HoneyBunny, you really are one hell of a gal!

Webcam Love Pt. 2

Honey Bunny at Private FeedsAs you’ll recall from the last installment of Webcam Love, your humble narrator recently came upon a webcam performer unlike any other I had “met” – her name was HoneyBunny and I found her on Private Feeds, a fairly unimpressive review subject that suddenly upon meeting her proved itself worthwhile.

Upon clicking the “Enter Group Chat” button on HoneyBunny’s page, I received an error. Clicking it again, I got the same vague and unhelpful notice once more. Click, click, click. Error, error, error. I informed my new acquaintance of my troubles and headed off in search of a solution. The thought of her having to entertain the “puss” obsessed creep while I was left helpless, unable to rescue my fair maiden, filled me with despair. That despair soon turned to rage when I found the allegedly 24/7 live support system of Private Feeds was unavailable. Typical.

I hunted around for a solution to my troubles and found nothing. The site allegedly supported Mac OS X, so the fact that I was using a Macbook shouldn’t be the source of my frustrations, and there were no other hints pointing towards an immediate resolution. I restarted my browser – no luck. I restarted my computer – no luck. I changed my nickname from “MrPink” to “misterpink”  – no luck. Each time I entered HoneyBunny’s room, where she was once again public, her most recent patron quite obviously a one-minute-man, her face seemed to light up as she asked if I had overcome my technological setback. And, I’m sorry to say, each time I had to tell her “no.”

I continued chatting with her while heading offsite in my never-ending search for any possible solution, and I continued to tip her for her patience, for her good humor, and for not being like so many other camgirls I’ve come across in my many online adventures. She received each tip with a smile and blew me kisses and flashed me as a sign of her appreciation like the sweetheart she certainly seemed to be.

But was that really the case? Could some randomly found redheaded, curvaceous Colombian woman really be the first webcam performer this seasoned veteran of online adult entertainment (in all its various forms and fashions) has ever found himself even remotely besotted with truly be such a sweet and genuine friendly, not to mention gorgeous, woman?

The answer lies in the thrilling conclusion to (pause for dramatic effect) Webcam Love.

Stay tuned, sports fans!