A Meagre Thanksgiving Feast

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Come the third Thursday in November, Americans flock to their Interstate freeways and try not to rear-end anyone on their travels to see family, binge on heavy fried foods, and forego conversation for television. Just like the holiday immediately preceding it, though, Halloween, Thanksgiving often sees the porn world get all gussied up in ridiculous costumes, conjure up absurd themes for their shoots, and generally laugh at the way we all bow to tradition even when we’re fucking on-camera for a living.

Over at Brazzers….. there’s nothing. Naughty America also has nothing and nether does Bang Bros, Reality Kings, Mofos, or Porn Pros. In fact, there’s such a dearth of Thanksgiving-themed porn scenes this year I figured most producers had completely given up on this annual event.

Team Skeet came to the rescue via its Teen Curves site, presenting Lola Foxx in Poke This Pocahontas. Dressing up as the legendary Virginian Indian, Ms. Foxx is soon pawed and prodded by Brick Danger (who hasn’t even bothered to dress as John Smith) in a solid but rather uninspired hardcore scene.

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Teen Fidelity takes this cake this year with Native Passion, a flagrantly politically incorrect re-imagining of the very first Thanksgiving dinner. New brunette starlet Karlee Grey stars as a bonnet-wearing pilgrim confronted by Ryan Madison in his most purposefully offensive “native” regalia. Unhappy with the picnic table loaded with food, Chief Tri-Cum ensnares himself a captive gal and sets about introducing her to Native American sexuality. (This Teen Fidelity scene doesn’t yet have a preview page, but the trailer can be viewed here at Mr. Pink’s Blog.)

 

Moms in Control at Brazzers

Everyone knows Brazzers can’t sit still. Whether introducing a pay-by-gift-card system, buying their way into Madison Ivy’s anus, or launching software that gives you immediate access to any act occurring at any moment in a given Brazzers scene, the infamous ZZ always seems to be pushing ahead and reaching for something greater. So, you knew of course that porn’s biggest online vendor would tackle the whole mother-fucking thing in a whole new way, what with pseudo-incest porn being all the rage these days. Introducing Moms In Control.

moms in control

Pitting a teenage or young adult couple against the girlfriend’s conspiratorial, conniving step-mother, Moms In Control sees young girls learn a thing or two from her step-mom about properly taking care of her man. Of course, with the “moms” played by Dana Vespoli, Bianca Breeze, Syren De Mer and Codi Bryant, you can be sure there’ll be plenty of stroking, sucking, and sharing of cock in each episode. Given the often tempestuous and competitive relationships between two gorgeous women living in the same house, the sexual tension of Moms In Control scenes is incredibly high and often sees the girlfriend not-so-politely requesting her mom stop blowing her boyfriend. Mom, heeding the call to parenting, simply invites her step-daughter to take part and learn a few tricks to ensure her guy’s doodle doesn’t start straying. While not quite as borderline-creepy as many incest-themed pornos around these days, Moms In Control mixes in a bit of female domination and cock-sharing for a thoroughly inspiring good time. In fact, Moms In Control is so hot it’ll make all of you with no chance of becoming some babe’s step-son regret your parents’ rock-solid relationship of 40-something years.

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Moms In Control added a slew of scenes when it went live a few weeks back, but now updates are flowing in steadily and bringing a dynamic new trio to your screen; Mia Malkova, Rebecca Moore, and Ryan Rider, anyone? Or perhaps Eva Notty, Janice Griffith and Jessy Jones will have your libido roaring. There’s a dozen scenes currently available, in 720p and 1080p HD of course, and more hitting the Moms In Control homepage all the time. (Just don’t tell your girlfriend’s dad about it no matter how much of a bro he seems. Trust me on this one.)

 

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Hustler

hustler

We all owe Larry Flynt big time. Without the Hustler head honcho’s relentless protection of the civil liberties of the American public, we’d still be staring at well-dressed women and marveling at their ankles! Thanks to Flynt’s Hustler empire we’ve been granted visual access to some incredibly lustful women in the pages of his magazines and now online at Hustler.com. Thanks should also be extended to Mr. Pink’s, though, for without the bargain hunting skills of our intrepid deal scouts, we’d never be able to offer you the Hustler deal of the decade!

Hustler isn’t a lone hardcore site, not by any stretch of the imagination. It’s a network of 19 websites and usually costs $34.95-a-month. For good reason, too, since membership opens the doors to Hustler’s Taboo, Barely Legal, and Hustler HD sites, as well as VCA Classics (golden age porn), Anal Hookers, Asian Fever, Beaver Hunt, Bossy MILFs, Busty Beauties, Daddy Gets Lucky (age-play), Hometown Girls and Hottie Moms (two sites with “amateur” babes), Hustlaz (black and interracial), Hustler’s Lesbians, Hustler’s College Girls, Muchas Latinas, Scary Big Dicks, Too Many Trannies, and the company’s now-notorious Hustler’s Parodies movies. That’s a huge variety of smut by anyone’s standards and with most of it hitting that high Hustler quality benchmark, it’s one well worth a little cyber-cash on. (Although the heavy presence of non-exclusive, non-Hustler works is a bit of a let down.)


THE MATH:
Mr. Pink’s discount brings the normal $34.95 monthly membership price down to only $19.95, you’re already saving close to half, to look at it another way, getting everything at twice the value! Each of the 19 Hustler websites come out to less than $1.05 with this deal. DVDs, of which there are 2,075, can be had for less than 1¢ each, while individual scenes, currently amounting to 10,076, end up costing an absolute pittance, only a fraction of a cent, just .19¢!

Oh, and there’s 215 issues of Hustler, Barely Legal, and Taboo magazines digitized to for your online reading pleasure, too, if that helps seal the deal. And to celebrate Black Friday, you can now join Hustler for only $14.95 now through December 3rd when you sign up through Mr. Pink’s special Hustler Holiday promotion link. Thanks, Larry!