A for Anal, L for London

L for LondonHot on the heels of Asa Akira’s first double-anal scene in Elegant Angel’s Asa Akira is Insatiable 2, another fan-favorite Asian-American pornstar is giving up her rear passage, this time losing her onscreen anal virginity in the process. London Keyes, the 22-year-old from Seattle has been active since 2008 but had held out for years, resisting fans request for a hardcore boy/girl anal scene. L for London, directed by Jonni Darkko and now available online and in stores from Evil Angel, offers these fans what they’ve been waiting for. London’s first self-led feature release, L for London presents the tattooed, pierced stunner and her incredible body in nine scenes of hardcore fuck action, and the first co-stars Asa Akira herself. Initially the duo keep it sapphic with Asa taking her time stretching London’s ass with a huge black double-dong and giving her hole a tongue bath in preparation for what’s to come: Manuel Ferrara. Known for his assfucking talents, good ol’ Manny services both London and Asa beautifully, making London’s first anal scene a roaring success that simply must be seen in the 1080p High Definition format Evil Angel’s website exclusively provides.

Although such a rousing start to L for London is tough to beat, the thick-bodied beauty gives it a shot anyway. Following her anal debut with a three-guy blowbang, an interracial threesome, an anal masturbation scene aided by her director, her first pairing with the immense talent of Lexington Steele, and even bigger blowbang, a strap-on scene with Jayden Jaymes, and a double blowjob accompanied by Mia Lelani before ending on a fantastic note with a very, very sloppy deepthroat and titty-fucking scene with Darkko, complete with plenty of juicy foot-play and great POV close-ups of London’s gorgeous natural rack, there couldn’t possibly be a better way for fans of this incomparable Asian slut to enjoy her blistering sexuality.

L for London is now available in stores and online at Jonni Darkko XXX, Evil Angel and Videobox. Although the latter site is the only one of the two to offer every scene, those with Evil Angel and Jonni Darkko XXX memberships – which can be had for just $14.95 thanks to Mr. Pink’s discount – will have one new scene added each week until mid-November and, as they’re exclusively available in stunning 720p and 1080p HD resolutions from Evil Angel, all London Keyes fans should rush on over and see just how far their favorite young pornstar has come. I know I’m impressed!

The Pineapple Express Medicine Show

Pineapple ExpressPlenty of guys have been in a near-win situation only to have it cut short by their girl protesting “But it tastes like egg white and seawater!” Refusing to swallow or even taste semen isn’t that uncommon amongst sexually active women and the bitterness is often the cause of their reluctance. But wouldn’t all your mouth-fucking dreams come true if your cum tasted sweet and delicious? It has been said that drinking a few liters of pineapple juice would do the trick, but the folks at Marco Labs Inc. have come up with a solution that won’t have you pissing fragrantly for days on end, and better yet, they’ve bottled it and given it a catchy slogan: Take the Funk Out of Spunk!

Pineapple Express, a new dietary supplement intended to, simply put, make your cum taste better, was launched by Marco Labs to rousing reception at July’s AVN Novelty Expo in Pasadena California and is now on the verge of entering a brick and mortar retail space near you. So, what’s the deal and how does it work?

Packed into each Pineapple Express pill is “a mixture of protein-digesting enzymes” called proteolytic enzymes or proteases: Stem bromelain and Fruit bromelain (extracts from the plant family Bromeliaceae, of which the pineapple is one member). Allegedly, if a user were to take one pill twice a day with food, effects should be noticeable in a little as two weeks. While the company’s FAQ admits “Pineapple Express doesn’t claim to make your cum taste sweet,” and that it’s purpose is instead to remove bitterness, there are other ways to produce that same effect. Cutting down on caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, red meat, and spicy food can decrease the unpleasantness your partner might experience when you blow in her mouth. But then, bro, without such unhealthy masculine delights as beer and BBQ, where would our manhood be, huh?

The Great Canadian Litigant

Having appeared on The Great Canadian Male, a site that purports to be “Where Canadian boys go gay!”, adult performer Tony Marcu (a.k.a. “Craig”) intended to return with his wife and son to his native Romania and start the next big adult e-commerce business. But after the Royal Canadian Mounted Police took ten months longer than promised to produce the background check required by Marcu, a dual-citizen of both countries, he’s now suing the Canadian government to the tune of $100 million. He says Romanian police produced his crystal clear background check for that country in two days.

Now back in Canada and living without his wife and son in a rooming house in Toronto, Marcu uses the local library’s free Internet access to search for porn industry jobs online. Unemployed and surviving on welfare, he’s determined to have his day in court and prove that bureaucratic negligence resulted in him losing his savings and loans that were to help him set up what he claims would have been a business with monthly revenue in the area of $34 million. And what would this business do exactly? Marcu told the Toronto Sun his company would have concerned itself with “import[ing] sex health products from Canada, sex toys and ice wine, along with the production of adult films, sales and erotic massage services.” Ice wine, really?

I suppose they can’t all be Peter North, eh?