Phil Varone Returns to Rock

Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee dabbled in porn and so did Snoop Dogg, Ice-T, and Evan Seinfeld of hardcore legends Biohazard. Hell, Seinfeld even adopted the nom de porn ‘Spyder Jonez’ after marrying Tera Patrick and shooting a whole bunch of smut together. Recently putting Seinfeld’s nepotistic endeavors to shame, though, has been former Saigon Kick drummer Phil Varone, who just days ago announced his decision to ditch porn for the pure unadulterated carnal thrust of rock and roll!

Phil Varone Twitter

A noted lothario and admitted swinger, Varone started documenting his on-the-road exploits in an official capacity with the 2011 Vivid Video release of ‘Phil Varone’s Secret Sex Stash,’ a “celebrity sex tape” that merely set the scene for Varone’s futher ventures into the world of porn production. In 2014 Varone even managed to win an AVN Award, Best Amateur Release for ‘100% Real Swingers: Meet the Rileys,’ just one title in a series that saw him expose the seedy partner-sharing underbelly of America as well as the secret swinging lifestyle of then porno it-girl Siri. Varone also entered the erotic novelties game with Dr. Philgood, a dildo molded from his own penis by Cal Exotics that even bares the penile piercing the drummer has slid into the snatches of groupies, swingers, amateur harlots, and pornstars like Siri but will now keep off-screen.

Varone’s keeping his exact reasons for leaving porn to himself, simply telling fans that he encountered enough douchebaggery in the industry to convince him drumming for hard rock bands is more his thing. Varone’s also retiring his talent agency, The V Agency, telling media “I have always offered my talent a very high level of personalized service, but returning to music and my other projects going on have made this very hard.” (Check out Phil’s Facebook page for more, dirtier revelations or, if you’re patient, you can order the man’s memoir, Un-Philtered or wait for his next, apparently being worked on as we speak.

Look, Phil, no hard feelings but if you’re out of porn I’ll also have to move on and find another stereotypical hard rocker through which to vicariously live my dreams of banging groupies, doing coke off of brand-new shiny hi-hats, and trying some grannies on for size (although that last part might’ve been a Phil Varone specialty).

So, paging Mr. Joshua Todd of Buckcherry…. Josh Todd of Buckcherry, would you please make some porno?

Kid Rock Subpoenaed for Glass Dildo in ICP Harassment Case

Kid Rock glass dildo

Detroit Michigan is known for being kind of a rough town. Economic depression, white flight, and the collapse of infrastructure has left the former “Paris of the West” reeling for much of the late 20th and early 21st Centuries. Crime rates shot up accordingly, leaving the Motor City struggling to convince the rest of the country that it’s not the surreal wasteland of rapists and muggers many claim it to be. And, quite frankly, two of the city’s biggest musical exports aren’t exactly helping to clean up Detroit’s reputation.

Andrea Pellegrini, a former publicist for Insane Clown Posse’s Psychopathic Records, last month filed a lawsuit against her former employer, claiming sexual harassment. And now, arguably Detroit’s favorite hard-rockin’ son, Kid Rock, has been subpoenaed to produce in court a certain sex toy Pellegrini claims was lewdly offered to her by fellow former Psychopathic employee “Dirty Dan” Diamond, then given to Kid Rock upon her refusal. Oakland County Circuit Court considers the glass dildo cited in Pellegrini’s suit evidence and is requiring Rock to turn it over to the court. Pellegrini claims the implement was offered to her by Diamond after she changed her Facebook status to “single,” an offer she promptly refused.

Rock has not yet complied with the court’s demand and could face jail time if the item is not produced. Those interested in following the case and the dildo’s transition from private sexual aid (or, as Diamond claims, “a work of art”) to admitted evidence can do so via the dildo’s Facebook page.

Kid Rock Glass Dildo

Kpop’s (Very) Little Porn Problem

In the Western World of popular music, a scandal generally involves rampant infidelity, horrific drug abuse, a leaked sex tape, or prison time, but in South Korea, pop idols can be torn from their perch above the rest of us plebs by such seemingly innocuous things as going on dates or taking prescription medication. For one idol, Mina of the group AOA (Ace of Angels), her involvement in a recent pornography “scandal” was entirely at the hands of others.

For those of you needing an introduction, here’s Mina holding mailed entries for an AOA contest:
Mina envelope

And here’s a similar shot of Mina used to advertise an adult service on a popular US-based XXX tube video site:
Mina tube ad

So how did a seemingly innocent 20-year-old bass playing girl group member come to be used as a promotional tool for a shady XXX business? It seems those responsible for the ad graphic found the above contest announcement video on YouTube and, seeing Mina’s curious attempt at miming a drum roll, stole, trimmed, and giffed the following crucial moment:
minastroke

AOA’s record company, FNC Entertainment, reported the matter to police and, strangely, seem to have left it at that. Netizen reports are suggesting that the offending ad, stolen from a video shot when Mina was only 18, has been removed. Although perhaps they’re just adjusting the ad to correct Mina’s nationality from Chinese to Korean, but I doubt it.

Joanna Angel & Gigolos Launch Pants!

Some weeks ago, Burning Angel head honcho and figure head Joanna Angel launched her latest multimedia endeavor. Compared to the punk rock entrepreneur’s previous business ventures, though, this one is almost completely lacking in cumshots aimed at tattoos, filthy bathroom sex, and plundered assholes. Joanna Angel & The Gigolos, a self-described hardcore punk party band featuring Angel and two former members of Fenix TX), previewed their new single ‘Gimme Some Pants’ a few weeks back but (in true punk practice) only just now got around to finishing off the video and tossing it online. And, in all its glory, here it is:

Delivered with Joanna’s trademark sass and knowing wink, ‘Gimme Some Pants’ channels The Runaways, The Cars, and, strangely enough, Midnight Oil while still keeping that Burning Angel irreverence at peak operational capacity. In between discotheque decor and much humorous prancing and trying on of trousers, Joanna and director Mike Quasar even manage to inject the video with a handful of preview clips for Burning Angel’s upcoming feature, Band Sluts. Also starring Annika Amour, Nikki Hearts, Arrabelle Raphael, Draven Star, and (Mr. Pink favorite) Veruca James, Band Sluts sees Joanna and her bandmate Tommy Pistol (the Jack to her rack-tastic Meg White) set off on a tour in search of fame, fortune, and fornication. It’s three hours of carnality and guitar-twangin’ as Band Sluts cements the mockumentary as Burning Angel’s go-to feature format and ensures no porn fan will be able to think of hardcore sex and hardcore rock ‘n’ roll without Joanna Angel’s winking face and winning figure popping into their mind’s eye.

Joanna Angel & The Gigolos’ video ‘Gimme Some Pants’ can now be seen and heard and purchased all around the ‘net. Band Sluts is out now from Burning Angel.