Porn Stars | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 91

Dat Haircut!

A rather odd trend has been sweeping the porn industry of late and it doesn’t concern puckering anuses, cum-covered faces, Nacho Vidal, or ill-advised tattoos. Nope, this time a haircut is what’s got pornstars engaging in gossip circles, trading styling tips, and recommending scissor sisters who are more concerned with follicle health than eating pussy. A haircut, you say? Yeah, a fucking haircut! Check it out…

Eva Angelina, Christy Mack, Skin Diamond, and Kagney Linn Karter are four of the more notable pornstars sporting this rather extreme short-back-and-sides do that recalls the intricately shaved patterns on the heads of manner rappers and ballers, but until recently had not been seen in the pornographic arts. What possessed women so follically blessed models to take electric shavers to their temples and keep it superlong on top? Is this something of an aerodynamic design intended to aid their head-bobbing? Is this hairstyle akin to a gay man having a pierced right ear, except for wanton sluts? Should us guys just start publicly propositioning every woman we see with such an undercut?

Ladies, gentlemen, any insight you can toss my way would be much appreciated. My girlfriend has been considering this cut and I just gotta know what the fuck it means, if anything. Can I rest easy or should I be concerned that said girlfriend is out gallivanting around town, showing off her close-cropped sides to every swinging dick in the tri-zipcode area?

Earth’s Horniest Heroes

Unless you’ve been living under a drunken haze these past few months, you’re surely aware that a little comicbook movie about a team of mighty heroes in tight costumes called The Avengers just opened to record box office takings with $207.4 million opening weekend. There are, however, some long time members of the Merry Marvel Marching Society who haven’t yet shelled out the $9 dollars for a ticket (plus a $2 service charge and and another $3 for 3D glasses) to see their comic heroes on the big (really fucking big) screen. Rising ticket prices isn’t the only reason for avoiding the biggest blockbuster of the summer, though; there’s also resentment.

I, a long time fan of the Avengers comics – the Harris/Epting/Palmer run in the early ’90s, especially – resent the exclusion of the most attractive of the female team members: Ms. Marvel, The Scarlet Witch, Sharon Carter, and, yes, even She-Hulk. With only ScarJo as feminine eye-candy, it stands to reason there’s demand enough from the male heterosexual portion of The Avengers’ audience to demand this travesty be rectified. It’s too late for Marvel, though. Axel Braun beat them to it.

Axel Braun is the undisputed king of the contemporary porn parody and the man responsible for such hardcore takes on comicbook legends as Spider-Man, Superman, and Batman, all in movies suffixed XXX: A Porn Parody, so it’s no shock he took on Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and it’s no surprise he decided to include such wearers of skimpy form-fitting costumes as those women listed above. If you’ve seen his work you’d know that Axel Braun is many things, but he ain’t no damn dummy.

Check out the trailer for The Avengers: A XXX Porn Parody then report back here immediately, solider. That’s an order! (Don’t worry, it’s SFW.)

Now, just tell me Lex Steele doesn’t give Samuel L. Jackson a run for his money as Nick Fury, and tell me Xander Corvus doesn’t bring the appropriate self-obsessed teen angst Spider-Man requires, and tell me you wouldn’t risk being crippled by the aggressive sexual potency of Spider-Woman’s (Jenna Presley) pheromone-aided seductive techniques. And that’s the Jessica Drew Spider-Woman, not one of the other, lesser versions. And Braun’s got Scarlet Witch (Danni Cole) in there, Brooklyn Lee squeezed into an ever tighter, shinier catsuit than ScarJo’s Black Widow, and fucking Chyna plays The Sensational She-Hulk – is that perfect casting or what? Really the only casting decision that seems a touch off is that of Lexi Swallow as Ms. Marvel; she’s great and all, but kinda slight for one of the most powerful human women in the Marvel Universe. How does the marvelous Ms. Swallow fare in her sex scenes with Spidey and Scarlet Witch? Vivid has every planet-threatening, kitten-saving, costume-shredding, face-blasting second of the most adventurous porn parody Braun has produced thus far, The Avengers XXX.

Sara Jay v Brazzers v Sara Jay

When you stumble across a blog purporting to belong to a notable adult performer, how seriously do you consider the possibility that the person behind said blog not only isn’t the performer in question, but not even a manager, agent, representative, or lay-fan? This turned out to be the case with SaraJayBlog.com, a now defunct page which its focus, pornstar Sara Jay, says was started by Brazzers, the reigning champion of online porn networks, in an effort to “steal traffic” and impersonate her. Brazzers, however, denies the allegations and says Ms. Jay has her facts all wrong – but it doesn’t end there.

Although Brazzers’ director of marketing Kate Miller has declared that the company “never owned, operated, nor was involved in the registration or management of SaraJayBlog.com” Jay still insists her lawsuit was kosher, kosher enough to, in her words, “[win] at the trial court and court of appeal levels.” With Brazzers allegedly agreeing, according to Jay, to relinquish any and all claims on the url, the pornstar decided to settle. “It was a bitter battle with Brazzers but it was better for both sides to resolve it.”

Brazzers, however, is still scratching its collective head. Miller denies that Jay’s lawsuit even went to court, or to trial, and it most definitely never went to the Court of Appeal. Sorry, Sara, but it looks like Brazzers one-upped you there. Oh, you’ve something else to add in your defense? You claim Brazzers cited a model release that allegedly allowed their use of your name and likeness and that they do the same to other adult performers? That’s another heavy charge. Let’s see what Brazzers had to say about this latest charge, shall we?

“Contrary to recent reports, Sara Jay did not success in any way, shape or form in her lawsuit against Brazzers… In fact, after spending significant amounts on legal fees prosecuting what Brazzers maintained at all times was a frivolous action, Sara Jay did not receive a single amount, payment or money in settlement. Instead, Sara Jay abandoned her case and released all claims she conceivably had, in exchange for Brazzers’ agreement not to proceed with its pending motions for sanctions, or file claims for malicious prosecution against her and her attorney.”

Ouch.

This is definitely one battle worth watching from the sidelines. Team Brazzers or Team Sara, whose side are you on?

2012: Year of the Vixen

Forget beauty pageants, they’re for prima donnas and overbearing mothers. Forget mainstream modeling too, where you probably only need to walk in a straight line to succeed. When you’re a women keenly in touch with her hyperactive sexuality, a woman who is particularly easy on the eyes from head to toe, there’s only one modeling competition worth even thinking about and it’s run by that sentinel of babeliciousness, Twistys.

Every month, the Twistys team hand-picks one model whose obvious physical attributes are matched by strength of character and devotion to her chosen profession: getting naked on camera. The women, when selected, are thrust into the spotlight as an official Twistys Treat of the Month. Although the responsibilities that come with this title are few, the position it places one in is of immense influence. After all, look what being a Twistys Treat of the Month has done for the likes of Isis Taylor, Bree Daniels, and Jayden Cole.

Back in March of 2011, a young model named Taylor Vixen was awarded a position as the Twistys Treat for that month, but, as is the case every year, someone needed to be appointed Twisty Treat of the Year, the highest honor in online softcore. For 2012, Taylor Vixen is that Treat. And for her fans, the time to celebrate is now!

Crowned Queen of Twistys only a few days ago, Ms. Vixen is already making her presence well known. Featured in an extensive profile at Twistys, Taylor unveils her innermost secrets… kinda. Born in Dallas, Texas but now living in sunny Los Angeles, Taylor tells her fans what she always wanted to be when she grew up (“a sexy cocktail waitress”), her favorite of her numerous glowing physical features (“I love them all, but of course my boobs”), and, among many other tantalizing tidbits, her favorite sexual position (“I love being on top so my boobs can bounce!”).

Although Taylor is rewarded for her success with such prizes as a Twistys diamond necklace, custom-made lingerie, a shopping spree, and a check for $10,000, the real reward is given to the fans who’ll soon be seeing her celebrated in a special Treat of the Year photoshoot that’s due to take place at the end of May and will feature Taylor posing alongside last years reigning Treat, Emily Addison.

Isn’t it time you got to know Taylor Vixen a little more intimately?