Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 140

The Porn Dude Advises

Back in the days the 33.3k modems, heavily contested phone line access, and piled-high floppy disk archives, there was one website above all others that broadened my pornographic horizons and lowered my tolerance for worthless smut. That website, Sublime Directory was, in essence, a listing of adult websites of all kinds, from all countries, and it introduced me to facials, gangbangs, scat, and the amazing work of amateur pornographers the world over. Times changes, though, and people move on. I’d learned more than enough during my patronage of Sublime Directory that I could confidently instruct my friends on where to find celebrity nudes screen-capped from VHS tapes, Southeast Asian pissing videos, or the elusive DVDA we first heard about via South Park. I was, in effect, the porn connoisseur you would all soon come to know and love me as. It was time for something new, so I ventured forth into the professional porn world alone, without any website to guide my taste and opinion. Mr. Pink’s was born and set about un-muddying the world of paid online porn to ensure you, the home viewer, would never be left feeling a pizza was a better option than beating off to, say, Twistys’ bikini galleries.

Every now and then, a potential replacement for my beloved Sublime Directory comes along and asks to be pilfered for porno info. The Porn Dude is one such website, and one such character. Holding court over a simply designed range of charts that chronicle the most visited and most beloved adult websites on the ‘net. And this isn’t just mainstream U.S. porn either, there’s webcam, picture and gif dump, Asian and Arab and Ebony porn sites, the best NSFW Reddit forums, choice picks of hentai, celebrity nudes (real and fake), Tumblr feeds, XXX comics, and adult Flash video games. Fetish sites, explicit Vines, watersports and scat, and adults-only dating sites all get a run, too, with many well-known Mr. Pink’s favorites topping lists left, right, and center.

The Porn Dude’s links are reliably live – I came upon no missing pages or dead links – but, while they connect you to image boards, preview sites, and free content of all kinds, this isn’t a link directory in the same sense of those early ones, Sublime Directory included. You won’t find links to promotional Brazzers, Naughty America, or Net Video Girls scenes here and although that might irritate those on the hunt for a specific woman or very specific act. We who remember the nightmarish pop-up onslaughts and abruptly-ending 10-second preview clips, on the other hand, won’t mind a bit. It would be nice to see a portion of The Porn Dude’s service dedicated to porn reviewers and advice forums to provide sage wisdom from yours truly and colleagues on the merit of the porn you’re now so well connected to. A stronger search tool would also be a welcome addition to this otherwise comprehensive link-fest The Porn Dude has assembled for your benefit. Why not at least bestow upon him a visit if not your undying respect and admiration. After all, he’s gone to so much effort. Thanks, Porn Dude!

Jada Stevens, Mia Malkova, Nick Sterling Turn Exclusive

wo of the most bottom-heavy beauties in American porn, Jada Stevens and Mia Malkova, both announced exclusive performance deals recently with Malkova signing with Hard X and Stevens aligning herself with new studio ArchAngel Productions. Various other ass-loving adult studios read the announcements and wept.

Malkova, the reigning AVN Best New Starlet, signed with her pals at Hard X after shooting a handful of scenes with director Mason and will make her in-contract debut in Super Cute 2 (released this month). Although permitted to shoot solo and girl-girl content for other studios, Malkova, who recently made her anal debut at Brazzers, will be taking dick only for Hard X.

Taking her reign as Evil Angel’s legendary Buttwoman even further, one of porn’s other truly ass-tastic beauties, Jada Stevens has thrown her lot in with a brand new company headed by award-winning director MimeFreak. In her first feature for ArchAngel Productions, the focus will be firmly on Stevens’s ample rear and exceptional anal skills; but she’s not stopping there. After The Booty Movie, which she apparently helped cast, Stevens will be seen in Anal Warriors – “[It’s] about bitches taking it in the ass,” says MimeFreak – alongside fellow anal acrobats Adriana Chechik, Dahlia Skye, Dana DeArmond and Natasha Starr, all of whom she’s surely set to out-perform. After all, she was Buttwoman!

There’s been some contract signing happening over on the all-male side of the industry, too, with Falcon Studios Group nabbing rising star Nick Sterling all for themselves. As per Sterling’s deal, he’ll shoot for Falcon and its Raging Stallion and Hot House subsidiaries after making his Falcon debut with Ready to Fuck. Falcon President Chris Ward was mightily impressed with Sterling’s first hardcore scene and considered signing him to an exclusive contract on the spot, but took some time to make sure. “Nick Sterling is handsome with a penetrating gaze and he’s got a body, dick, and ass that was made to appear in adult film,” Ward said. Sterling meanwhile expressed his gratitude, calling the Falcon team “some of the warmest and most professional people I have worked with in the industry. They make the experience fun and memorable each and every time.”

Let’s hope these three remarkable performers use their new home studios to bring us a fun and memorable experience each time, too.

Pubic Hair Booming in South Korea

Grab yourself a look at South Korea’s most significant cultural exports at the moment – charming girl group pop, insanely hot soda spokesmodels, and blockbuster action movies – and you’d have no idea that beneath the shiny, tech-savvy, economically booming surface of the nation lay a groundswell of people devoted to glorifying their pubic hair. Sure, “The muff is back,” has been bandied about the porn industry for a while now, but with Laurie Vargas retired and Bobbi Starr mostly behind the camera these days, pubic hair isn’t anywhere near as prominent as it was thought to be becoming. In South Korea, however…

So keen are many Korean women on the idea of sporting a voluminous pubic muff that they’re using a procedure called “bush grafting” to artificially add extra follicles down below, follicles grafted from their scalps. As detailed by Refinery29, Korean pubic hirsutism is rooted in the traditional belief that heavy follicles are a sign of fertility and a healthy sexual well-being. The bush grafting is not so traditional, however, with a study conducted by Seoul’s Arumdaun Nara Dermatologic and Plastic Surgery Clinic revealing that 74% of women undergoing the procedure did it because of “a sense of inferiority to the same sex.” In other words, other women with more lush pubic hair made ’em feel crappy. The International Society of Hair Restoration Surgery reports that bush grafting has risen a remarkable 160% between 2010 and 2012 and with the procedure starting at $2,000, that’s a lot of expensive merkins roaming the banks of the Han River.

Meanwhile, back in the USA, it’s still bald or near-bald female pubic regions as far as the eye can see. Surely there’s a comfortable middle ground to be found, perhaps after extensive diplomatic talks between our two nations. Hell, maybe we can rope Kim Jong-un into the discussions and find out once and for all if pubic hair in North Korea is as uniform and militarized as everything else.

Mr. Pink’s Annual Halloween Porn Report: Brazzers’ Dark Reign!

Every year porn studios, sites, and networks clamor to conceive and shoot the most original and most thrilling Halloween porn scene. This year, however, it’s barely even a competition. As outlined in my previous blog, the scant offerings from the pornosphere this year will no doubt leave many looking for a porn site as devoted to Halloween as they themselves are. That site, dear bleeder, is a network: Brazzers.

Having already blogged about Brazzers’ exclusive Halloween series, American Whore Story earlier this month, it’s safe to assume readers and Brazzers fans both do not require an explanation of the (quite frankly idiotic and convoluted) plot. Instead let’s pick up where we left off with episodes four now online and featuring Kleio Valentien in a wild outdoor pussy-pounding by campfire. The climax of the story – you guys care about story, right? – is due for release on October 31st and stars everyone’s favorite queen of decadence, Bonnie Rotten! Finding himself alone with the otherworldly Ms. Rotten, who wears only Japanese shibari bondage ropes, Danny D, on the run from specters and ghouls, heads straight for her asshole and sends her squirting around a hotel room until it’s his turn to explode.

Now, you’d think one five-part series would be enough for Brazzers this Halloween, but the ZZ crew has been pumping out scarily sexy themed episodes since early October. First up was Carter’s Too Old for Trick or Treating, a Teens Like it Big scene starring Carter Cruise, Chanel Preston, and Keiran Lee and sees the young blonde ensnared by by her elders and thoroughly devastated orally, vaginally, and anally after ditching most of her leather outfit.

I’ve heard porn fans refer to Audrey Bitoni as a plasticized doll, but never as the creation of Dr. Frankenslut! A barbaric piecemeal superslut created by the mad scientist, Audrey wakes from her slumber and immediately desires cock. Good thing the doc’s assistant, Mick Blue is around and erect, then.

Spoofing hit movie Paranormal Activity, Brazzers Extra sees the debut of British frizzy-haired ex-mainstream model Aruba Jasmine. With her boyfriend Ryan Rider, Aruba wants to make a sordid sex tape. The spirits inhabiting their house, however, object and make the homemade production a nightmare for the couple. But who’s this other British couple watching Aruba and Ryan try to get it on without the ghosts interrupting, a task at which they ultimately fail. Are they gonna try to fuck, too…?

Released just three days before Halloween, part one of Baby Got Boobs’ World War XXX sees Corinna Blake and her stepbrother Jessy Jones courting their parents outrage by fucking on the sofa. There’s a plague going ’round, though, and it’s headed their way. Will Jessy paint his step-sis’s face before they’re both turned into… whatever the fuck these horrific looking humanoid creatures are! We’ll find out what happens to the fairer of the pair in part two, released October 29, as Corinna, now on the run, encounters fellow post-apocalyptic warrior, Johnny Sins and joins him for some much needed R-and-R (Brazzers-style, of course).

A pair of standalone episodes round out this year’s Halloween offerings from Brazzers, Big Tits in Uniform’s Sexy Halloween and MILFs Like it Big’s Weremilf. The latter scene introduces us to an substantially different Diamond Jackson. When a full moon shines down on her, Ms. Jackson develops an insatiable hunger for human penis. Luckily (for her), she finds Brick Danger nearby and ravenous devours him. Sexy Halloween is a little more sedate, though, and sees Richelle Ryan eager to enjoy her Halloween party as it’s the one night she can dress like an outright sexual deviant and get away with it. That is if “getting away with it” includes being pulled from her barely-there prison stripes and fucked hard by Mick Blue.

Be sure to eat something more nutritious than a bucketload of candy when you’re celebrating spooks and specters this year. With all this incredible seasonal smut from Brazzers, you’re gonna need to be in peak condition to, uh, “enjoy” them all before Thanksgiving arrives.

Sincerely, from all of us at Mr. Pink’s, have a killer Halloween, Samhain, Allhallowtide, All Hallows’ Eve, All Saint’s Day, Totensonntag, Hop-tu-Naa, Calan Gaeaf, Allantide, Dia de los Muertos, Reformation Day, or whatever-the-fuck esoteric feast or festival you choose to celebrate come October’s end.