Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 165

Host a Pornstar in Your Man-Cave

While I don’t have enough excess room in my abode to create my own personal man-cave, I’m sure plenty of you reading this not only have the room, but have the inclination, the wherewithal, and the desire to carve yourself a homey little hovel filled with trinkets and memorabilia, perhaps a pool table, a few lava lamps, and a makeshift bar with ample liquor in constant stock. Go ahead, bro, knock yourself out with the most badass man-cave you can imagine, but it still won’t be complete without one very special item: a fucking pornstar wall decal!

The company, AdultDecalz (the “#1 selling adult decal”!), is now adorning men’s walls with saucy yet refined images of their favorite adult models and performers. AdultDecalz moves into exciting new territory, striking deals with three of porn’s most esteemed studios, Digital Playground, Naughty America, and Evil Angel, with others reportedly to come. Fancy gussying up your den, pool room, or other such hideout with the likes of Madison Ivy, Jessie Jane, Kayden Kross, Selena Rose, Lisa Ann, Esperanza Gomez, and Asa Akira? Well, short of kidnapping the real thing and imprisoning your chosen starlet in some kind of wall-mounted bondage rack*, this is as close as you’re gonna get. Imagine lining up a YouTube-inspired, heavily rehearsed trick shot and challenging your buddy with the same – there’s no way he’ll be able to compete with Kayden Kross’s ass staring him down. You pot everything else, then the black, and win. He goes home. You stare at your killer pornstar decal in privatorum, you dig?

*Mr. Pink’s cannot and does not condone or encourage this course of action, no matter how appealing it may seem on paper.

PornHub Denied Super Bowl Ad Spot

Try as they might to gain mainstream acceptance, many adult industry entities find themselves blocked at every turn, including, not surprisingly, the most-watched television event of the year: Super Bowl XLVII.

Ok, so it might be hard to believe any porn company, website or otherwise, would manage to have a commercial aired on national television under any circumstances, let alone during the Super Bowl, but PornHub insisted on trying, only to find their submission rejected by CBS. If you’ve seen the relatively harmless ad, you might wonder “But why? It’s just a fully-clothed elderly couple sitting on a bench gazing lovingly at each other over a gentle piano score. What’s wrong with that?” The reason given by CBS is as follows: “CBS Television Network Standards do not permit advertising related to pornography. Therefore, we cannot accept your submission.” Sounds simple and clear enough, doesn’t it? Could it be, though, that PornHub knew they’d be rejected regardless of the actual content of their submission and cobbled together as inoffensive an ad as possible just to point out how prudish network television advertising really is? The cynic in me say “No shit, Sherlock,” while the other Mr. Pink, the valiant warrior fighting for justice and equality for porn, its purveyors, its performers, and its patrons… well, he also agrees.

If you care to, you can vote on whether or not you find the commercial, which has been removed from public availability by YouTube, worthy of Super Bowl airtime. Not surprisingly, most folks are voting in support of the spot. Where do you stand on this vitally important issue facing America today?

Just Because They Suck You… Doesn’t Mean They Like You!

It’s not inconceivable that even before the rise of parody porn, wannabe Hollywood auteur Kevin Smith hoped and dreamed that his debut feature film, Clerks, would strike such a chord with contemporary society that it’d eventually be turned into something even more pornographic than his dialogue. Now, almost twenty years after Clerks’ 1994 release, a Clerks porn parody is available from Vivid Entertainment.

Providing the Clerks slackers with far more sexual opportunities than the original film, Clerks XXX: A Porn Parody sees Allie Haze and Lexi Swallow fill the presumably loosely-tied boots of Dante and Randall as Dana and Randi, who spend their workday embroiled in all sorts of lewd and lascivious (and presumably humorous) situations. Joining Haze and Swallow are Chastity Lynn as Jane and Kelly Devine as Silent Bertha, the gender-bending XXX versions of Jay and Silent Bob. Other performers include Jayden Lee, Seth Gamble, Brian Street Team, and Evan Stone as the most obnoxious series of customers imaginable – yes, every one.

Clerks XXX is now available for viewing at Vivid’s online HQ, but those who want the full “rise of the indies” experience should pick up the DVD release, which includes a non-hardcore black-and-white version. Although with presumably better dialog recordings than Smith’s original. Oh, and Smith has been unusually silent about this highly explicit tribute, perhaps too immersed in his adored and officially endorsed Fleshlight to pay it much mind.

Eating Out with Dana Vespoli

Only a few weeks after the announcement of her recent addition to Evil Angel’s roster of directorial talent, one of San Francisco’s numerous notable kinksters, Dana Vespoli, announces the release of Lesbian Analingus, her newest directorial effort. Surprisingly, though, this ass-munching, rim-jobbing all-girl sapph-fest is being released not by Evil Angel, but by Sweetheart Video and Mile High Media.

Starring Vespoli herself and a cast of some of porn’s most delectable women – Gracie Glam, Sinn Sage, Charley Chase, Phoenix Marie, Annika Albrite, Sandy B, and Liza Del Sierra – Lesbian Analingus serves up the first dedicated orally inclined ass-play release from Mile High’s award-winning all-lesbian Sweetheart Video. Employing fingers, toys, puckered lips, tongues and plenty of saliva, the scenes see Charley and Gracie, Annika and Sandy, Sinn and Liza, follow Dana and Phoenix’s lead and indulging in tongue lashings their fans both male and female won’t soon forget.

You can now preview all four Vespoli-directed Lesbian Analingus scenes at Sweetheart Video.