Before Brazzers

Phoenix Marie at BrazzersYou now know them as Juelz Ventura, Jessica Jaymes, and Phoenix Marie, but these delightful pornstar women once went by very different names and had very different appearances. Brazzers recently uncovered as part of their Before They Were Pornstars articles photos of these three cum-guzzling pornstars before they were sexual superstars in the world of hardcore pornography. Man, what a difference a few years (and a couple of saline sacks) can make!

In her High School days, a young Phoenix Marie was on the wrestling team and, while we don’t know exactly how good a wrestler she was, the training must certainly have equipped her for all the incredible anal pile-drivers, reverse cowgirl creampies, and ankle-earring enemas she’d perform after adopting her porno moniker. If only some conscientious studio would rope Ms. Marie into tumbling on the floor with another athletic pornstar, leotards, protective head-wear and all.

Juelz Ventura, now known for her hard rockin’ style – tattoos, piercings, jet black hair, and amped-up tatties – was once an apparently innocent blonde with a sunny disposition; kinda like an Orange County version of pre-Twilight Kristen Stewart, only much, much hotter. It’s hard to imagine such a sweet-looking girl would soon be getting gleefully stretched out by the likes of Shane Diesel, but there it is!

Before wreaking havoc on her male co-stars in some of the most blistering porn scenes in recent memory, Jessica Jaymes was causing mayhem of a very different kind in a very, very different environment: the New Mexico Military Academy. Even going so far as to go AWOL for some troublemaking down in Juraez, Mexico, the future Ms. Jaymes didn’t seem to fit army life and received more than her fair share of demerits, including a record number of marching tours for bad behavior. (That explains how her derrière came to be in such great shape, I guess.)

As Brazzers dig deeper and deeper into the former lives of your favorite pornstars, Mr. Pink’s can only imagine what they might uncover about such ZZ luminaries as Lisa Ann, Nikki Benz, Shyla Stylez, and Sienna West. Lemme guess, they had smaller tits?

Flying the Virgin Skies

Chanel Preston

I’m sure plenty of us have found ourselves sitting at the gate, laptop humming away, hoping the latest Bang Bros scene will hurrythefuckup and finish downloading before our boarding group is called, just to make a red eye flight that little bit more tolerable with a 3,000 foot bout of ‘bating. And now that some airlines are offering WiFi connections on some of their flights, the temptation to watch Bobbi Starr take on five big, black dicks while surrounded by strangers can be pretty damn hard to resist. Hell, even your humble reviewer, Mr. Pink, has scoped out some brand new scenes mid-flight just to beat a review deadline, but with American and Delta Airlines already blocking adult content on their in-flight connections, what is a horny Frequent Flyer to do?

Sure, you could occupy the lavatory accompanied by your iPad, but prepare for looks of suspicion and derision upon exiting. Yeah, there is a wannabe model in the second-to-back row who could be up for some action but she’s probably too pretentious to even consider joining the mile-high club. Of course, there’s always the stewardess; those charming and oh so helpful stewardesses. They are, however, working and very, very, very rarely (i.e.: never) fraternize with passengers, regardless of what Chanel Preston tells you.

So, what to do when you’ve got a hard-on that is only made worse by intermittent turbulence. Hey, here’s an idea – hold it in! It’ll make your return home or hotel arrival all the more relieving and if you’ve got a girl waiting for you on the other end, she’ll be extra pleased to have you back, fucking like a monster and shooting one of your heaviest loads!

Too Pretty for Porn

Too Pretty For Porn

Mr. Pink’s Wacky, Strange, Bizarre, Curious, and often Downright Funny Porn Star name of the week brings you Too Pretty for Porn. No, that’s not a statement. Too Pretty for Porn is an actual name of a delicious ebony pornstar.

Mr. Pink came across Too Pretty for Porn (aka 2 Pretty 4 Porn) while browsing the Black category on Videobox (Which is one of Mr. Pink’s Porn Reviews top rated sites, BTW). While her name is a bit of a contradiction, since she was obviously doing porn (some serious hardcore porn nonetheless), I just had to find out more about this ebony pornstar with a somewhat wacky name. Turns out that Too Pretty for Porn is Gabrielle Carmouche, an actual mainstream actress that has been seen on The Cosby Show, Sister, Sister, In The House, and Big Brother Jake.  

Mainstream actress that has performed in a couple of hardcore pornos? Don’t we all wish that would happen more often? Check out her scene from the adult film Triple Shot on Videobox. This ebony babe loves getting all of her holes filled! For that scintillating scene and your interesting back story, Too Pretty for Porn you have earned your way into Mr. Pink’s Wacky, Strange, Bizarre, Curious, and often Downright Funny Porn Star name of the week.