On a Pussy Hunt!

White Trash Black SplashWhile reviewing that premiere Golden Age movie emporium, The Classic Porn, I started to reminisce about the times when I had first viewed pornographic videos. Badly dubbed VHS tapes passed down from friend to friend; magnetic tape warped at crucial moments from too frequent pausing; barely legible titles scrawled on a piece of yellowed masking tape slapped on the cassette. I watched a few tapes with friends before smuggling them back home for a night alone when nobody else was around. Now that I spend most of my days looking at contemporary hardcore porn, these adult videos of old hold a very special place in my… well, in my heart, I suppose. Still, I’ve never managed to track down the few more memorable explicit sexual dramas of my youth.

One title I did manage to find on The Classic Porn is White Trash, Black Splash – a 1988 interracial title starring Gail Force, Jeannie Pepper, and Randy West, directed by John “Buttman” Stagliano. Featuring the most memorable post-cumshot dialog in all my porn viewing history, “As we say in de ghetto, ‘Ain’t nothin’ like a funky house party!'”, this movie wasn’t too hard to track down considering I knew it a) was interracial, and b) starred the inimitable Randy West. For me, though, this one movie just isn’t enough. I need to once again feel the thrill of seeing a black-bob-wigged, fake-titted harlot straddle the detective investigating her, ignoring anyone else that may be in the precinct at the time, and lead him to a massive face-based discharge. I need to see said detective strapped to a bondage device and taken by a blonde vixen who, in a likelihood, is the murderer/arsonist/shoplifter he’s been pursuing all along. The problem is, folks, I have no idea who any of these people are or what the film in question is called.

Surely someone out there is working on a site that would allow users to input a number of criteria – like, say, in this instance: detective, bondage, suspect, black hair, fake breasts, Hollywood, sex in chair, 1990s, and whatever else my booze-addled memory might be able to drum up – and be given a list of possible suspects. I mean, it’s basically like a more detailed and, I don’t know, helpful version of IAFD, isn’t it? Come on, who can I turn to for help in this arduous decade-long pussy hunt?

Until then, dear readers, feast your eyes on what got a much younger and less jaded Mr. Pink all riled up: White Trash, Black Splash!

Fucking Punks!

NasstoysEarlier this week, Mr. Pink’s took a wander through the Burning Angel network in preparation for a slew of new reviews of Joanna and crew’s fantastic punk rock porn sites. The first to receive the full Pink treatment was POV Punx, a site devoted entirely to thrusting you in the virtual hot seat and providing drool-worthy views of Kylee Kross, Misti Dawn, Kleio Valentein and other Burning Angels in scenes of face, snatch, and ass-fucking awesomeness.

Those of you who’ve been paying special attention to recent trends would’ve surely noticed the increased presence of “alternative” girls in porn both softcore and hardcore, on sites like Suicide Girls and God’s Girls, all over the Tumblr-verse, and even on relatively mainstream adult sites like Brazzers and Bang Bros. While Burning Angel is obviously the place to go for hardcore pornstars with tattoos, piercings, and absurdly colored hair, and POV Punx offers as intimate an experience with such girls as the Internet is currently capable of, those who want something a bit more tangible can turn to Nasstoys and its newest male sexual aid products.

FukPussy Pierced Nipples and FukPussy Pierced Vagina might seem like fairly bizarre objects to sink your shaft into but when you consider that they allegedly feel “better than real REALSKIN” and include a push-button bullet vibrator to offer vibrating orgasms, fucking a pierced pile of anatomically inaccurate flesh-colored thermoplastic rubber doesn’t seem like such a bad idea; and, hey, used in conjunction with POV Punx, the FukPussy might have you convinced you’ve just bagged yourself some real goth-punk pussy.

Brazzers Jumps Into Action

BrazzersWhile it’s always a treat to go back and take another look at a site or network that had previous made a profoundly positive impression on yours truly, it’s even better when the site or network in question has made a huge leap in production quality, audio-visual quality, design, or usability. In the case of the Brazzers network, the first three couldn’t really have been much improved upon, but with the addition of a feature called Jump to Action, Brazzers now allows its stream-friendly viewers to head straight to the part of a scene that most appeals to their unique pornographic predilections.

Brazzers’ Jump to Action menu sits below all newly added scenes and shows, in the case of London Keyes’ recent ‘Invading Your Priv-Assy’ scene for Big Butts Like it Big, every act the delightful Asian-American pornstar performed with Mick Blue. From initial Blowjob to Spanking and a hot Side Fuck all the way to the Gaping brought on by Mick’s thick cock. Hovering your cursor over one of these markers shows a preview thumbnail of that moment in the video and, of course, when you click a marker you’re shot straight to that part of the scene. Nice development, huh?

So, if you’ve been putting off another month inside the Brazzers world because you love how Monique Alexander fucks but hate the way she blows, or you’re of otherwise perfect Charley Chase cocksucking scenes turning into blandly vanilla sex, or even if you just want to beat your meat fast and furiously to a clip of your favorite girl taking a load in the mouth over and over and over again, Jump to Action has you covered.