Category: Porn Reviews

Porn Reviews

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Brazzers

brazzers dscount

If you’ve been paying any attention to Mr. Pink’s over the past few years, you’ll have noticed we’re big fans of Brazzers ’round here. It’s not just the steady parade of impeccable pornstar talent being featured or the infamous network’s 32 websites or the 60fps 1080p HD movies sizzling up the screen, nor is it the highly customizable viewing platform on which all its scenes stream or the company’s devotion to hosting anal, DP, and gangbang debuts that keeps us coming back to “The ZZ” – it’s the value!

Previously discounted by ten dollars, the regular monthly Brazzers membership price of $29.99 has undoubtedly prevented less financially secure readers from indulging. Now, however, there’s an absolutely unmissable deal that’ll get you one month inside the world’s most acclaimed adult emporium for less than ten bucks! That’s right, smut lovers, Brazzers can now be enjoyed at the low price of $9.95 for your first month (with subsequent months recurring at full price unless cancelled).

Can you think of a better way to test out the infamous Brazzers before committing to lifelong attendance? I sure can’t, not with figures like these encouraging your, my, our complete attention:

THE MATH:
Home to 32 websites holding a combined 6,047 scenes and now available for just $9.95, Brazzers is essentially offering you each of its celebrated sites for .31¢ and individual scenes for .0016¢ each or 625-for-$1! What more needs to be said?

Discounts as dramatic as these rarely last long, so I’d suggest making the leap to Brazzers membership before prices start rising and this golden opportunity slips by once more. After all, we are talking about the winner of three-time winner of the AVN Award for Best Membership Website and 2014’s Best Studio trophy. Kinda hard to beat, this Brazzers empire!

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Porn Pros

porn pros

Finding a killer online porn deal is like shooting lazy, overweight fish in a too-small barrel. There’s bargains everywhere you turn and ads a-plenty to alert you to their offerings, but Mr. Pink, always on the lookout for the best and boldest and most affordable adult entertainment, likes to clue his readers in to deals they might otherwise miss. This week, we’re taking a look at the 22-site network Porn Pros.

Porn Pros’ niche and kink-oriented websites focus on young harlots (Teen BFF, 18 Years Old), bondage-infused humiliation porn (Amateur Violations, Disgraced 18, MILF humiliation), the biggest tits ‘n’ boners in porn (Freaks of Boobs, Freaks of Cock), dark-skinned babes (40oz Bounce, Pimp Parade), adventurous oral sex and massive facials (Deep Throat Love, Cumshot Surprise, LOL Cumshot, Cum Disgrace), female ejaculation (Squirt Disgrace), continental hotties (Euro Humpers), sexy yoga devotees (Flexible Positions), inter-generational sex (Jurassic Cock), hardcore lesbian couplings (Cruelty Party), “homemade” sex tapes (Real Ex Girlfriends), sensual rubdowns (Massage Creep), and even a game show built around a giant penis (Cock Competition). While hardly the most realistic porn network on the ‘net, Porn Pros adds significant spice to otherwise tired concepts and features the work of such dynamite ladies as Anissa Kate, Dani Daniels, Anikka Albrite, Tasha Reign, and Holly Michaels, who appears in an incredible 59 scenes!

Although some Porn Pros sites are no longer updating, leaving Teen BFF, Massage Creep, Real Ex Girlfriends, and 18 Years Old to deliver the bulk of the network’s new material, there’s more than enough highly varied content here to keep any porn fanatic busy for six months or more, and, at $17.95-a-month, Mr. Pink’s current Porn Pros deal is too good to pass up. Don’t believe me? Maybe you’ll believe…

THE MATH:
Porn Pros’ 22 sites hold a collective 2,825 scenes, averaging 128 scenes-per-site and giving each scene an approximate cost of only .64¢, and puts each site at just 81¢-per-month. With a month at Porn Pros now available for a measly $17.95 and updates hitting the homepage about 20 times each each month, even those members watching only the newest content get a great deal: roughly 89¢-per-new-scene. Although it’s not exactly the perfect porn network, Porn Pros is absolutely essential viewing for any porn fan worth his (or her) salt.

Brazzers Wants Your Gift Cards

Brazzers

There it was emblazoned across the bottom of a picture of Keisha Grey’s bountiful ass on the homepage at Brazzers HQ: “Trade Unused Gift Cards for Membership.” My jaw dropped. Could Brazzers really be telling me there’s a use for all those Starbucks and Target and Best Buy and (ugh) Marshalls gift cards my family members indifferently toss at me come Christmastime? Considering the ZZ sign-up process now includes the option to pay in the virtual currencies issued by everyone from Adidas and Aeropostale to Urban Outfitters, Victoria’s Secret, and even Wal-Mart and palmed off as thoughtless presents by pretty much everyone, I’d say that’s affirmative, wouldn’t you?

Brazzers opened this new avenue of payment in early January and has been Tweetin’ the news to its ten gazillion followers thusly:

When it comes to alternative methods of payment, the ZZ has some competition, though, as Naughty America recently announced that it would be accepting new members paying with bank checks and the controversial decentralized crypto-currency Bitcoin. With Bitcoin thrust under the nose of the CIA, the FBI, the DEA, the ATF (all the acronyms, really) due to deep-web markets like Silk Road, perhaps that seemingly useless stack of gift cards is indeed the wisest path of alternative porn-site payment. Brazzers assures its members the whole process will be painless and, aside from not getting the exact monetary value of the gift card in question, you’ll probably find it so. If you’ve got a $25 Starbucks card laying around, that’ll get you 16 days of access; a $200 Best Buy gift card earns you an insane 608 days of access!

And, bless ’em, the Brazzers team has made the whole transaction anonymous so you’ll never have to ‘fess up and admit to your dear old mother that the Williams-Sonoma gift card she gleefully presented you and your then-girlfriend with all those months ago didn’t make it anywhere near a Williams-Sonoma store and instead was used to ensure you wouldn’t have to miss Madison Ivy’s hotly anticipated, much ballyhooed upcoming anal debut right here at Brazzers. Whew.

brazzers review

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Jules Jordan

Jules Jordan

Jules Jordan knows about great deals; his entire career could be seen as a carefully constructed means to not only have sex with some of the most vivaciously sexual women alive, but to make ‘mad bank’ doing so. With a porno empire rivaling John “Buttman” Stagliano’s Evil Angel, Jordan has seen everyone from Eve Lawrence and Taylor Wane to Alexis Texas and Abella Anderson step onto his set and deliver astounding performances. And, with well over 30 major industry awards to his credit, from AVNs to XRCOs and everything in between, it seems most everyone in porn agrees: if you want it done right (and very hardcore), you go to Jules.

Jules Jordan Video’s official website, naturally called Jules Jordan, packs a hefty carnal wallop with close to one thousand hardcore scenes of impressive technical, artistic, and, most importantly, sexual merits. Throw in 720p and 1080p HD videos and a strong image archive starring porn’s most thrilling women and most skilled cocksmen – interracial is a specialty and sees Lex Steele and Mandingo destroy dozens upon dozens of pussies – and you’re looking at a great deal even at full price. But with Mr. Pink’s discount bringing one month of Jules Jordan below twenty bucks ($19.95 from $29.95, to be precise), you’d be mad to ignore this golden opportunity to indulge.

The Math:
While quantity certainly isn’t the only thing to consider when joining a porn site, Jules doesn’t do too badly at all. There’s 177 full-length DVDs online, giving up 904 individual scenes and roughly equating to 11c-per-DVD and 2c-per-scene! Plus you get free access to another 88 scenes at Sperm Swallowers! Jules Jordan, you’re my hero!

Kennedy Leigh