Male & Female Masturbation Myths Exposed

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Masturbation Month is rounding the home stretch, so it seems as good a time as any to debunk some of the myths and rumors both men and women have heard about their self-love practices. Like last week’s tips for women from Lelo, this slate of informational tidbits and tantalizing factoids comes courtesy of sex and lifetsyle (and hardcore porn) site BaDoink.

Speaking to seologist and sex educator Logan Levkoff, PhD about the male masturbatory habits, BaDoink discovered that whether single or spoken-for, satisfied or not with their relationship, males are prone to masturbate as pure force of habit or to barely-consciously attend to physical needs. Levkoff said frequency hardly matters unless it’s causing problems: “If you masturbate many times a day and you’re missing work or giving up on sex with your partner because of it, consider seeing a sex therapist.”

Masturbation might not score you an STD but it’s not always entirely safe either. Forceful bending of an erection can result in penile fracture, a painful and unsightly injury that will eventually heal, but not before repulsing any sexual partners you might be daring enough to reveal it to. (He might’ve been injured mi-coitus, not at home alone with a bottle of shampoo and a dirty sock, but just as Prince Yashua.)

Although nobody has apparently figured out the physiological reasons for it, it appears masturbation, while healthy, doesn’t offer health benefits equivalent to sexual intercourse. Sex can for men improve blood pressure, decrease pain, and improve the health of both the heart and the prostate. Apparently masturbation doesn’t quite get that far. In fact, Tobias S. Kohler, MD, MPH of Southern Illinois University School of Medicine tells us that even the makeup of ejaculate differs when coaxed via masturbation and sex, quipping “It appears that not all orgasms are created equally.”

For women, many masturbation myths also cloud feelings about pleasuring oneself, so let’s let BaDoink dash them too, huh? Here’s a three-point list of what might be done in porn but should be left out of one’s own masturbatory habits and, at the very least, never inflicted upon a woman who’s deemed you worthy of their sexual company. “Vigorous Fingering,” which leaves fingertips and pussy lips sporting a friction burn is out. Instead slide two fingers inside and curve them upwards to find a seriously erogenous area. Whether it’s lips or legs, “Spreading Them Open,” is generally a no-no. Let limbs fall where they may and don’t insist upon widening the space between your thighs just because they do it in porn. Porn’s visual; masturbation is personal. In porn, vibrators seem to induce orgasms with a very light touch and although that’s the case for some women, it’s rare. BaDoink’s Lola Lovely says she needs to hold a vibe firmly against a particularly receptive part of her genitalia for it to have any real effect. Reminding us that real masturbation is “a lot less sexy and a whole lot more frantic” than what’s portrayed in porn, Lovely reminds us of the most important rule of female masturbation: do it yourself and find what you like. Or, for guys trying to please their ladies: let her show you the ropes and follow her lead.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some laundry to do. Alone. With a bottle of shampoo and a dirty sock. Until June arrives.

Avri masturbating at FTV GirlsFTV Girls review

Boning The Boss – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comHey Missy Pink,

I need a female opinion on something, but I don’t want to talk to any of my girlfriends about this issue. I work in an office, and I’ve been there for nearly 4 years. About 14 months ago a new manager was hired, and this guy makes every part of my body tremble. He’s so hot! I try to keep it to myself, but I find myself flirting with him now, even when other co-workers are close by, I have this need for him to know he turns me on. He’s not married, but is engaged and his fiancé is beautiful and very nice. I’m 30 years old, suppose to be mature enough to handle bumps in the road, but there’s just something about this guy. Should I pursue him or just leave it to my sexual fantasies?

– Boning The Boss

Dear Friend;

There’s nothing like the imagination for making things nearly unbearable to deal with. It sounds as if you’ve become pretty bold on making your intentions known, however, the one thing you failed to tell me is, has he responded to your advances? Does he show the same type of interest in you, or is it purely one-sided? You mentioned he’s engaged, which says he has a commitment with someone else, but, has he given you signs that he’s willing to step over the boundaries of being faithful?

They way you wrote your letter almost sounded desperate, as if you have to have this man or else! And, by the question you asked of me, “Should I pursue him or just leave it to my sexual fantasies?” That told me two things immediately, the first being, you must be feeling some sort of guilt or apprehension, or you would have just acted upon your sexual attraction and never taken the time to pen your letter to me, so, there’s something gnawing at you, and, the second thing is, it’s as if you’re wanting my blessing before you charge. Well, I’m about to take away your charge card, because I cannot say, “Go get him!”
The fact you’ve not confided in your closest gal-pal speak volumes, that tells me there must be something that would bring a quick negativity from her, so, you’ve come to a friendly stranger instead. You don’t mention another thing in your letter, what your marital status is.

If I were a betting woman, I’d say your hormones are running away with you. Yes, there are times when paths cross with another person and the attraction can be astronomical, more than difficult to ignore. You’d rather toss him down on the office floor and leave rub burns on his butt while you ride him in hardcore style, and, I’m sure the image has gone through your mind to do so. I’m also willing to bet, that the feeling is not mutual, because if you’ve been hot for his body for 14 months, and you’re just now writing to me, then he’s not in the same place in time as you are, his affection is for someone else, emotional and physical.

There are times in life where dreams and fantasies can lead us to places it’s hard to return from, but, many of those times are ruined should they manifest into reality. We build up our hopes so high, that if something does truly take place, it could never measure up to the dream, and, we’re left disappointed in a way we never saw coming. So, if you want to keep the dream alive, I suggest hitting the snooze button. Keep the desires to yourself, become more professional in the office, allow him to see you as an asset to the company and not a giddy female that wants into his Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs.

Fantasies are a wonderful thing, when understood and not taken out of context, and 99.9% of the time, when not acted upon. With that being said, they would also make for wonderful masturbation material, so, stop on your way home from work and buy a pack of batteries, charge up your buzzing buddy, take a hot shower, and then get in touch with yourself, but restrict it to your bedroom and your mind.

If there’s any wetness to be felt in the office, restrict it to the water cooler!

Fed Up Female – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink;

I am so angry with my husband, I don’t even want to see him when he comes home from work today. I’ve been trying to ignore one particular fault of his for the last 8 years, but I’ve had my fill.  He thinks he’s the sexiest man in town and his actions are driving away all of our friends. Last night we had a couple over for a cook-out, and while he’s flipping hamburgers and spinning hot dogs on the grill, he flexes his muscles, puffs out his chest and does nothing but talk about how he can satisfy a woman in every possible way. If that’s the case, why am I so miserable? He brags about how I must be the happiest woman in the world to go to bed with him every night, and then he’ll have females “reach up here and feel the thickness of my bicep!” We’re down to just a few close friends that do their best to ignore his boastful way, everyone else has been driven away, and when I say something to him, he replies with, “It must be something about you, because we both know, I’m perfect!” I need advice and quick, I’m ready to pack my bags and leave him with the person he seems to love the most.

One Seriously Fed Up Female

Dear Fed-Up;

I think we all, in the course of life, have crossed paths with something that resembles your husband, and, we usually wonder who could ever put up with them on a full time basis, and why. Modesty is a fine trait to have, but, everything falls under limitations and less is more when it comes to tooting one’s own horny.

From the way your letter read, I don’t get the feeling that you see his bragging as a means of “hitting on” other women, it’s more just his egotistical attitude that has you wanting to go into your bedroom, pick up the fluffiest pillow you have, place it over your face, and scream!

Even though it may not seem to be a possibility, many times, a person that exhibits this type of persona is often a very insecure personality, so, they over compensate, which is more than annoying to have to be subjected to. Does he ever show a vulnerable side with you, in or out of the bedroom? Since his body seems to be what he worships the most, maybe that is the part of his life he’s not totally comfortable with, there’s something he feels to be a flaw, so, he tries to direct everyone’s attention to another area, so it won’t be noticed.

You did mention being miserable, and, I’m wondering if that goes for the bedroom topic as well? He seems to be so full of himself, he’s overlooking you. He presents himself as being a gift that keeps on giving, and just allowing you to be in his presence should be enough. Since his rebuttal is what it is, when you try to talk to him in regards to driving away your friends and such, he’s definitely in some sort of state of denial, and there could be a very deep rooted cause for it. It seems to be highly magnified and maybe a bit more than what you would want to try to break through yourself.

If you truly are so disgusted you don’t even want to see him, it’s time something is done before a marriage is forced to end. It’s time you sit him down and instead of telling him exactly what bothers you the most, knowing he’ll reply with the fault being you, inform him that either single or combined marriage counseling is obtained or he leaves you no choice but to pack your bags and leave him with himself, and soon, he’ll even grow weary of it. There’s a falseness of some sort living behind his words, there are issues brewing deeply and it’s never too late to get help. Changing his attitude may very well make you the happiest woman in the world, but instead of flexing his muscles, he needs to do some character building.