A Porn Empire on Roku

Pornstar Empire

Watching porn on your television has as many drawbacks and its does benefits. From your curtains not proving thick or dark enough to keep your neighbors from noticing the jiggling tithes on your giant plasma screen to format incompatibility and unexpected, unsolvable errors that plague you for weeks, really, unless you’ve stuck with DVDs and Blu-Rays, this has been one area of porn tech that has miserably failed. Thanks to Pornstar Empire, though, that failure is being rectified.

Launched on August 19th, Pornstar Empire’s streaming video channel on the Roku system allows access to more than 62,000 videos starring 6,000-plus pornstars, adding a huge archive to porn lover’s cord cutting options. With memberships to Pornstar Empire running as little as $12.50 a month and including access to Adult Empire Unlimited and Gay Empire Unlimited, both of which offer standard websites and Roku channels.

Setup is simple: add the Pornstar Empire Roku channel via the Roku website then simply start the channel on your Roku device, enter the linking code, and you’re all set to stain your living room carpet in honor of your favorite pornstars.

Look forward to a comprehensive guide to the official Roku channels of leading adult websites in the coming weeks at Mr. Pink’s. Until then, don’t forget to clean off the remote before your roommate gets home and tries to watch Stranger Things.

Back to School with Rocco Siffredi

The student debt crisis shows no signs of abating, admissions processes are more bewildering than ever, and job prospects for graduates aren’t exactly overflowing, so why on Earth would any grown adult choose to go back into the education system after finally giving it the finger? I can’t think of any reasons, but I’m sure Professor Rocco Siffredi of Universidad del Porno can.
Rocco Siffredi
That’s right, students of the sexual arts, the one and only Italian Stallion himself has moved out of performing himself and is now teaching others to follow in his immense footsteps. ‘Siffredi Hard Academy’ aims to take his approximately 30 students from eager amateurs to bona fide porno professionals who can stand with the best adult performers in the world. Why so few students? Well, this venture isn’t likely to pay for itself, so Siffredi has teamed with Italian television channel La5 and will be bringing his school to the small screen as a reality series. Each student was chosen by school administrators and given the Siffredi stamp of approval (or at least acceptance) before being allowed to enroll. Is Rocco instructing the next wave of European porno superstars or is this just a vain effort to increase his own profile now that performing if off the cards for the 51-year-old family man and multi-AVN winner? We’ll have to wait until his students have graduated, found agents, and started working, but thankfully Sensi Siffredi can be seen instructing his class on YouTube. Here we see him talking about controlling one’s own strength and (surprise, surprise) tells his students not to actually choke girls, but to instead pretend.

Rocco Siffredi made pretend sex feel real and is now teaching real folks having real sex how to pretend? Life sure does take us through some twists and turns, doesn’t it, maestro?

WoodRocket Wants David Lynch

save twin peaks

Cult television show Twin Peaks has only garnered more attention in the years since its untimely cancellation after two seasons in the early 90s. Co-creator and acclaimed filmmaker and artist David Lynch has long made it clear that the saga of Special Agent Dale Cooper and the Twin Peaks townspeople had not been entirely wrapped up. And with an October 2014 statement from Showtime announcing that the series would return in 2016 for a nine-episode run with original creators and cast members attached, fan fervor hit an all-time high. Then, six months later, Lynch withdrew from the production over budget disputes, spurring online petitions from fans and cast members alike that call for Lynch’s budgetary demands to be met because “Twin Peaks without David Lynch is like… comedic pornography without pop-culture references!”

Potentially rescuing Lynch from being embroiled in a production that doesn’t meet his needs, another offer has come in, this one from an unlikely source: WoodRocket. In an open letter to Lynch, WoodRocket director Lee Roy Myers claimed solidarity with his fellow “quirky” auteur and invited him to bring his most popular creation to the WoodRocket studios. Though it’s highly unlikely WoodRocket has Showtime-like funds to throw at the prospective series, perhaps the creative freedom would be enough to appeal to Lynch. For his part, Myers, who has said WoodRocket’s productions make Lynch’s own Eraserhead look as tame as Grease, also dropped in a few related puns and references to fan-favorite characters like Coop, Annie, and even Frank Booth from Lynch’s Blue Velvet, hoping to snag at least a few Twin Peaks fanatics for WoodRocket’s growing audience. Hell, Myers even suggests the proposed flick could delve into the mystery of the true relationship between The Log Lady and her beloved hunk of Douglas fir.