Beatin’ on a Budget! with JAV HD

JAV HD

It’s quite rare for an all-Japanese porn site or network to avoid the heavy hand of the national censors and actually distribute extremely explicit pornography, no matter how tame it may seem to us Westerners. That explicit depiction of sex acts is only one of the reasons JAV HD is a network worth your time, attention, and yes, possibly your money. There’s few other sites and network offering such a large collection of uncensored J-porn and even fewer with sites devoted to squirting, schoolgirls, MILFs and pubic muffs. So perhaps your long, exhausting search for an Asian porno wonderland is finally at an end.

JAV HD’s 13 websites all have their own focus: Pussy AV’s vaginal obsession, Hey Outdoor’s sunny beachside romps, Lingerie AV’s bra-and-pantie combos, Hairy AV’s pubically hirsute beauties, AV Stocking’s and its hosiery-covered legs, AV Anal’s devotion to rear-end plugging and playing, the hefty boobage of AV Tits, Schoolgirls HD’s uniformed student sluts, Gang AV’s gangbangers and gangbangees, the mature harlots of Hey MILF, blowjobs of Ferame, and squirting of Shiofuky, as well as with AV69’s idol-focused glamour-porn.

Equally as important as what sites are included in JAV HD’s motherly reach is how well they’re presented. All sites now offer 720p and 1080p High Definition videos as standard, also delivering 2000px photo galleries in most cases and giving its models detailed profile pages to introduce them to their newest, biggest fans. A few warnings, though, before you rush into a JAV HD membership a little too quickly: don’t expect English-language scenes or translation of Japanese dialog; don’t be surprised to find a few dupe updates across the network; and don’t go hog-wild on your downloading as a flexible monthly transfer limit is in place for all users. (See the full Mr. Pink’s JAV HD porn review for full details!)

THE MATH:
With a discount from Mr. Pink’s bringing the standard $29.95 monthly price of JAV HD membership down to only $19.95, the value of this irrepressible network only increases. With 13 sites online, each one works out to cost you only $1.42! And, with 17,000 scenes online, you’re looking at a cost-per-scene of only .117¢. That’s, like, 850 scenes for a buck, man! Throw in photo galleries and you’ve got an incredible deal that should have any J-porn fan shouting “Saikou!” from the rooftops!

 

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Mythical Tri-Boob Spotted in FL

The Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi vehicle Total Recall was released in 1990 and remade in 2012 and both movies feature the brief appearance of a woman with three breasts, an alien creature hell bent on being fondled by a three-handed man (or maybe three one-handed men). Although Kaitlyn Leeb (the actress playing the role in director Les Wiseman’s 2012 remake) courted controversy when she wandered around San Diego Comic Con with her three fake tits almost completely exposed, it took a full 14 years for someone to take such strong inspiration from the three-boobed woman that she’d attach a third breast to her own chest, going through 50 plastic surgeons before finally finding one who’d agree to the absurd procedure. The kicker, though, is that Florida massage therapist Jasmine Tridevil claims to have opted for a third breast to make herself “unattractive to men”.

toal recall 3 tits

Clearly not thinking her body modification nor the motivation behind it through very thoroughly, Tridevil seems to have forgotten that heterosexual men will do almost anything for access to a pleasing pair of breasts. For three, why, they’d attempt to colonize Mars singlehandedly. How she hopes to shirk male attention is… well… they’re fake. Obviously.

Jasmine Tridevil

Aside from videos showing off her new rack in a tri-kini, answering questions from interested parties, and claiming that the unemployed are jobless by choice alone, Tridevil’s YouTube channel fails to provide any evidence to support her claims of authentic third-boobery. What does appear, though, are links to news items refuting her claims and the following interview with Tampa’s WTSP:

I suppose we’ll find out the truth when Tridevil’s self-produced reality show is eventually picked up by MTV (which she seems convinced will happen any day now). Episode six allegedly contains footage of the “star” walking along a beach in the same tri-kini she modeled in multiple YouTube videos as well as on WTSP News, when she told reporter Charles Billi she’s willing to do anything to become famous. While Tridevil’s new appendage may remain under suspicion, she’ll have her chance to tell the whole truth when (or better said, if) her show hits TV screens everywhere.

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James Deen Keeps on Sinnin’

7sins

Last week, we ran through the first four installments of James Deen’s soon-to-be legendary feature series, James Deen’s 7 Sins: Greed, Gluttony, Lust, and Pride. Now that the final installment, Wrath, has premiered on JamesDeen.com, it’s time to wrap up this whole sordid affair before I send myself straight to the Netherworld for what I’ve seen and written.

James Deen envy

ENVY, the fifth feature in the series, details the downward spiral of pornstar Chanel Preston, whose obsession with Deen and his nubile ladyfriend Chloe Foster progresses from voyeurism to poisoning, kidnapping, and rape. After her husband ignores her advances, Preston ropes Foster into fluffing her waiting crew of gangbangers, preparing them for an airtight three-guy plug-fest that leaves Preston satisfied and Foster humiliated.

James Deen sloth

SLOTH sees Lia Lor attempting to brush her teeth after a tryst with Deen, only to find his water’s been cut off. She wades through a messy floor to join Deen, slumped on the sofa in his pajamas, and attempts to rouse him with a blowjob. Due to her partner’s disinterest, Lor’s imagination conjures up two distinct threesomes and fantasizes about another man pounding her as she rests on Deen’s lap. Only, this fantasy doesn’t seem particularly enjoyable. In fact, so heavy and dour mood in the apartment that Lor ups and leaves for something a bit brighter.

wrath

Deen’s final installment, WRATH, is the most furiously sordid of them all. With a shaven head that makes him look like a death row inmate Deen beats the crap out of Danny Wylde then tears through a gauntlet of naked female figures (many of them from porn’s current generation of supersluts), aggressively dominating each one as she comes into reach. Slamming them against the wall by the neck, slapping faces and tits, choking and suffocating them, Deen even goes so far as to pick one blonde up by inserting his fingers between her lower lips and lifting. After treating himself to all nine women over the feature’s three scenes, Deen, who’s as much a cinematic adventurer as he is a sexual one, has accomplished something truly remarkable. A seven-feature hardcore porn series that owes as much to the film work of Gordon Willis and Gaspar Noe as it does to Deen’s distributor John Stagliano and his Evil Angel empire. How ever will he top James Deen’s 7 Sins?

 

Oh, and if you’re eager to see Deen’s treatise on sexual sin, you can do so at his official website, which throughout October will donate 50% of all profits to cancer research, prevention, and treatment.

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Sinning with James Deen

jamesdeen

James Deen couldn’t possibly get any bigger, could he? I’m not talking about his more than adequate member, either, but his celebrity. After ascending to unheard of mainstream stardom thanks to his dearly devoted female fans, many of them women who’d never before found a male pornstar at all appealing, a controversial CNN interview, and a role in a controversial Bret Easton Ellis-written, Paul Schrader-directed, Lindsay Lohan-starring movie, The Canyons, it seemed America’s favorite perverted boy-next-door couldn’t do any better! So, Deen did what any performer with newfound notoriety and success did, he went all artsy on us. He shot dimly-lit, grungy features based on the seven deadly sins: greed, gluttony, lust, pride, envy, sloth, and wrath.

7sins

GREED deals with an insufferable playboy whose mansion is literally lined with naked women. Strolling past them on his way to a meeting after facefucking a trio of beauties for breakfast. After fucking his colleague (Alektra Blue) and leaving her to roam his spacious abode, Deen’s private stock of female flesh is fully unveiled, resulting in an orgy of epic proportions.James Deen greed

In GLUTTONY Deen hands full-figured Harper Hughes her first starring role and asks her to lie on a banquet table surrounded by tantalizing cuisine and copulating couples. Will she join in the wet-and-messy indulgence or remain abstinent? Whatever she chooses, you know she’ll be well taken care of by Deen and his dinner guests, all eight of them.

James Deen gluttony

For LUST, Deen hands the lead role over to Bailey Blue, who plays an insatiable (and rather inspired) nymphomaniac whose sexual exploration takes her from mundane morning sex to an alleyway anal pounding to a fantasy seven-dick roundtable laden with bondage wear and silent, dominant men. As Blue eyes some Polaroids, her fantasies again take over and she’s struggling to accommodate four rock-hard men. It’s dark and dirty in Bailey Blue’s world.

James Deen lust

PRIDE features Casey Calvert and sees her gangbanged by three suited women wearing not only Deen’s cock but his face, too. A familiar figure enters, offers a silent command, and the masked trio bends over and exposes their rears, ripe for the taking. Deen ravishes all three then proceed to – get this! – spooges on the faces of his three doppelgangers before turning his attention to Ms. Calvert. Little does he know, however, that she’ll be the death of him, quite literally.

James Deen pride

Is this the actual honest-to-Yama demise of James Deen or will he return to tackle Envy, Sloth, and Wrath? Well, according to Evil Angel’s release schedule, he will, so you’d best come back next week as I take another look at what Mr. Deen’s fevered, perverted mind has come up with. And be sure to keep an eye out for Mr. Pink’s brand new review of Deen’s official site, where you’ll find every episode of this series along with a booming archive of the world’s most famous fucker’s best work.

 

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New Sensations, New Style

New Sensations

New Sensations has long been a company that prided itself on being utterly contemporary. From its very name to its observance of porno trends – which, of late, has seen many a new series focusing on pseudo-incestuous sex, cuckolding, and BBW performers – New Sensations aims to keep its audience tickled by trend recognition while always increasing in size. Now, in much the same way a few other big name networks have done, New Sensations has redesigned its members-only website for modern use.

New Sensations

Outside it’s still the same New Sensations of old, but inside members find a shiny new layout only launched this week. A large banner greets and entices members to check out featured titles – Hey, it’s Kelly Shibari in her very own NS title! – sitting neatly above the latest updates and featured Girl of the Month – Carter Cruise, what the fuck is up, girl? – while a simple text menu lays out your browsing options and remains always available.

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Clearly designed with tablet use in mind, the new New Sensations orients page elements in a tightly packed but not overcrowded way so that, once a scene has been selected, your viewing window is not caged in by ads and content links. You’ll still find related scenes displayed beneath your selected erection-inducer, but you’re not bombarded with additional options while trying to focus on, say, Brooke Wylde’s big tits.

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As always, it’s great to see a prominent adult network keeping up-to-date with advancing technology and putting control in the hands of its members, whatever viewing platform they prefer to use when browsing one-handed New Sensations’ endless supply of awesome porn. Next up (I presume), New Sensations rejigged mobile platform! (‘Cause the current one is ugly as sin.)

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