Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – June 15th, 2016

mrpinksWe have no jetpacks and we have no tangible holographic hookups with vacuous celebrity babes, but rest assured, dear readers, we’re living in the 21st Century. And when it comes to contemporary deviancy on your computer screen, 21Sextury always comes to mind. With brand new reviews of 21Sextury, 21Naturals, and 21Sextreme this week, the whole company got worked over by Mr. Pink and now waits for your visit. The marvelous, artful, and brilliantly authentic porn of Lucie Blush and Lucie Makes Porn showed us a different path that’s just as cutting edge as anything the major studios are offering. Next week it’s going to be a whole lot wilder and more varied at Mr. Pink’s as we hit you with another dose of porno knowledge, Pink-style!

Veronica Rodriguez: Goddess of Gush

Veronica Rodriguez: Squirt Goddess

Many religions have for centuries regarded floods as difficult but ultimately positive omens of impending regeneration, change, and progress. Some have also viewed a flood or inundation as the lure of sin and temptation. In both senses, New Sensations’ latest star showcase is a flood, no question. Perhaps gearing up for a new phase of her career or simply enjoying the chance to carry her own feature, Veronica Rodriguez, everyone’s favorite Venezuelan spinner, rises above those pornstars who’ve just toyed with female ejaculation and proves herself a master squirter with few real challengers.

Under the direction of William H., Veronica throws her 95-lb frame into Veronica Rodriguez: Squirt Goddess, four fluid-filled scenes with some of the industry’s hottest women and men. And, in an added bonus, every other woman featured is a squirter, too! Released earlier this month to retail and now completely available online at New Sensations, Squirt Goddess offers fans more ejaculating pussies than most studios get to in a year. To start, in black leatherette thigh-high sock-type pantyhose, Adriana Chechik throws herself at the glammed-up Veronica in anticipation reigning AVN Male Performer of the Year Mick Blue’s arrival. After gushing over each others bodies, drinking up each others juices, and sharing all fluids freely, the moist, shining pair help themselves to Blue’s legendary talent. For once Chechik’s rear passage remains unfilled to not upstage the titular star – someone whose famously teased anal debut (“forthcoming” to her website) has not yet materialized – but the scene is no less intense without anal.

The juice bar remains open and productive-as-fuck when Japanese omnisexual deviant Marica Hase stops by to dive between Veronica’s thighs. New Sensations’ copywriters claim the gals “flood the room,” and I’m not about to challenge that assertion. (They may have been on set, after all, and have the stains to prove it!) A double-ended dildo is put to great use when the ladies’ flooded mouths and drenched bodies need a change of pace, but it’s an indulgent squirt-guzzling extravaganza here, for the most part.

Ramon Nomar is next to stop by and keep Veronica smiling, but she already looks pretty thrilled with her outfit: a jeweled ensemble consisting of head-dress, large necklace, and whatever you call those necklace-like items tied around the waist to attract the eye crotch-wards. As Ramon himself put it, “She vigorously rubbed her pussy igniting her waterworks and choked on my cock before I could dip my stick balls [sic] deep. Every few minutes of fucking had her pouring out until I emptied all my juice down her throat.” (You know, for a fairly recent immigrant to the USA, Mr. Nomar sure has a unique facility with the written English language!)

Now, personally, deciding between Veronica Rodriguez and Samantha Rone wouldn’t be hard at all, though I’m sure many of you would have great difficulty. The esteemed Ms. Rodriguez might have an eternally youthful appearance but she also has at least 12 months of experience on Rone. Maybe her blonde junior can learn a thing or two. About what, I don’t know, as it’s clear Rone’s squirting skills are already well developed. Anthony Rosano, the lucky bastard, thrusts himself into the twin torrents of juice and switches out the blonde for the Latina and vice versa. The other girl meanwhile keeps herself busy with frenetic masturbation and, yes, even more squirting.

Anal has been teased for months, if not years, by Veronica Rodriguez and her digital crew and, while most fans will undoubtedly be clamoring for that milestone to arrive, ignoring the utter liquid insanity that is Veronica Rodriguez: Squirt Goddess is to do yourself a great disservice. Just don’t forget to bring a plastic poncho.


A Hex on Condoms of Old

Condoms: some folks use and love them so much they buy stock in the manufacturer while others become and remain unhappily married just to avoid using them. The latex dick sheaths are one of our most commonly used barriers against the diseases we hate to think a partner is carrying and the unwanted pregnancies that cause emotional turmoil and worse, but they’re far from perfect. Sizing issues, discomfort, breakage, leakage, even allergic reactions have all ruined the effectiveness and enjoyability of condoms for many a user and with no truly significant advances in condom design or manufacturing arriving in recent years, it looked set to remain that way.

Enter Charlie Sheen. Since revealing himself to be HIV positive in late 2015, four years after being diagnosed, Sheen has been something of an odd poster child for protecting oneself against STDs and STIs, inadvertently driving up Google searches about condom use and effectiveness when his HIV status made international headlines. Appearing in a promotional video for Lelo, makers of fine sexual aids, Sheen speaks to his status and how it changed his world. Believing infection was simply something that would never happen to him, Sheen subtly admits to irresponsible practices and hopes that he can now urge others to put up with what “may feel like five seconds of inconvenience [but] may prevent a lifetime of potential grief and suffering.” And he’s bringing a new Lelo product with him, a stark redesign of the standard condom Lelo is calling (for obvious reasons) Hex.

Lelo claims Hex, a more durable and resilient condom that also touts greater sensation, is a bold new vision of condom engineering that address the three main issues with what we’ve all been using for decades: discomfort, slippage, and breakage. The thinnest and strongest material we have, graphene, lent its hexagonal structure to the redesign, reinforcing an ultra-thing sheath of latex to an amazing degree. Although it looks a little too similar to a penile torture device under certain light, Lelo assures would-be patrons of their IndieGoGo fundraising campaign that Hex is stronger, offers an inner raised design to cut down on slippage and maximize his pleasure, and sports ultra-thin latex panels that apparently conform to the shape of the wearer. Clearly, this is aimed to be the kind of condom that could contain even Clark Kent’s eruptions!

Lelo Hex

Although Lelo’s campaign does focus largely on comfort and pleasure – which, let’s face it, should be secondary concerns for condom wearers – the issues of safety also gets quite a few boastful mentions. As it’s fitted, Hex’s structure tessellates (or conforms to changing shape without inherent structural change) around the wearer’s member for a snug and safe fit. A fit even Sheen himself claims to be enjoying these days. A fit he also urges you to try for yourself.