Annie Cruz’s Indie Adventure

Annie CruzAnnie Cruz might be best known as one of porn’s baddest bitches – being one of Kink.com’s most impressive resident dommes will do that to your reputation – but the Filipino fuck-fiend has also got a soft spot for some good ol’ indie rock! Ex-Pavement frontman, Stephen Malkmus, with his band The Jicks and Tenacious D’s Jack Black (in acting mode) are among Cruz’s latest co-stars, but no, this isn’t an indie-rock porno. Cast in Malkmus’s latest video, “Senator”, from his Minor Traffic album, Cruz plays a suitably sexy partygoer that encounters Jack Black’s schmoozing, boozing Senatorial candidate at a party and presumably proves the songs chorus “What the Senator wants is a blowjob,” to be undeniably accurate.

“Senator”, a politically-charged tune that features such pseudo-nonsensical lines as “heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy smelter – fuck it!”, isn’t Cruz’s first flirtation with the non-mainstream edge of an industry. Since 2009 she has only been shooting scenes and photosets for her self-maintained website instead of whoring herself out to the majors – something Malkmus’s former band, Pavement, also refused to do. Even in the regularly disparaged porn business, Cruz is known her doing things her own way and being unafraid of confrontation. Her blog, Memoirs of the Damned, reads like a punk/goth slut’s defensive diatribe against the small-minded, sexually insecure, dolts who can’t handle a sexually aggressive woman making a living doing what she loves. And, like the best work of all artists, that’s some inspiring shit.

A for Anal, L for London

L for LondonHot on the heels of Asa Akira’s first double-anal scene in Elegant Angel’s Asa Akira is Insatiable 2, another fan-favorite Asian-American pornstar is giving up her rear passage, this time losing her onscreen anal virginity in the process. London Keyes, the 22-year-old from Seattle has been active since 2008 but had held out for years, resisting fans request for a hardcore boy/girl anal scene. L for London, directed by Jonni Darkko and now available online and in stores from Evil Angel, offers these fans what they’ve been waiting for. London’s first self-led feature release, L for London presents the tattooed, pierced stunner and her incredible body in nine scenes of hardcore fuck action, and the first co-stars Asa Akira herself. Initially the duo keep it sapphic with Asa taking her time stretching London’s ass with a huge black double-dong and giving her hole a tongue bath in preparation for what’s to come: Manuel Ferrara. Known for his assfucking talents, good ol’ Manny services both London and Asa beautifully, making London’s first anal scene a roaring success that simply must be seen in the 1080p High Definition format Evil Angel’s website exclusively provides.

Although such a rousing start to L for London is tough to beat, the thick-bodied beauty gives it a shot anyway. Following her anal debut with a three-guy blowbang, an interracial threesome, an anal masturbation scene aided by her director, her first pairing with the immense talent of Lexington Steele, and even bigger blowbang, a strap-on scene with Jayden Jaymes, and a double blowjob accompanied by Mia Lelani before ending on a fantastic note with a very, very sloppy deepthroat and titty-fucking scene with Darkko, complete with plenty of juicy foot-play and great POV close-ups of London’s gorgeous natural rack, there couldn’t possibly be a better way for fans of this incomparable Asian slut to enjoy her blistering sexuality.

L for London is now available in stores and online at Jonni Darkko XXX, Evil Angel and Videobox. Although the latter site is the only one of the two to offer every scene, those with Evil Angel and Jonni Darkko XXX memberships – which can be had for just $14.95 thanks to Mr. Pink’s discount – will have one new scene added each week until mid-November and, as they’re exclusively available in stunning 720p and 1080p HD resolutions from Evil Angel, all London Keyes fans should rush on over and see just how far their favorite young pornstar has come. I know I’m impressed!

The Pineapple Express Medicine Show

Pineapple ExpressPlenty of guys have been in a near-win situation only to have it cut short by their girl protesting “But it tastes like egg white and seawater!” Refusing to swallow or even taste semen isn’t that uncommon amongst sexually active women and the bitterness is often the cause of their reluctance. But wouldn’t all your mouth-fucking dreams come true if your cum tasted sweet and delicious? It has been said that drinking a few liters of pineapple juice would do the trick, but the folks at Marco Labs Inc. have come up with a solution that won’t have you pissing fragrantly for days on end, and better yet, they’ve bottled it and given it a catchy slogan: Take the Funk Out of Spunk!

Pineapple Express, a new dietary supplement intended to, simply put, make your cum taste better, was launched by Marco Labs to rousing reception at July’s AVN Novelty Expo in Pasadena California and is now on the verge of entering a brick and mortar retail space near you. So, what’s the deal and how does it work?

Packed into each Pineapple Express pill is “a mixture of protein-digesting enzymes” called proteolytic enzymes or proteases: Stem bromelain and Fruit bromelain (extracts from the plant family Bromeliaceae, of which the pineapple is one member). Allegedly, if a user were to take one pill twice a day with food, effects should be noticeable in a little as two weeks. While the company’s FAQ admits “Pineapple Express doesn’t claim to make your cum taste sweet,” and that it’s purpose is instead to remove bitterness, there are other ways to produce that same effect. Cutting down on caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, red meat, and spicy food can decrease the unpleasantness your partner might experience when you blow in her mouth. But then, bro, without such unhealthy masculine delights as beer and BBQ, where would our manhood be, huh?