‘Dreamy McMug’ Headed for Dogfart?

Have you seen this man?

Jeremy Meeks

Chances are, you’ve seen his face popping up all over the Internet after Stockton PD posted his mug shot to their Facebook page after the man, Jeremy Meeks, was picked up on weapons and gang charges in mid-June. The Facebook photo quickly racked up more than 33,000 “likes” with netizens apparently finding much to admire about the chiseled jaw, high cheek bones, tattooed neck and steely blue eyes of the convicted felon. Picked up as part of Operation Ceasefire, designed to slow the Stockton area’s recent rise in shootings and armed robberies, Mr. Meeks is now being held on $900,000 bail and is facing severe jail time – but, as always, there’s a silver lining: porn!

After Los Angeles modeling agency Blaze Modelz has offered Meeks a management contract that Blaze claims could net him a breezy $15-to-$30,000 a month. Unfortunately for Blaze, this particular bad boy also received an offer from a film production company, a $100,000 performance contract that would only require Meeks to turn up and shoot two scenes each month. The catch? The company is Dogfart, the infamous purveyors of interracial porn and creators of such porno properties as Watching My Mom Go Black and Interracial Blowbang and one of the most notorious production houses in all of adult entertainment.

“We think Jeremy’s look is absolutely perfect for our network and would love for him to consider our offer in becoming Dogfart’s first male contract performer,” a Dogfart spokesperson told AVN. Although Meeks is rumored to have snatched up his offer of mainstream modeling work (dependent, of course, on his freedom from incarceration), Dogfart’s offer not only has a higher dollar figure than the “straight” gig, but could see Meeks extend his newfound fame to an audience of porn-loving women; or, conversely, he could bring a huge new audience to porn. “This is a great opportunity for Jeremy… a great salary and a new start for him to help provide for his family.” Dogfart’s spokesperson boasted, omitting the benefits his company would reap. “The women of the world want to see him, shirt off and balls deep, and we are ready to make the dreams of hundreds of thousands of horny women and one man looking for a new start come true.”

Hah! And they say The American Dream™ is dead!

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Dani Daniels Gets Blacked

Blacked.com

With a fairly recent popularity surge propelling pornographic depictions of anal sex, double-penetrations, fisting, BDSM, and other “extreme” acts to an enormous global audience, it’s kinda surprising that a young woman can start out in porn refusing anal, group, and even interracial sex without stopping her career dead. Although recently retired, Shanghai-born Alina Li recently became a hot commodity in the industry through nothing more than attractiveness and enthusiastic fucking. For a calendar year, Ms. Li shot fairly tame hardcore scenes and only saw her star rise to new heights, unlike some performers doing anal right out of the gate and soon falling into low demand. Putting Ms. Li’s ascension to stardom to shame, however, is Dani Daniels, a 24-year-old Californian who started out slow (in porno tems, anyway) in girl-only scenes before eventually stepping into the hetero hardcore spotlight some two years later. Now, after almost a year riding some of porn’s most impressive penises, she’s tackling something every size queen dreams about: a gigantic black dick.

Dani Daniels interracial

Not only making her first appearance on brand-new interracial themed hardcore site Blacked, but also fucking her very first black dude (onscreen, anyway), the bisexual, girl-preferring Ms. Daniels is indulging one of the most requested scenarios for young white female performers and engaging in interracial intercourse. Why is this a big deal? Who cares if Daniels fucks white guys, black guys, Mongolian women, or effigies of Arnold Palmer? Apparently, the fans do (a great deal), but it took the unique approach of Blacked to convince Ms. Daniels the time was right.

Dani Daniels Deeper, now in production, sees director Greg Lansky guide Daniels, whom he calls “truly talented” and “a true star,” through her Blacked showcase scene and first interracial endeavor. Daniels joins Keisha Grey and Cherie Deville as Blacked’s first-timers and, given her history of incredibly passionate performances, could very well blow those two out of the water. But it’s not all fun and games for Daniels. Her reasons for indulging are a little more serious: “I love the look of Blacked. I love how Blacked captures real passion. Real desire. Real lust. That’s what I wanted and I knew Blacked would deliver. I am on a sexual journey and this project is an important part of it.” I, for one, can’t wait to see where that journey heads to next.

Dani Daniels Deeper is set to debut on Blacked.com sometime this fall.

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Not So Good Vibrations – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMs. Pink,

When my girlfriend and I began to get serious about one another, we talked about our past sexual relationships and were completely open with each other. She hadn’t been with anyone for nearly four years, after coming out of an abusive relationship, before meeting me. We click well together, and have for almost eighteen months. Our sex life has become more infrequent and when I asked her about it last weekend, she said sex just doesn’t excite her anymore, she loves me for me and not the orgasm. I love her too, but, I still need the orgasm, but I didn’t want to make her do something she didn’t want to do. A few days ago, while she was at work and I have the week off, I decided to start on some remodeling projects we’d talked about, I thought that would put her into a better frame of mind. As I started taking things from drawers to move cabinets and such, I began finding a collection of sex toys. There were dildos and vibrators hidden in the bathroom and then I found more in our bedroom and even in the kitchen! I feel like she’s cumming, she just doesn’t want company when doing so! I don’t know how to feel.

Not So Good Vibrations

Dear Not-So-Good,

First and foremost, don’t let your treasure hunt for toys cast a shadow on your manhood, I truly don’t believe that’s what you’re dealing with.

You said before meeting your girlfriend she’d not been intimate with anyone for quite a few years, which tells me, she probably utilized the act of solo masturbation as her release from tension, and sexual arousal, which, as we all know is nothing to be ashamed of, or considered taboo. That was her avenue for satisfaction, she may have found personal comfort in the self induced pleasure, and, it could be, she’s grown so accustom to that – that is her go to comfort zone. We can be creatures of habit in many ways. There is a large part of the female population that’s unable to achieve orgasm through hardcore intercourse, and for each of those women, the cause is just as individual, but, for some, it’s all in what you become use to.

Your girlfriend, by your own sharing of information, came out of an abusive relationship, and, with masturbation, it’s done on your own timing, your own place, and means, without the thought of letting yourself down or your lover, it’s just those few minutes of stolen excitement and pleasure that keeps a world turning.

If you haven’t approached her yet about the sex toys you found…don’t. She’ll be humiliated, embarrassed and possibly even angry, which will cause other issues within your relationship. Give her time, romance her, sweep her off of her feet, let her know how much you care emotionally and the physically may begin to feel more appealing to her. If you love her, then it’s time to exercise patience. You may be taking matters into your own hands until things either work out, or otherwise, so, buy a few extra batteries and toss them into your junk drawer, in case she needs them, and maybe pick up a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues for yourself.

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A Dildo for Every Shape and Size

Finding a good physical match between two people – a partnership where each others’ body seems to perfectly conform to the other and mutual pleasure abounds – can be a fucking nightmare. You find yourself charmed by an attractive young lady only to later realize she’s too short to kiss mid-coitus or find yourself unable to hold her weight for some standing sex. She, for her part, might find your erection underwhelming, oddly shaped, or too large. (The rest of your body might have other problems, too.) Now, with the advent of consumer-grade 3D printing technology, those after the perfect penile substitute can design one to suit their specific physical demands. Guys and (especially) gals, I give you Dildo Generator.

dildo generator

Offering customization of height, volume, diameter, color, angle, and flexibility, Dildo Generator offers the easily embarrassed and sexually frustrated a chance to create a dildo of their own specifications without wandering into a seedy XXX emporium and asking if they stock penis molds and how an unnamed “friend” might go about making a perfect replica of their genitalia. The designs can be printed at no cost if the designer has access to a 3D printer or they can be ordered from one of the many 3D printer-equipped Hackerspaces in Berlin. The full kit, which costs €69 (approx. $94 USD), includes your custom-created mold and a silicone dildo of the finished phallus, though a mold-only option is available for €49 ($67 USD).

The programmer responsible for Dildo Generator, Berlin-based Ikaros Kappler, told Vice’s Motherboard of his desire to offer something a bit more risque than “small figurines to put on your windowsill,” saying the idea came to him while he was drinking beer and relaxing with some buddies. (Of course.) Kappler’s creation makes him one of the first to offer a truly customizable sex toy manufacturing engine, a step up from existing 3D-printed sex toy producers making more generic or esoteric products.

Mr. Pink's dildo

Personally, I couldn’t help but use Dildo Generator to create a little something in my own image. You know… something big, pink, and upstanding. Feel free to download the mold (available here in stl format) and, if you have access to a 3D printer, produce your very own semi-official Mr. Pink’s dildo. Just don’t send me details on its use unless you’re a) of legal age, b) female, c) a selfie-taker, and d) willing to see your masturbation reports in print on a future Mr. Pink’s blog. Deal?

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Bing the Porn Search King!

Google. Google. Google. That’s all you fucking hear these days. You ask some local buddy with decent taste if they can recommend a restaurant and they grab their phone, start typing, then regurgitate some shit spat out by the net’s most beloved search engine without even checking to see if it’s worthwhile. Pretty much the only time most Internet users believe Google to be anything other than a lifeline connecting them to the very fabric of the modern world is when it comes to porn. Look up some porn on Google and let me know if you find anything worthwhile. Yes, I’ll wait.

search comparison

“Sunny Lane blowjob pov” typed into Google and Bing’s respective search fields (with SafeSearch turned completely off) saw results that are definitely not as similar as one might assume. Google returned results in a text-only mess of links to illegal tube sites with brief low quality videos. Bing, on the other hand, included a few such tube sites but also returned in second position a direct link to Sunny’s official website, home to high-quality photos and HD videos. The most pleasing element of Bing’s returned search results, though, is the use of images. Links to video streams, official previews and trailers, and online galleries are offered in thumbnail form. These small pics are pixilated for censorship reasons, yes, but once SafeSearch is disabled, you’re led to a tantalizing menu of Sunny’s best work. Google, on the other hand, returned its results as text links and, when Google Images and Google Video results were selected, we found not the useful graphic links to actual content provided by Bing, but image links leading to pop-ups, advertising barrages, and dead pages. Hardly the stellar work we’ve come to expect from the world’s leading search engine. But then, back in 2012 Google altered its search algorithms to filter out explicit content the company claims might not be the intended result of the search. (Searching “boobs” gets you clothed breasts; more specifically, “hot sexy naked boobs tits fuck” gets you nudity.) Search for simplified sexual terms at Bing, however, and your results are much easier on the eye. See?

search for boobs

And, if this gif by Redditor is on the right track, Bing might also be a workplace built on communal expressions of sexual pleasure, which would make their fondness for – or at least acceptance of – pornographic material that much more of a relief. It’s conjecture that suggests Bing’s employees are, after all, just wankers like us.

bing workplace
 

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