Beatin’ on a Budget! with Naughty America

Naughty America

Home to such legendary sites as My Friend’s Hot Mom, Dirty Wives Club, Naughty Office, Housewife 1-on-1, and Latin Adultery, Naughty America has since 1998 been regarded by fans and critics alike as one of the leading US porn studios and websites. Now seeing recent star turns by relative newcomers like Kleio Valentien, Bonnie Rotten, Siri, and Valentina Nappi appearing alongside the busty MILFs that made NA’s name, and following the launch of a brand-new all-anal site (My Girl Loves Anal), the unveiling of new membership payment options (Bitcoin, gift cards), the increasing number of stunningly detailed 4K-resolution HD movies, and a spring sale, Naughty America is harder to resist than ever before.

THE MATH:
Naughty America’s 38 websites cost a measly 46c each if you take advantage of NA’s current spring membership sale. The collected works of Naughty America’s sites – totaling 3,454 scenes and roughly the same number of photo galleries – have a delightfully low cost-per-scene of only 50c. If you’re somewhat reluctant to throw down the discounted $17.76 for a full month’s membership, Naughty America also offers a three-day limited-access trial for $1.95 that might not give you access to everything, but makes for one fantastic preview.

The birds are out and chirping, the snow has started to melt, and falling icicle fatalities are on the decline, so why not celebrate spring’s arrival by staying indoors, closing the curtains, and emigrating to the real land of sexual opportunity: Naughty America.

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Bitcoin vs Goat

BitcoinHaving outlined the various adult entertainment companies now accepting payment via controversial cryptocurrency Bitcoin in a previous missive, I’m pleased to announce that we’ve covered the less hilarious parts of the discussion and we can now turn our attention to goats.

Goat

In a move that surprised everyone (except perhaps those lifelong goat herders who’ve spent hours upon hours attempting to elucidate their fellow man as to the appeal of Capra aegagrus hircus, the domestic goat), Zero Tolerance announced that it would not be joining the ranks of Bitcoin-adopting adult websites and, in fact, that it was far more likely to start taking and making payments in horned livestock than in any faddish cryptocurrency. And it kinda makes sense, too. After all, with the largest Bitcoin market offline (Silk Road).

As Zero Tolerance’s Michael Mpahlca declared in his pseudo-manifesto, “We have ‘Zero Tolerance’ for make-believe money that spikes or craters in value on an hourly basis. On the other hand, goats have proven to have real value for centuries and can easily be traded for other goods or services in just about every region of the world.” (So, goats rule in Vietnam then?) Mpahlca continued his missive: “When you look at the relevant livestock pricing index you can also quickly see that the goat market, unlike Bitcoins, moves for intelligible reasons grounded in logical and trackable analytics – something all prudent online adult companies take seriously in our planning.”

While the usefulness, even necessity of goats has long been thought to have an impending expiration date, this particular horned livestock has, according to AVN, “remained one of the most efficient methods of clearing fields, providing milk or calming other animals.” Mpahlca confirms ZTOD’s stance on payments made with goats in the final lines of his statement, easing the minds of affiliates and colleagues everywhere. “When someone sends their traffic to ZTOD, they will get paid every penny, euro, or goat they are entitled to – every time – and neither their hard-earned revenue no ours will be subjected to the rampant speculation and market fluctuation that plagues the Bitcoin world.”

Bleat that, Bitcoin!

Langohrziege

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Our Fading Erotic Heritage

Erotic Heritage Museum, Las Vegas

A number of years ago, during one of my numerous and brief jaunts to Sin City, one tall-standing sign caught my attention in a way that the others, overloaded with neon script and flashing lights, did not. “Las Vegas Erotic Heritage Museum,” it read, “SALE: Movies from $1.” As a devoted connoisseur of all things pornographic, I immediately pulled over, parked, and headed inside where I was not only met by a cavalcade of erotic memorabilia, ephemera, and, yes, discounted movies, but by a heavy-set woman (perhaps Mercedes Zavala) intent on showing me “the goods.” Hardly a come-on, thankfully, “the goods” were two shambolic boxes pulled from a rear store room and containing nothing but vintage 8mm and Super8 porn reels. Straight, gay, kink, and softcore – I bought all 40-odd titles for less than fifty bucks and headed back to California with the acquisition of an operating projector firmly planted in the front of my mind.

The reels I purchased, now running somewhat smoothly through a Goodwill-bought projector, provided the audio-visual entertainment for a handful of drunken late-night gatherings and were stored in a spare mini-fridge when not in use. (Why a refrigerator? See my recent blog about film restorers Vinegar Syndrome!) Although I eventually tossed the mini-fridge and sold the reels to a projectionist from San Francisco’s Castro Theatre, memories of my all-too-brief visit to the Erotic Heritage Museum lingered for years until I heard of the museum’s closing this week, apparently due to an unpaid rent dispute with landlord, Déjà Vu strip-club magnate Harry Mohoney who donated the land for museum use back in 2008. Speaking to the Las Vegas Weekly, Mohoney assured visitors that the museum would not be closing its doors for good, saying of his now-former tenants, “They have been asked to vacate the property so that the Erotic Heritage Museum can be given a fresh new look at erotic history and art.”

Museum operations manager Jerry Zientara, however, see things a bit differently, claiming the museum’s collection is under the stewardship of the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, the nonprofit organization that opened and has been operating the museum since its inception. “We don’t know when we’ll be loading things out,” he told Las Vegas Weekly earlier this month, “but we do expect to be doing that.” And, true to his word, a call for volunteers to help with removal of exhibits and cleaning of the space came out from the museum’s Facebook account on February 16, followed three days later but this very sad notice:

Erotic Heritage Museum closes in Las Vegas

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Waiting To Watch – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

This is going to sound like one of the oddest questions you’ve ever gotten, but here goes nothing. My wife and I, after 20 years of marriage have gotten pretty stale. We both work outside of the home, but, for some reason we go our own ways, no conversation, barely any sex, just a routine that we both have gotten tired of. She was reading an article to me the other day from one of her woman magazines about cuckolding. I’d never heard of it, but she is quite interested. I’m not sure if she’s just looking for a way to have sex with someone else, or, if she’s warming up to a fetish lifestyle. I admit, I’m a bit submissive for the most part, and it does intrigue me. Is this kinky way of living healthy for a relationship?

- Waiting To Watch

Dear Friend,

First of all, let me say this, no one can say if cuckolding or any other form of sexual pleasure is considered healthy for a relationship, no one can answer that but the people directly involved. I will say, talk it through thoroughly with your wife, play out every possible scenario you can think of, the actions and reactions, and even when you think you’ve come to grips with what it will be like, think a little harder, because it will be more powerful than what you have forming in your mind when it comes to the reality.

You said you’re a bit submissive, which, I can see where that would play into things, but, actually not as much as you think. When a person thinks of being submissive, images of being tied to the bed, blindfolded, being led around by a choker collar to service the dominating person that has you performing oral sex upon them, and orgasm denial for yourself come to mind. There’s more to being a cuckold than just sitting, being humiliated and controlled by another person. This is your spouse, someone you’ve grown very accustom to in the last 20 years, giving her body to another person while you watch, that takes more than just a submissive mind frame.

Granted, this lifestyle, along with swinging and other fetish criteria does appeal and work very well for many couples. They find it enhances their relationship in ways that make them much stronger and durable, but, something tells me, a small percentage of them just happened to come across a magazine article and were ready to jump into it while discussing the weather over a morning cup of coffee. If you’ve never thought of your wife being one that could enjoy hardcore excitement with another person in front of you, then, something may have changed somewhere, and you need to explore deeper than just the notion of a wild sexual act.

I’m not saying for you to partake, and I’m not saying for you to avoid, I’m merely advising you to be certain this is something you both feel equally comfortable with, because this is one of those instances, once it’s done, there’s no undoing what’s happened. So, proceed carefully and slowly, and should you both come to a mutual agreement that cuckolding is in your near future, then I’d say, get comfortable and enjoy the show!

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Vinegar Syndrome to Launch “Netflix of Porn”

Consenting AdultsAs Martin Scorsese works and campaigns for the preservation the most neglected titles in our global cinematic history, so follows Vinegar Syndrome, a Connecticut-based company whose interest in film preservation has a distinctly risque element: it’s vintage porn. Named after a type of celluloid decay that destroys film prints, leaving little but scrap pieces of negative or positive and a distinctly acidic odor, Vinegar Syndrome, which was recently profiled in the New York Times, is a home video company focusing on the erotic, the risque, the exploitation, and the pornographic films of yesteryear.

Having already launched their line of remastered digital, DVD, and Blu-Ray releases (including the monumental dual-format release The Lost Films of Herschell Gordon Lewis), Vinegar Syndrome (or Vin Syn to its friends) has spent months readying itself and its fans for a new way to watch vintage porn and erotica in the highest possible quality… instantly.

Skinaflix aims to cut out the middle-man and allow you to view fully restored and remastered erotica classics from the comfort (and privacy) of your own living room. Now inviting users to try the service prior to launch, Skinaflix will soon providing a streaming what the New York Times described as “older X-rated films but geared toward cinephiles.” Whether this service will lead to a rush of competition or fades into irrelevancy sooner than anticipated remains to be seen. So too, thankfully, does a huge and increasing archive of beautifully restored, brilliantly HD-mastered classics like Good Luck Miss Wyckoff, Graduation Day, Sugar Cookies, Last House on Dead End Street, and The Telephone Book. Kudos, Vinegar Syndrome, you surely are doing the Lord’s work.

To see what Vinegar Syndrome and Skinaflix has in store for users, check out this trailer for Vin Syn’s recent restored Blu-Ray release of 1979′s Good Luck, Miss Wyckoff.

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