Gettin’ Sexy at the Spa

Pornstar Spa at Bang BrosMassage porn has been blowing up the cyberwaves of late and it seems like any adult network worth its bandwidth is hastily cobbling together some kind of massage-related hardcore site to keep up with customer demands. Reality Kings has Happy Tugs, an Asian themed massage site; Porn Pros has Massage Creep; Brazzers hosts Dirty Masseur; WTF Pass has HD Massage Porn; and Teen Mega World has Tricky Masseur. Merely scraping the surface and keeping ourselves limited to networks only, no standalone sites, we’ve already gathered all the evidence needed to confirm that massage porn is set to follow parodies just as ska and so-cal punk followed grunge and alterna-rock. The best massage porn site of all, however, is the one with the strongest roster of models laying down and letting some lucky and manually dexterous “masseuse” run his filthy mitts all over their incredible bodies. That site, dear readers, is Pornstar Spa.

Under the watchful eye of the infamous Bang Bros, Pornstar Spa has grown from a seedling of an idea of a concept to one of the most thrilling sites on the entire Bang Bros network – and, man, is that saying something! The latest addition to the Pornstar Spa roster, which already includes more than two dozen incredible pornstar babes, is French/Vietnamese legend of the adult entertainment industry, frequent sparring partner of Manuel Ferrara and Rocco Siffredi, and multiple AVN Award winner, Katsuni. One quick gander at the previews of Katsuni’s Pornstar Spa scene and you’ll see why this site is so damn hard to turn away from: her luscious physique is captured in evocative low camera angles, making it feel like she’s right there in front of you. Lathered with oils and laying on a physiotherapy table, Katsuni’s body has rarely looked better than it does here, and that’s even before anything profoundly sexual occurs. You can imagine how thrilling it gets once she realizes this handyman is here to take care not just of her muscular tension, but her sexual tension, too.

So, you’re not a Katsuni fan? As difficult as that is for this writer to comprehend, we must respect all tastes. Just try and avoid finding an incredibly well-built babe who you wouldn’t turn to murder just to get your hands on for a few measly seconds within this list of Pornstar Spa performers: Vicki Chase, Lisa Ann, Amy Reid, Brynn Tyler, Diamond Kitty, Capri Cavalli, Jennifer Dark, Nicole Aniston, Phoenix Marie, Rachel Starr, Madison Ivy, Kelly Divine, Samantha Saint, Nikki Sexx, Mason Moore, Sophie Dee, Lylith Lavey, Katie Kox, Francesca Le, Vanilla DeVille, Abbey Brooks, Venice, Jayden Jaymes, Richelle Ryan, Sienna West, Tiffany D. Gore, and the incomparable (even after such a disappointing boob-job) Rebeca Linares.

Well, readers, did you ever see a more stellar lineup of physiques in one place in the history of adult entertainment? Yeah, thought not.

Ms. Cleo

Ms. CleoCaller??? Mr. Pink’s Wacky, Strange, Bizarre, Curious, and often Downright Funny Porn Star name of the week brings you Ms. Cleo.

First thing that came to my mind when I spotted the name of this thick ass honey was those hilarious late-night Psychic Readers Network infomercials featuring the “psychic” Miss Cleo. You know the one that claimed she was from Jamaica but was born in LA. I miss those infomercials.

Back to Ms. Cleo. I spotted Ms. Cleo on the Bang Bros Network site Brown Bunnies in an outrageous scene that is just as memorable as those Miss Cleo infomercials. Ms. Cleo stuffs her entire body and XL booty into a shopping cart and gets rammed, slammed, and stuffed by thick dicked Shorty Mac. Great stuff all around for all you guys out there who lust after phat ass fucking! MrPinks.com has awarded you, Ms. Cleo, with this weeks edition of Mr. Pink’s Wacky, Strange, Bizarre, Curious, and often Downright Funny Porn Star name of the week! Let’s go shopping!

The Goat, The Van, The Pornstar & His Buddy

Ramon at Bang Bros

It is a generally accepted rule that, at some point in their career, every pornstar will have a run in with Johnny Law. Whether something slight (Mary Carey touching herself while stripping in Washington state) or truly horrifying (Brian Surewood being sentenced to 11 years for vehicular manslaughter), each and every pro fucker seems to tangle with NY, SF, or LAPD. The arrest on Monday of Bang Bros’ resident donkey-dick, however, has porn professionals a little lost for words. Ramon (real name Raul Armenteros) and a pal confessed to being the owners of eight roosters, four guinea hens, four pigeons, four goats, and a duck, all of which were left sweltering without water or ventilation inside a van on a steamy Miami Monday morning. The animals were discovered by Miami Police after passers-by alerted the authorities to what they thought were the sounds of a trapped, crying baby. All four of the goats were “tied up in plastic bags” and one had sadly shuffled off this mortal coil to that great grass patch in the sky.

Personally, I have a soft spot in my heart for animals and although we don’t know the entire story behind this atrocity, this deplorable act once again paints the adult industry in a negative light. I can only assume (and hope) that the crew behind Bang Bros had no part in this as I do worry this might hurt their business, which I really hope it does not. It’s not their fault and the Bros shouldn’t be responsible for what this jackass does on his own free will. What do you think should happen to Raul aka “Ramon”? Should he be fired from Bang Bros? Should they remove the scenes featuring Ramon and his monster cock? Let your voice be heard.