Joanna & BA Enter the MMA Parody Fray

ronda arouseme

Burning Angel’s head honcho, Joanna Angel, is known not only for her hardcore performances and heavily modified physique, but also for her deft handling of pop-culture properties many other pornographers would simply dismiss as too unsexy or unfilmable to bother trying to turn into a sexy onscreen romp. After tackling the Grinch, The Addams Family, The Jason Ellis Show, The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Z-grade alien movies, and Evil Dead, it’s clear Ms. Angel and co. can turn any subject into hilarious and incredibly sexy alt.porn. It was only a matter of time, then, before the infamous director lent her hand to one of America’s favorite (and most brutal) pastimes: mixed martial arts or MMA, specifically the remarkable achievements of undefeated UFC Women’s Bantamweight Champion of the world, ‘Rowdy’ Ronda Rousey.

Casting fan-favorite mainstream crossover sensation Kleio Valentien as the 28-year-old Olympic medal winner and current world number one, Angel found a fighting fit champ all her own who could easily square up against any other woman in the business. For the flick she’s calling Ronda ArouseMe, Angel also cast Arabelle Raphael, Derrick Pierce, Moe “The Monster” Johnson, and Sammie Sixx in the crucial role of Rousey’s early rival “Miesha Taint” (as in Tate). And word, it seems, has been getting around. Not only has Angel’s upcoming parody been previewed in mainstream press publications NY Daily News, Toronto Sun, Complex, AskMen, and Daily Dot, but Ms. Angel was interviewed personally by TMZ Sports about the production’s origins and the fight-inspired moves learned by the cast in training.

Later speaking to AVN, Angel said she was overwhelmed by the attention. “It’s been so exciting. I think all of Ronda’s fans—and all of Kleio’s fans—will love this movie. I’m trying to get it edited as soon as possible so everyone can see it. It will premiere on BurningAngel.com in the near future.” Hey, Joanna, don’t get me wrong, I’m loving your recent Burning Angel efforts (Making the Band and Uber Mistake especially), but this next super-graphic, boundary-pushing porno epic really can’t come soon enough – and I’m not even a fight fan!

Until Ronda ArouseMe sees release via Burning Angel, you’ll find teases and previews all over Joanna and Kleio’s Twitter and Instagram feeds, which is where I found this image, just a little something to send every sport-bra-lover into a state of drooling incoherence. Have fun!

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Burning Angel’s Pale Girls

Burning Angel

Sitting in the back of the bus on a school trip during the most sexually interested (and therefore frustrated) years of high school, a female classmate asked me what I found attractive in or on a woman. Not wanting to offend present company, I hesitated. Pressing me for an answer (and lest I be declared unwaveringly homosexual), I started rattling off a list of things about the opposite sex that appealed to me. “Wit, intelligence, brown eyes, pale skin…” I was immediately interrupted and declared a roaring racist simply because I expressed a fondness for women with a ghostly pallor. Had my classmate let me finish, she would’ve learned that, not only was I not a white supremacist, I was basically down to fuck as many wildly different women as possible, her (a freckled Episcopalian redhead) included. Leave it to counter-cultural porno icon Joanna Angel to avenge what I saw as the grossest misidentification of a supposed racist than Elvis Costello’s drunken barroom insult of Ray Charles.

Vera DrakeBurning Angel’s latest full-length hardcore endeavor, entitled Pale Girls, stars five melanin-deficient alt.pornstars and five of the most solid male performers in the business in scenes of wild, aggressive release. While the men (Mick Blue, Mr. Pete, Tomrry Pistol, Erik Everhard, Mark Wood) remain largely tattoo- and piercing-free, the ladies – Severin Graves, Madison Moon, Mabel, Draven Starr, and newcomer Vera Drake – not only bare their smooth, milky-white skin but prove it to be the perfect canvas for the dark, even disturbing tattoos for which the Burning Angel girls have become known.

The Joanna Angel-directed Pale Girls has yet to be given a street date, but all performers are featured on the Burning Angel website in scenes that may or may not make the final DVD cut (which also includes a BTS video, photo galleries, and trailers).

Burning Angel: fightin’ for (really white) whiteys since ’02.

Joanna Angel & Gigolos Launch Pants!

Some weeks ago, Burning Angel head honcho and figure head Joanna Angel launched her latest multimedia endeavor. Compared to the punk rock entrepreneur’s previous business ventures, though, this one is almost completely lacking in cumshots aimed at tattoos, filthy bathroom sex, and plundered assholes. Joanna Angel & The Gigolos, a self-described hardcore punk party band featuring Angel and two former members of Fenix TX), previewed their new single ‘Gimme Some Pants’ a few weeks back but (in true punk practice) only just now got around to finishing off the video and tossing it online. And, in all its glory, here it is:

Delivered with Joanna’s trademark sass and knowing wink, ‘Gimme Some Pants’ channels The Runaways, The Cars, and, strangely enough, Midnight Oil while still keeping that Burning Angel irreverence at peak operational capacity. In between discotheque decor and much humorous prancing and trying on of trousers, Joanna and director Mike Quasar even manage to inject the video with a handful of preview clips for Burning Angel’s upcoming feature, Band Sluts. Also starring Annika Amour, Nikki Hearts, Arrabelle Raphael, Draven Star, and (Mr. Pink favorite) Veruca James, Band Sluts sees Joanna and her bandmate Tommy Pistol (the Jack to her rack-tastic Meg White) set off on a tour in search of fame, fortune, and fornication. It’s three hours of carnality and guitar-twangin’ as Band Sluts cements the mockumentary as Burning Angel’s go-to feature format and ensures no porn fan will be able to think of hardcore sex and hardcore rock ‘n’ roll without Joanna Angel’s winking face and winning figure popping into their mind’s eye.

Joanna Angel & The Gigolos’ video ‘Gimme Some Pants’ can now be seen and heard and purchased all around the ‘net. Band Sluts is out now from Burning Angel.