Joanna Angel’s AVN Nom Haul

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Joanna Angel’s 13th year as the driving force behind Burning Angel has seen the company nestled comfortably among the most interesting and inventive porn outfits working today, even after outside challenger Wood Rocket appeared with total lunacy as their M.O. Now, with nominations announced for the 2016 AVN Awards and her an allegedly abusive former flame now exposed to his previously adoring public (more on that soon), Ms. Angel’s 2015 seems to be ending quite beautifully indeed. And it’s not just one or two crucial nominations that should have all at Burning Angel popping bottles and laughing in the face of their most paltry competitors, alt.porn johnny-come-latelys, and would-be indie-porn revolutionaries, but an incredible 28 nominations for her and her Burning Angel cohorts. What did BA do this year that deserves such recognition? Well, quite a lot, actually.

Angel, who’s also due to co-host the 2016 AVN Awards with Anikka Albrite come January, saw herself snag individual nominations for Best Director – Parody (for Making the Band), Best Web Director, Mainstream Star of the Year (which, if won by our favorite punk rock pornstar, would signify quite the sea change in public perception of “alternative” style and identity in porn), Best Porn Star Website, and, In a featured but clothed role, Best Non-Sex Performance (Dirty Deeds for Wicked Pictures). Along with fellow scribes D Nothing, Kara Pond, and Randy Stoker, Angel was recognized for her inspired writing of Dude, Am I a Slut? and Killer Kleavage from Outer Space. Throw in a nod for her part in Making the Band’s incredible rock ‘n’ roll orgy (Best Group Sex Scene) and Joanna’s doing pretty god damn well for herself this season.

Not to be overshadowed by its creator and guiding light, Burning Angel racked up a slew of nominations: two for Best Amateur/Pro-Am Movie (It’s My First Time and It’s My First Time 2), Best Anal Series and Movie (for Rock and Roll in My Butthole 5 and the series it belongs to), Best Anthology Movie (Fuckabilly 3: Pin-Up Pussy), two for Best Comedy (Killer Kleavage again, and Slumber Party Sluts, Best Continuing Series for POV Punx, Best Interracial Movie (Big Black Dicks and Tattooed Chicks 2), and, among a handful of others, Best Marketing Campaign – Individual Project for the headline-grabbing Ronda ArouseMe: Grounded and Pounded. Special mention should also go to Twin Peeks (aka Tommy Pietch), Burning Angel’s resident makeup genius, nominated twice this year for Best Makeup for his remarkable work on Killer Kleavage and Comic Book Freaks & Cosplay Geeks, both of which saw him turn everyday pornstars into the bizarre (and bizarrely arousing) creatures. And comic convention attendees.

Ever the gracious recipient of accolades, Angel had this to say in response to her and her company’s nominations: “I am incredibly happy that our nominations spanned over so many different categories. In addition to our parodies and our features, our Pro-Am releases, our POV movies and one of my favorite all- sex lines that we have, Rock and Roll in my Butthole was given attention,” Angel has said. “BurningAngel has been a labor of love for me for the past 13 years and I am so thankful for the success we have. I look forward to a kick ass show in January!”

Fan voting has opened at AVN HQ and if you’ve been as impressed as I with the output of Joanna Angel and her merry band of fucking freaks during 2015, why not show your support by casting your votes accordingly.

Ronda Rousey’s Slippery Sex Tips

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She may be one of the most Googled female athletes in recent memory, and world champion in her chosen sport, a Hollywood player with mainstream movie cameos, and now the author of a sex and dating advice column for men’s mag Maxim, but Ronda Rousey probably shouldn’t be dispensing sex tips or criticizing others practices until she’s learned a few things about the variability of human sexual response.

Telling Maxim reader “Jack, 36, Los Angeles” that using lubricant is a sign of sexual inadequacy, impatience, and disregard for a woman’s arousal is just plain irresponsible. Italicizing her response because she’s so damn sure it’s correct, Rousey says “You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy.” So every post-menopausal woman who suffers from vaginal dryness has a lazy lover? Those couples dealing with sexual anxiety or a disconnected physical response or under the haze of a nice strain of cannabis sativa might also find the lower regions a little less moist than your average folks.

Though the idea that any guy reaching for a tube to lube his partner isn’t taking his time has an iota of validity, there’s always those guys and couples who prefer longer bouts of intercourse, something lube no doubt helps extend without rawness and irritation ruining an epic coital congress. And then, Ms. Rousey, there’s the marvelous world of anal intercourse, something that would hardly be comfortable enough to pursue without the aid of additional lubrication.

Dudes, Maxim readers, sexually active humans… Don’t listen to Ronda. Load up on lube and see how smooth your sex life can be. And, if you must listen to Ronda, at least listen to Kleio Valentien as Ronda ArouseMe in Burning Angel’s hit porn parody. Trust me, it lasts longer than most Rousey bouts and is very wet indeed.

Joanna & BA Enter the MMA Parody Fray

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Burning Angel’s head honcho, Joanna Angel, is known not only for her hardcore performances and heavily modified physique, but also for her deft handling of pop-culture properties many other pornographers would simply dismiss as too unsexy or unfilmable to bother trying to turn into a sexy onscreen romp. After tackling the Grinch, The Addams Family, The Jason Ellis Show, The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Z-grade alien movies, and Evil Dead, it’s clear Ms. Angel and co. can turn any subject into hilarious and incredibly sexy alt.porn. It was only a matter of time, then, before the infamous director lent her hand to one of America’s favorite (and most brutal) pastimes: mixed martial arts or MMA, specifically the remarkable achievements of undefeated UFC Women’s Bantamweight Champion of the world, ‘Rowdy’ Ronda Rousey.

Casting fan-favorite mainstream crossover sensation Kleio Valentien as the 28-year-old Olympic medal winner and current world number one, Angel found a fighting fit champ all her own who could easily square up against any other woman in the business. For the flick she’s calling Ronda ArouseMe, Angel also cast Arabelle Raphael, Derrick Pierce, Moe “The Monster” Johnson, and Sammie Sixx in the crucial role of Rousey’s early rival “Miesha Taint” (as in Tate). And word, it seems, has been getting around. Not only has Angel’s upcoming parody been previewed in mainstream press publications NY Daily News, Toronto Sun, Complex, AskMen, and Daily Dot, but Ms. Angel was interviewed personally by TMZ Sports about the production’s origins and the fight-inspired moves learned by the cast in training.

Later speaking to AVN, Angel said she was overwhelmed by the attention. “It’s been so exciting. I think all of Ronda’s fans—and all of Kleio’s fans—will love this movie. I’m trying to get it edited as soon as possible so everyone can see it. It will premiere on BurningAngel.com in the near future.” Hey, Joanna, don’t get me wrong, I’m loving your recent Burning Angel efforts (Making the Band and Uber Mistake especially), but this next super-graphic, boundary-pushing porno epic really can’t come soon enough – and I’m not even a fight fan!

Until Ronda ArouseMe sees release via Burning Angel, you’ll find teases and previews all over Joanna and Kleio’s Twitter and Instagram feeds, which is where I found this image, just a little something to send every sport-bra-lover into a state of drooling incoherence. Have fun!

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