The Sextape Situation: Part 1

A few years ago it seemed every female celebrity with any amount of drooling, ogling fans was the rumored subject of a homemade sextape, a pornographic movie shot by the participants who, aside from their noted celebrity, are otherwise everyday folks, not professional adult performers. You and your girlfriend shot some shaky iPhone footage that time on the commuter rail, right? Boom – that’s a sextape (although probably not a very good one). Stick a celebrity in an explicitly sexual situation and you’re looking at guaranteed millions in sales! Just ask Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee (or Brett Michaels) or Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian. Their sex tapes launched endless imitators but also landed them (or their jilted ex-lovers) hefty distribution contracts and the resulting profits. Then came Farrah Abraham…

Farrah Abraham Backdoor Teen Mom

The MTV Teen Mom hired James Deen to join her in shooting an allegedly authentic sextape that was soon revealed to be as orchestrated and emotionless and most celebrity ventures. Cue the backlash. Once one of America’s most ridiculed young women made a blatant attempt to cash in on her “private” sex life, sextapes seemed to become passe almost overnight. Abraham’s second sextape, 2014’s Farrah 2: Backdoor and More, was also beaten out at the recent 32nd AVN Awards by, of all people, the queen of MTV has-beens, Tila Tequila. While it’s clear both women produced their “amateur” sextapes for commercial release, not to privately record intimate moments, Abraham’s continued lies about the production, generally condescending and dismissive attitude towards the adult entertainment community, and the fact that Tequila not only included some backdoor action, but also its stars ejaculatory prowess. Undeniably inching closer and closer to actual pornography in the conventional sense, sextapes seem all but dead as a commercial adult, more so over at Vivid.

Then along came GirlsWay and the so-called Sextape Lesbians with another approach, one we’ll examine in full next week.

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Kagney Outs Celebrity Stalker

There are certain male celebrities who’ve apparently used their influence and power to corrupt the innocent and prey on defenseless young women. Bill Cosby’s currently in hot water over a handful of nasty accusations. Woody Allen allegedly preyed upon his own almost-daughter. Even Canadian celebs are getting in on the act, as the recent furore over CBC broadcaster Jian Ghomeshi’s aggressive sexual practices proves. The tides, however, have turned. Using social media to launch a public counter-attack after being harassed and harangued by a popular music figure notorious for committing violent acts against women, Kagney Linn Karter has proven the power of the verbally aggressive retort made public.

kagney linn karter brazzers

After allegedly being paid upwards of $2,500 by rapper Chris Brown to escort him on a date, Karter refused to consummate what Brown apparently assumed would be consummated (i.e.: she wouldn’t fuck him), which Brown then allegedly responded to with bullying, predatory online notes and comments. He also is said to have sent Karter a photo of his below-the-belt business, presumably in a vain attempt to entice her to fornicate. Class act that she is, Ms. Karter turned not to the police (who’d likely believe the male) nor to Brown’s legal team, but to her Twitter followers to shame her would-be conqueror. She also posted what she claims was a photo of Brown’s penis, causing her Twitter account to be deactivated faster than pornstar thighs during a syphilis outbreak.

kagney linn karter tweets about chris brown

For his part, Brown has, through his representatives, called Karter “mentally unstable” and said her claims are completely fabricated. Brown’s rep also took responsibility for having her Twitter account shuttered “under the claim of harassment and slander.” Still, with choice parting words like these, it seems Kagney Linn Karter is the triumphant one in this little tussle.

Kagney Linn Karter tweets

 

Kagney Linn Kater @Brazzers

 

The Interview Heads to Hustler

the interview

Now that Sony Pictures has cancelled all release plans for the controversial Seth Rogen, James Franco comedy The Interview, prospective fans are wondering if the film will find another life after the nightmare of its proposed theatrical release. North Korean supreme leader, King Jong Un has denied his government had connection to an invasive hack that brought Sony Pictures to its digital knees, a connection strongly suggested by media pundits. Americans are rightfully concerned that Sony’s bowing to the wishes of a cyber-terrorist group, no matter how dubious their origins, sets a precedent for erasing our hard-won freedom to laugh at whatever the fuck we want. And that, dear reader, is something Larry Flynt of Hustler Magazine holds very, very dear.

Telling the Hollywood Reporter that he’d “spent a lifetime fighting for the First Amendment,” and declaring that “no foreign dictator is going to take away [his] right to free speech,” Flynt announced This Ain’t The Interview XXX, his company’s parody version of the doomed political comedy. “If Kim Jong Un and his henchmen were upset before, wait till they see the movie we’re going to make.”

And, whaddya know, it appears President Obama might be right on Flynt’s side this time: “We cannot have a society in which some dictators someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States because if somebody is able to intimidate us out of releasing a satirical movie, imagine what they start doing once they see a documentary that they don’t like or news reports that they don’t like. That’s not who we are. That’s not what America is about.”

No, he’s right. America’s about tits. Lots and lots of tits. (And maybe some heavy duty ass, too!)

#BreakTheInternet with Bang Bros, Brazzers

Kendra Lust and Nikki Benz parody Kim Kardashian

A few weeks ago, Paper Magazine unleashed what has arguably proven to be its most important issue, but it wasn’t the articles contained within that courted controversy and saw readership expand thousand-fold, it was Kim Kardashian’s ass. The images are now legendary, having been passed around the Internet on seemingly every social media and news platform. In fact, the shots of Kardashian’s oiled rear end have even inspired a SNL parody starring Nicki Minaj and prompted one SAT prep company, Catalyst Prep, to use the most famous backside on Earth to gussy up math questions on an otherwise humorless paper. Now it’s porn’s turn.

Bang Bros site Ass Parade released on Monday their parody of Kim K’s now infamous cover shoot, casting the exquisite Kendra Lust and her astounding derriere and coming quite close to matching the styling of Paper’s shoot. With pearls wrapped around her neck and hanging from her earlobes, hair piled in a high wrapped bun, and wearing only the skimpiest black-and-white lingerie, Ms. Lust looks very much the part as she poses for the Ass Parade camera. Enter Mike Adriano and commence ass-eating, double-cumming, and a creamy facial that seals the deal.

Not one to be beaten on novelty, Brazzers enters the fray on New Year’s Eve with the much-hyped casting of Nikki Benz in Kim K’s place. Standing tall in a black sequined dress that amplifies her already amazing curves, Benz balances a champagne glass on her ass before sliding her dress down to reveal her cheeks. Enter Keiran Lee and commence… well, we’re not sure yet since the scene’s still under wraps until NYE. Talking to XBIZ, though, Ms. Benz let out a few teasers: “During our scene [Lee] was making me cum so much! I was so horny I just asked him to do something I haven’t asked another male performer to ever do, and he was more than happy to comply. I don’t want to reveal what it is yet. I guess you guys will have to stay tuned to find out!” For Keiran’s part, he called Benz “one of the all-time greats of porn” and promised her fans and his would both love this Brazzers pairing, declaring it “one of the most intense scenes I’ve ever performed in,” and confirming Benz’s adventurous performance ventures into new territory and will show fans “something they have never seen from Nikki Benz before.”

If those hints are hinting at what I think they’re hinting at, I have a feeling the esteemed ZZ might be right: if Kendra Lust as Kim Kardashian won’t #breaktheinternet then perhaps Nikki Benz’s new exploratory scene will.

Vivid’s 10 Best Sex Tapes

Vivid sex tapesHollywood and the porn industry aren’t as separate as many would like to believe. Aside from geographical proximity, there’s many other factors shared by both industries: an obsession with physical beauty, market dominance by a select few studios, a growing piracy problem, and a reputation for filling the world with puerile nonsense.

There’s also a few more direct commonalities best exemplified by the rise of celebrity sex tapes. And nobody in porn is better equipped to discuss the “private” hardcore recordings of minor (very, very minor) celebrities than the man who ushered them into homes around the world: Vivid Entertainment founder and co-chairman, Mr. Steven Hirsch. Speaking to Supercompressor, Hirsch laid out his opinion on which pseudo-celeb fuck-fests were the most influential and, dare I say, important.

Predictably, tapes featuring Kendra Wilkinson, Kim Kardashian, Farrah Abraham, and Tila Tequila all make the list, but notably absent is arguably the most famous sex tape of all time: 1 Night in Paris. Originally released by Red Light Video, the video that thrust Ms. Hilton into our hearts and homes doesn’t strictly count as a Vivid release in Hirsch’s eyes, not like Backdoor to Chynna starring the wrestler of the same name or The 11th Hole, which starred Tiger Woods’ real-life mistress Joslyn James, both of which Vivid had exclusive rights to from the beginning, even before the shoot… Wait a good gosh darned minute!

Of the ten titles noted by Hirsch as paragons of celebrity sex tape culture are not the private homemade kind at all, but faux amateur productions that, from the get-go, were clearly intended to launch the porn careers, however short-lived, of their stars. Farrah Abraham Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom co-starred the biggest male pornstar on Earth, Chynna’s feature was the result of her pitch to Vivid and featured standard porno production values, Montana Fishburne was gearing up for a longer career in adult before her famous pops put an end to it, and Real Housewives of Atlanta spin-off Mimi & Nikko: Scandal in Atlanta was an obvious cash-grab attempt at further infamy, and Kendra Exposed was so clearly a publicity stunt that even Ms. Wilkinson’s tears over its release were declared as fake as a Cetaphil Lotion cumshot.

Call me a cynic, but I’ll take genuine amateur porn, for all its shitty camerawork and no-name performers, over a phony “private” celebrity vanity production any day.