More Halloween Happenings

Not long now, fuck fans, and every North American adult website worth a damn will be coloring its homepage black-and-orange, placing glowing pumpkin heads at every entrance, and only admitting those women who’ve come dressed for the occasion, every inner-slut’s favorite over-commercialized holiday, Halloween!

Along with the epic pornstar-attended party planned by AVN and due to open a inter-dimensional gateway to a fiery den of adult industry decadence – more info here – there’s also another big-time Halloween bash from a champion of sexual expression, New York’s Museum of Sex. Teaming with One Year Lease Theater Company for the October 31st event, the Museum will host costume contests, complimentary cocktails, light dining, raffles, live music from NY “indie, gypsy-ish, cabaret-ish, parlor rock” outfit Kotorino, and many more events, activities, tricks, and treats to put attendees in the partying mood. And, as always, there’s a premium VIP package for those that want to elevate themselves above the riff-raff, this time dubbed the ‘Indulge with Dionysus’ package and priced at $125 (alongside $65 and $40 standard VIP and general admission tickets, aka ‘Mingle with the Gods’ and ‘Soar with Aphrodite’). Dionysion acolytes willing to part with $125 for a Halloween party par excellence receive, among other pleasures, burlesque performances, a martini bar, appointed servers, ‘sinful party favors and decadent treats’, as well as the best seats in the house reserved for their asses and their asses alone.

Also getting into the spooky spirit this Halloween is everyone’s favorite proponents of martial infidelity, Kelly and Ryan Madison. Just released from Juicy Entertainment, Whore-ers of Halloween sees Natasha Vega, Casey Calvert, Staci Silverstone, Veruca James, Tysen Rich, and Luna C. Kitsuen all gussied up in sultry costumes and given the chance to milk Mr. Madison of his now infamous multiple loads. Cast as the meat in a Madison sandwich set in an Eyes Wide Shut-inspired Venetian-style occult orgy, Veruca James gets the couple to herself for a scene, as do Misses Kitsuen and Vega while the other starlets make do with Ryan alone, though that’s hardly a consolation prize.

Whore-ers of Halloween

And then there’s the horrific Donna T. Rumpshaker costume for women, unwisely produced by outlandish costumers Yandy, which can now be purchased for $69.95. Yes, seriously, and that’s not including the wig or baseball cap!

Donna T. Rumpshaker

Really, the less said about why anyone would possibly want to purchase such a costume for anything other than a woefully unfunny topical reference the better. Isn’t Yandy a “sexy costume” site? Surely even Trump’s staunchest supporters wouldn’t fuck a female doppelganger of the uncouth real estate mogul, would they?

Truly, truly scary ruminations here, folks, and there’s more to come from Mr. Pink’s as we inch closer and closer to All Hallows’ Eve.

Dogfart’s Political Parodies Trump All

Prominent interracial hardcore network network and purveyors of aggressive racially-charged blowbangs, cuckold scenes, and epic “takedowns” of white girls by black guys, black girls by white guys, and black and white girls by each other, the impossibly stupidly named Dogfart Network might still be shaking off its poor choice of handle, but it has a very special ace up its sleeve, an ace that had seemingly gone the way of the dodo and Ford Edsel: absurdist interracial political parody!

dogfart's trumped

Targeting noted resort and casino magnate, reality television star, anti-immigration campaigner, and current candidate for the Republican nomination for President of the United States of America, one Mr. Donald J. Trump for its latest politically-themed parody, Megyn gets Trumped. Shot for Blacks on Blondes and made live August 18th, twelve days after the first Republican debate took place in Cleveland and ignited a feud between candidate Trump and moderator and Fox News pundit (and conservative babe) Megyn Kelly after Kelly asked Trump about previously made statements disparaging women’s appearances. After a stern back-and-forth that not only increased Trump’s profile and popularity, but the outrage directed at him by many left-leaners and women, the battle was well and truly established, with both parties taking to social media to vent their frustrations. Where many would’ve crumbled, Kelly stood her ground, reportedly saying “It’s okay, I’m a big girl, I can take it.” And take it she did.

Dogfart’s epic Megyn Gets Trumped not only see James Bartholet playing the real-estate tycoon but the remarkable Cherie DeVille in the role of Ms. Kelly. Always straight to the point, “The Donald” brings in two hung-as-fuck black bulls to prove to his new (and very foxy) nemesis that, as he implied during the debate, women are best on their knees. Avoiding another verbal assault from Kelly, this time in the green room, The Donald stands back and watches as Kelly loses control and opens herself up for a slamming more aggressive than any thrown her way by Trump-supporters post-debate. Although I’m glad Dogfart is getting in early with the first notable parody of the 2016 presidential election campaign season, but I can’t help but anticipate the next phase of parodies. Will Barack leave Hillary a stiff, black, vibrating replica of himself in the Oval Office? Will Democratic hopeful Bernie Sanders invite rumored running mate Elizabeth Warren over for a chat, provide her with free contraception, assure her of pay equal to an equivalent man, then ask her to prove her dedication to achieving racial harmony by draining the balls of fifteen or twenty black guys? Dear Gods of Dogfart, please hear my prayer!

Bonnie Rotten: EXPOSED

bonnie rotten

You’d think everyone would be used to seeing a woman’s breasts by now. With rampant displays of cleavage and total toplessness at an all time high according to the National Department of Boobolgical Statistics, and with public disgust at such displays at an all time low, you wouldn’t expect a topless woman in the most sinful, decadent, and indulgent city in the country to turn heads, let alone lead thousands of men to the kind of slack-jawed gawking not seen since the days when Janet Jackson’s infamous hand-bra album cover graced billboards and distracted male drivers the nation over. Yet, here we have intrepid exhibitor of naked flesh, Ms. Bonnie Rotten, swanning around Manhattan and just, like, fucking blowing everyone away with her tits, or something.

bonnie rotten topless in ny

Telling a TMZ cameraman she doesn’t “give a fuck” about being seen naked (No shit?), Rotten traipses through Central Park and cites demonstration of a New York law that allows toplessness as her motivation. The looks of outrage and repulsion as Rotten bounds (and bounces) around TMZ crew members and the occasional actual New Yorker are mind boggling. In this day and age, a woman’s breasts causing grown men to skip girlishly down a path, calmly give directions when asked, and even smile politely when confronted with the, uh, confronting image of the AVN winner’s spider-web breast tattoos – it’s just about unheard of, an almost complete non-reaction and clearly not the one Rotten or TMZ were looking for.

bonnie rotten topless in ny subway

Before boarding a subway train and garnering even less attention for her hardly shocking behavior, Rotten tells the camera she’s starting to feel a little nervous. “I’ve heard they have crabs on the train,” she explains. I mean, fuck, folks – the jokes write themselves with this one! “They’re very real,” she tells a table of men in Times Square ogling her famous, award-wining, million-Google-Image-Search-hit-returning mammaries, basically refuting the claims made by an investigative YouTube journalist in late 2013, as seen here:

Well, TMZ and their controversial pornstar du jour have certainly shown us that… what, women can go topless in New York without garnering much attention from Johnny Law, The Man, or ultra-conservative eunuchs. Cool. It’s a pity Scott Weiner ruined San Francisco for nudists or perhaps Bonnie Rotten would have shot a stroll down Market Street naked from head-to-toe.