Pokémon Porn Persists

Pornstar Go: a XXX Parody

Since its July 6 release, augmented reality game Pokémon Go has captured the imaginations (and free time) of millions of players worldwide. As Mr. Pink’s reported to you last week, the game has also captured the imagination of pornographers both amateur and pro. After we previously noted Pokémon-themed porn efforts from Team Skeet’s Exxxtra Small and Teen Pies, RK (Reality Kings) Prime, and Cosplay Babes, another wave of Poké-porn arrived to further milk the world’s reigning gaming trend.

Arguably the king of porn parody mountain, Brazzers didn’t spare any costuming expenses for its Pornstar Go: a XXX Parody production, the results of which went live on Monday. Replacing the super powered pocket monsters with magical pornstars who vanish from porn sets across the valley, Brazzers has Spanish newcomer Jordi El Niño Polla hunting for Ella Hughes, Patty Michova, and Alexa Tomas in an effort to return them to their rightful homes at Brazzers HQ. A trio of women this irresistible shouldn’t need any extra incentive to pursue, but once captured, they reveal their true animalistic intentions.

Taking a less fantastic angle on Poké-porn, Bryan Gozzling’s Hookup Hotshot site brought to our attention a skinny raven-haired Ivy Aura. Keeping with Gozzling’s social media focus, Ivy is recruited to accompany our host on some Pokémon Go hunts only to find he’s far more interested in fingering her asshole, urinating in her mouth, and unloading his seed onto her expectant face – and they don’t even get around to catching any Pokémon!

While it’s unlikely this is the last of the Pokémon parody porn coming your way in this time of near-global Poké-fever, it’s clearer than ever that a pop-culture phenomenon doesn’t require any greater inclusion in porn than a brief reference made by jaw-dropping new starlet. (But hey, check out Ella Hughes in costume – that sure doesn’t hurt!)

Brazzers review

More Halloween Happenings

Not long now, fuck fans, and every North American adult website worth a damn will be coloring its homepage black-and-orange, placing glowing pumpkin heads at every entrance, and only admitting those women who’ve come dressed for the occasion, every inner-slut’s favorite over-commercialized holiday, Halloween!
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Along with the epic pornstar-attended party planned by AVN and due to open a inter-dimensional gateway to a fiery den of adult industry decadence – more info here – there’s also another big-time Halloween bash from a champion of sexual expression, New York’s Museum of Sex. Teaming with One Year Lease Theater Company for the October 31st event, the Museum will host costume contests, complimentary cocktails, light dining, raffles, live music from NY “indie, gypsy-ish, cabaret-ish, parlor rock” outfit Kotorino, and many more events, activities, tricks, and treats to put attendees in the partying mood. And, as always, there’s a premium VIP package for those that want to elevate themselves above the riff-raff, this time dubbed the ‘Indulge with Dionysus’ package and priced at $125 (alongside $65 and $40 standard VIP and general admission tickets, aka ‘Mingle with the Gods’ and ‘Soar with Aphrodite’). Dionysion acolytes willing to part with $125 for a Halloween party par excellence receive, among other pleasures, burlesque performances, a martini bar, appointed servers, ‘sinful party favors and decadent treats’, as well as the best seats in the house reserved for their asses and their asses alone.

Also getting into the spooky spirit this Halloween is everyone’s favorite proponents of martial infidelity, Kelly and Ryan Madison. Just released from Juicy Entertainment, Whore-ers of Halloween sees Natasha Vega, Casey Calvert, Staci Silverstone, Veruca James, Tysen Rich, and Luna C. Kitsuen all gussied up in sultry costumes and given the chance to milk Mr. Madison of his now infamous multiple loads. Cast as the meat in a Madison sandwich set in an Eyes Wide Shut-inspired Venetian-style occult orgy, Veruca James gets the couple to herself for a scene, as do Misses Kitsuen and Vega while the other starlets make do with Ryan alone, though that’s hardly a consolation prize.

Whore-ers of Halloween

And then there’s the horrific Donna T. Rumpshaker costume for women, unwisely produced by outlandish costumers Yandy, which can now be purchased for $69.95. Yes, seriously, and that’s not including the wig or baseball cap!

Donna T. Rumpshaker

Really, the less said about why anyone would possibly want to purchase such a costume for anything other than a woefully unfunny topical reference the better. Isn’t Yandy a “sexy costume” site? Surely even Trump’s staunchest supporters wouldn’t fuck a female doppelganger of the uncouth real estate mogul, would they?

Truly, truly scary ruminations here, folks, and there’s more to come from Mr. Pink’s as we inch closer and closer to All Hallows’ Eve.

Bonnie Rotten: EXPOSED

bonnie rotten

You’d think everyone would be used to seeing a woman’s breasts by now. With rampant displays of cleavage and total toplessness at an all time high according to the National Department of Boobolgical Statistics, and with public disgust at such displays at an all time low, you wouldn’t expect a topless woman in the most sinful, decadent, and indulgent city in the country to turn heads, let alone lead thousands of men to the kind of slack-jawed gawking not seen since the days when Janet Jackson’s infamous hand-bra album cover graced billboards and distracted male drivers the nation over. Yet, here we have intrepid exhibitor of naked flesh, Ms. Bonnie Rotten, swanning around Manhattan and just, like, fucking blowing everyone away with her tits, or something.

bonnie rotten topless in ny

Telling a TMZ cameraman she doesn’t “give a fuck” about being seen naked (No shit?), Rotten traipses through Central Park and cites demonstration of a New York law that allows toplessness as her motivation. The looks of outrage and repulsion as Rotten bounds (and bounces) around TMZ crew members and the occasional actual New Yorker are mind boggling. In this day and age, a woman’s breasts causing grown men to skip girlishly down a path, calmly give directions when asked, and even smile politely when confronted with the, uh, confronting image of the AVN winner’s spider-web breast tattoos – it’s just about unheard of, an almost complete non-reaction and clearly not the one Rotten or TMZ were looking for.

bonnie rotten topless in ny subway

Before boarding a subway train and garnering even less attention for her hardly shocking behavior, Rotten tells the camera she’s starting to feel a little nervous. “I’ve heard they have crabs on the train,” she explains. I mean, fuck, folks – the jokes write themselves with this one! “They’re very real,” she tells a table of men in Times Square ogling her famous, award-wining, million-Google-Image-Search-hit-returning mammaries, basically refuting the claims made by an investigative YouTube journalist in late 2013, as seen here:

Well, TMZ and their controversial pornstar du jour have certainly shown us that… what, women can go topless in New York without garnering much attention from Johnny Law, The Man, or ultra-conservative eunuchs. Cool. It’s a pity Scott Weiner ruined San Francisco for nudists or perhaps Bonnie Rotten would have shot a stroll down Market Street naked from head-to-toe.