More Halloween Happenings

Not long now, fuck fans, and every North American adult website worth a damn will be coloring its homepage black-and-orange, placing glowing pumpkin heads at every entrance, and only admitting those women who’ve come dressed for the occasion, every inner-slut’s favorite over-commercialized holiday, Halloween!
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Along with the epic pornstar-attended party planned by AVN and due to open a inter-dimensional gateway to a fiery den of adult industry decadence – more info here – there’s also another big-time Halloween bash from a champion of sexual expression, New York’s Museum of Sex. Teaming with One Year Lease Theater Company for the October 31st event, the Museum will host costume contests, complimentary cocktails, light dining, raffles, live music from NY “indie, gypsy-ish, cabaret-ish, parlor rock” outfit Kotorino, and many more events, activities, tricks, and treats to put attendees in the partying mood. And, as always, there’s a premium VIP package for those that want to elevate themselves above the riff-raff, this time dubbed the ‘Indulge with Dionysus’ package and priced at $125 (alongside $65 and $40 standard VIP and general admission tickets, aka ‘Mingle with the Gods’ and ‘Soar with Aphrodite’). Dionysion acolytes willing to part with $125 for a Halloween party par excellence receive, among other pleasures, burlesque performances, a martini bar, appointed servers, ‘sinful party favors and decadent treats’, as well as the best seats in the house reserved for their asses and their asses alone.

Also getting into the spooky spirit this Halloween is everyone’s favorite proponents of martial infidelity, Kelly and Ryan Madison. Just released from Juicy Entertainment, Whore-ers of Halloween sees Natasha Vega, Casey Calvert, Staci Silverstone, Veruca James, Tysen Rich, and Luna C. Kitsuen all gussied up in sultry costumes and given the chance to milk Mr. Madison of his now infamous multiple loads. Cast as the meat in a Madison sandwich set in an Eyes Wide Shut-inspired Venetian-style occult orgy, Veruca James gets the couple to herself for a scene, as do Misses Kitsuen and Vega while the other starlets make do with Ryan alone, though that’s hardly a consolation prize.

Whore-ers of Halloween

And then there’s the horrific Donna T. Rumpshaker costume for women, unwisely produced by outlandish costumers Yandy, which can now be purchased for $69.95. Yes, seriously, and that’s not including the wig or baseball cap!

Donna T. Rumpshaker

Really, the less said about why anyone would possibly want to purchase such a costume for anything other than a woefully unfunny topical reference the better. Isn’t Yandy a “sexy costume” site? Surely even Trump’s staunchest supporters wouldn’t fuck a female doppelganger of the uncouth real estate mogul, would they?

Truly, truly scary ruminations here, folks, and there’s more to come from Mr. Pink’s as we inch closer and closer to All Hallows’ Eve.

Bonnie Rotten: EXPOSED

bonnie rotten

You’d think everyone would be used to seeing a woman’s breasts by now. With rampant displays of cleavage and total toplessness at an all time high according to the National Department of Boobolgical Statistics, and with public disgust at such displays at an all time low, you wouldn’t expect a topless woman in the most sinful, decadent, and indulgent city in the country to turn heads, let alone lead thousands of men to the kind of slack-jawed gawking not seen since the days when Janet Jackson’s infamous hand-bra album cover graced billboards and distracted male drivers the nation over. Yet, here we have intrepid exhibitor of naked flesh, Ms. Bonnie Rotten, swanning around Manhattan and just, like, fucking blowing everyone away with her tits, or something.

bonnie rotten topless in ny

Telling a TMZ cameraman she doesn’t “give a fuck” about being seen naked (No shit?), Rotten traipses through Central Park and cites demonstration of a New York law that allows toplessness as her motivation. The looks of outrage and repulsion as Rotten bounds (and bounces) around TMZ crew members and the occasional actual New Yorker are mind boggling. In this day and age, a woman’s breasts causing grown men to skip girlishly down a path, calmly give directions when asked, and even smile politely when confronted with the, uh, confronting image of the AVN winner’s spider-web breast tattoos – it’s just about unheard of, an almost complete non-reaction and clearly not the one Rotten or TMZ were looking for.

bonnie rotten topless in ny subway

Before boarding a subway train and garnering even less attention for her hardly shocking behavior, Rotten tells the camera she’s starting to feel a little nervous. “I’ve heard they have crabs on the train,” she explains. I mean, fuck, folks – the jokes write themselves with this one! “They’re very real,” she tells a table of men in Times Square ogling her famous, award-wining, million-Google-Image-Search-hit-returning mammaries, basically refuting the claims made by an investigative YouTube journalist in late 2013, as seen here:

Well, TMZ and their controversial pornstar du jour have certainly shown us that… what, women can go topless in New York without garnering much attention from Johnny Law, The Man, or ultra-conservative eunuchs. Cool. It’s a pity Scott Weiner ruined San Francisco for nudists or perhaps Bonnie Rotten would have shot a stroll down Market Street naked from head-to-toe.

Library Girl Sets Sights on Nighty News

Kendra Sunderland, who you may know as “Library Girl” after she put Oregon State University on the map with her now-infamous in-library webcam striptease, might have ditched her studies and dropped out of college after her antics led to a Public Indecency charge and, among other career boosts, a Penthouse magazine spread, but now she’s angling for intellectual credibility once again by auditioning for Naked News.

Kendra Sunderland at Naked News

Broadcasting the headlines of the day in near and total nudity, Naked News quickly made headlines of its own upon launch in 2000 and had many convinced television journalism was now deader than Edward R. Murrow. “The program with nothing to hide,” soon became yesterday’s news to all but a devoted group of followers, so the meeting of Naked News and today’s nude-on-the-net it-girl makes perfect sense. Auditioning for Naked News after an interview with anchor Eila Adams went down a treat with viewers, Sunderland graced the CGI newsroom and tried her hand at teleprompted to-camera delivery. While most Naked News anchors manage to deliver information clearly and succinctly while casually undressing, Sunderland struggled to sound confident and noticeably hesitated when it came to pronouncing Giselle Bündchen’s last name. Although only lasting 90 seconds, Sunderland’s audition showed her potential (or lack thereof) when it comes to newscasting. Still, trying to build a career out of a misdemeanor charge of Public Indecency caused by a 17-minute viral video can’t exactly be easy and we should at least congratulate the on-again off-again academic exhibitionist on her continued apparent newsworthiness.

Naked News offers daily broadcasts covering pop-culture, politics, and any other news items deemed easier to digest when delivered by an attractive woman without clothing.

Kendra Sunderland continues her burgeoning business empire with a line of sex toys, a Penthouse contract, and an kendra sunderland on which she performs live and prerecorded shows.