Entertainment | Mr. Pink's Blog

#BreakTheInternet with Bang Bros, Brazzers

A few weeks ago, Paper Magazine unleashed what has arguably proven to be its most important issue, but it wasn’t the articles contained within that courted controversy and saw readership expand thousand-fold, it was Kim Kardashian’s ass. The images are now legendary, having been passed around the Internet on seemingly every social media and news platform. In fact, the shots of Kardashian’s oiled rear end have even inspired a SNL parody starring Nicki Minaj and prompted one SAT prep company, Catalyst Prep, to use the most famous backside on Earth to gussy up math questions on an otherwise humorless paper. Now it’s porn’s turn.

Bang Bros site Ass Parade released on Monday their parody of Kim K’s now infamous cover shoot, casting the exquisite Kendra Lust and her astounding derriere and coming quite close to matching the styling of Paper’s shoot. With pearls wrapped around her neck and hanging from her earlobes, hair piled in a high wrapped bun, and wearing only the skimpiest black-and-white lingerie, Ms. Lust looks very much the part as she poses for the Ass Parade camera. Enter Mike Adriano and commence ass-eating, double-cumming, and a creamy facial that seals the deal.

Not one to be beaten on novelty, Brazzers enters the fray on New Year’s Eve with the much-hyped casting of Nikki Benz in Kim K’s place. Standing tall in a black sequined dress that amplifies her already amazing curves, Benz balances a champagne glass on her ass before sliding her dress down to reveal her cheeks. Enter Keiran Lee and commence… well, we’re not sure yet since the scene’s still under wraps until NYE. Talking to XBIZ, though, Ms. Benz let out a few teasers: “During our scene [Lee] was making me cum so much! I was so horny I just asked him to do something I haven’t asked another male performer to ever do, and he was more than happy to comply. I don’t want to reveal what it is yet. I guess you guys will have to stay tuned to find out!” For Keiran’s part, he called Benz “one of the all-time greats of porn” and promised her fans and his would both love this Brazzers pairing, declaring it “one of the most intense scenes I’ve ever performed in,” and confirming Benz’s adventurous performance ventures into new territory and will show fans “something they have never seen from Nikki Benz before.”

If those hints are hinting at what I think they’re hinting at, I have a feeling the esteemed ZZ might be right: if Kendra Lust as Kim Kardashian won’t #breaktheinternet then perhaps Nikki Benz’s new exploratory scene will.

Click here to see more assparade!

Kink’s Horrific Haunted House

I’m all out of candy and I’m through being nice to other people’s spawn, but I’m nonetheless a bit sad that Halloween has come and gone for another year. Whatever your celebratory habits may be, the immediately-post-Halloween period can bring you hurtling back to reality and leave you an ugly, depressed mess. In an effort to cheer up both myself and you, dear reader, I figured I’d try to keep the Halloween porn-party going with some scintillating tidbits that reveal how some very lucky Kink fans celebrated All Hallows’ this year.

In collaboration with theatrical circus troupe, Vau de Vire Society, Kink.com this year launched it’s very first immersive, interactive Halloween experience they call Hell in the Armory. Reporting for Vice, Anubha Momin attended the inaugural horror-fest and found things slightly more terrifying that arousing. Featuring such horrific scenes (all performed live by Kink and Vau de Vire members) as a woman’s abduction by a voracious werewolf, an asylum inmate ranting maniacally about her ghoulish child, an insane and blood-thirsty doctor operating (read: reconfiguring) his patient’s limbs, a vaudeville-style musical zombie trio, and a clown content to masturbate all night in a public phone booth.

Hell in the Armory – Photo courtesy of Vice.com

By far the most outlandish event of the evening was, according to Momin, when she entered a well-stocked meat locker to find a bearded figure nailed to a wooden cross. Naked, bleeding, and intent on converting his audience to his particular faith, the bibles at his feet an obvious clue as to his identity. Suddenly, though, JC’s sermon from the cross was interrupted by a “maniacal butcher with a chainsaw” who barged in and headed straight for the soon-to-be-crucified-figure’s torso, plunging his blade deep into the dude’s chest and belly.

There’s no word yet as to whether Hell in the Armory will run again next year after 2014’s sold out season, or whether Kink and Vau de Vire Society will create an all-new attraction. Even if Halloween 2015 sees an empty spot on Kink’s calendar, you could always head over to the Armory, stand outside on a chilly San Francisco evening, and imagine the horrors unfolding inside a sexual hell of Kink’s making.

American Whore Story, ZZ-Style

Brazzers isn’t the kind of porn company to embark on any new venture with cautious reserve, so with Halloween on the horizon it was expected that the ZZ would throw its ample weight behind a unique celebration. This year it’s American Whore Story.

American Whore Story is a multi-chapter epic from Brazzers that sees pornstars Katrina Jade, Bonnie Rotten, Skin Diamond and Julez Ventura tackle horrific, treacherous situations all in the name of sexual adventure. Ably abetted by everyone’s favorite expressively-eyebrowed male star Tommy Pistol, insanely-well-endowed Brit Danny D, and All-American boy-next-door Tyler Nixon (at least in the first three chapters), the carnally obsessed cast get to filling every available orifice regardless of the precarious situations surrounding them. In American Whore Story’s first chapter (published last week at ZZ Series), Katrina Jade flags down travelers Tyler and Danny and successfully distracts Tyler from his original goal: locating a secret grave-site that held a mass of partial human remains. When she turns down the motel room light to get some post-coital zees, Katrina is terrified (as she should be) by someone at her bedroom door.

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Part two of this Brazzers Halloween horror series sees Danny continue his ghost hunt alone, roping motel employee Julez Ventura (who’s angling for a joint) into helping him locate his now-missing pal. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he stumbles upon a bound and hooded Skin Diamond, wrapped in leather and placed on an altar. Freeing her, Danny is greeted by Diamond with a hysterical laughing fit before Ventura joins them, masked and cowled, and seduces our hapless hero into a metaphysical threesome that leaves him disoriented and confused when they vanish into a puff of smoke after draining him. But who’s that mysterious dark-haired man seen in security footage walking the area with the missing Tyler and what does he want with our fellas?

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Bonnie Rotten, arguably the most beloved hyper-sexual and endlessly elastic deviant in porn today, takes center stage for the third chapter of Brazzers’ American Whore Story (due for release October 21st) but whether she provides any answers or simply poses more questions remains to be seen. Joining forces with the apparent mastermind behind all this insanity (that’d be Mr. Pistol), Rotten takes a railing in all three holes. But what exactly is her involvement and what has happened to Katrina Jade and Tyler Nixon to leave Danny D so ill-at-ease? Hop along, little pumpkins, to Brazzers site ZZ Series to catch the unfolding of this particular pornographic horror story as can only be told by adult entertainment’s most notoriously epic studio.

Mythical Tri-Boob Spotted in FL

The Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi vehicle Total Recall was released in 1990 and remade in 2012 and both movies feature the brief appearance of a woman with three breasts, an alien creature hell bent on being fondled by a three-handed man (or maybe three one-handed men). Although Kaitlyn Leeb (the actress playing the role in director Les Wiseman’s 2012 remake) courted controversy when she wandered around San Diego Comic Con with her three fake tits almost completely exposed, it took a full 14 years for someone to take such strong inspiration from the three-boobed woman that she’d attach a third breast to her own chest, going through 50 plastic surgeons before finally finding one who’d agree to the absurd procedure. The kicker, though, is that Florida massage therapist Jasmine Tridevil claims to have opted for a third breast to make herself “unattractive to men”.

Clearly not thinking her body modification nor the motivation behind it through very thoroughly, Tridevil seems to have forgotten that heterosexual men will do almost anything for access to a pleasing pair of breasts. For three, why, they’d attempt to colonize Mars singlehandedly. How she hopes to shirk male attention is… well… they’re fake. Obviously.

Aside from videos showing off her new rack in a tri-kini, answering questions from interested parties, and claiming that the unemployed are jobless by choice alone, Tridevil’s YouTube channel fails to provide any evidence to support her claims of authentic third-boobery. What does appear, though, are links to news items refuting her claims and the following interview with Tampa’s WTSP:

I suppose we’ll find out the truth when Tridevil’s self-produced reality show is eventually picked up by MTV (which she seems convinced will happen any day now). Episode six allegedly contains footage of the “star” walking along a beach in the same tri-kini she modeled in multiple YouTube videos as well as on WTSP News, when she told reporter Charles Billi she’s willing to do anything to become famous. While Tridevil’s new appendage may remain under suspicion, she’ll have her chance to tell the whole truth when (or better said, if) her show hits TV screens everywhere.