More Halloween Happenings

Not long now, fuck fans, and every North American adult website worth a damn will be coloring its homepage black-and-orange, placing glowing pumpkin heads at every entrance, and only admitting those women who’ve come dressed for the occasion, every inner-slut’s favorite over-commercialized holiday, Halloween!

Along with the epic pornstar-attended party planned by AVN and due to open a inter-dimensional gateway to a fiery den of adult industry decadence – more info here – there’s also another big-time Halloween bash from a champion of sexual expression, New York’s Museum of Sex. Teaming with One Year Lease Theater Company for the October 31st event, the Museum will host costume contests, complimentary cocktails, light dining, raffles, live music from NY “indie, gypsy-ish, cabaret-ish, parlor rock” outfit Kotorino, and many more events, activities, tricks, and treats to put attendees in the partying mood. And, as always, there’s a premium VIP package for those that want to elevate themselves above the riff-raff, this time dubbed the ‘Indulge with Dionysus’ package and priced at $125 (alongside $65 and $40 standard VIP and general admission tickets, aka ‘Mingle with the Gods’ and ‘Soar with Aphrodite’). Dionysion acolytes willing to part with $125 for a Halloween party par excellence receive, among other pleasures, burlesque performances, a martini bar, appointed servers, ‘sinful party favors and decadent treats’, as well as the best seats in the house reserved for their asses and their asses alone.

Also getting into the spooky spirit this Halloween is everyone’s favorite proponents of martial infidelity, Kelly and Ryan Madison. Just released from Juicy Entertainment, Whore-ers of Halloween sees Natasha Vega, Casey Calvert, Staci Silverstone, Veruca James, Tysen Rich, and Luna C. Kitsuen all gussied up in sultry costumes and given the chance to milk Mr. Madison of his now infamous multiple loads. Cast as the meat in a Madison sandwich set in an Eyes Wide Shut-inspired Venetian-style occult orgy, Veruca James gets the couple to herself for a scene, as do Misses Kitsuen and Vega while the other starlets make do with Ryan alone, though that’s hardly a consolation prize.

Whore-ers of Halloween

And then there’s the horrific Donna T. Rumpshaker costume for women, unwisely produced by outlandish costumers Yandy, which can now be purchased for $69.95. Yes, seriously, and that’s not including the wig or baseball cap!

Donna T. Rumpshaker

Really, the less said about why anyone would possibly want to purchase such a costume for anything other than a woefully unfunny topical reference the better. Isn’t Yandy a “sexy costume” site? Surely even Trump’s staunchest supporters wouldn’t fuck a female doppelganger of the uncouth real estate mogul, would they?

Truly, truly scary ruminations here, folks, and there’s more to come from Mr. Pink’s as we inch closer and closer to All Hallows’ Eve.

Party with Pornstars on Halloween

Whenever Halloween rolls around at the tail-end of October, porn fans’ blood starts pumping a little faster, their mouths start to moisten, and those little hairs on the back of their necks stand to attention and all because Halloween brings not only candy and annoying, intrusive neighborhood brats banging on your door, it also brings pornstars’ costume choices to our impatient attention. Hitting Twitter and Instagram on All Hallow’s Eve usually results in some pretty racy outfits modeled by adult industry pros who put every other saucily-costumed woman to shame. I was happy with this arrangement as it helped me avoid crowds and police yet still marvel at the newly depraved depths Halloween costuming sinks to every year. But now there’s a far more enticing option…

AVN Halloween Porn Star Party

The inaugural AVN Halloween Porn Star Party planned for October 30-31st in Las Vegas aims to combine traditional Sin City revelry with the sultry glamour of Halloween and the unstoppable sexual force provided by more than 30 acclaimed adult performers, over 50 other costumed models, VIP attractions, topless entertainment, contests, and even special “playrooms” accessible only to VIPs. Set to take place at Artisan Hotel Boutique from 10pm to 4am both nights, attendees can expect to party with the likes of Ashley Fires, Joanna Angel, Sara Luvv, Kagney Linn Karter, Karlee Grey, Riley Reid, and everyone’s favorite sensai of fellatio, Dana DeArmond.

As you’d expect, tickets aren’t exactly easy on the wallet, but who’d ever imagine paying anything less than $200 to party with pornstars? Tickets range from your basic party admission package for $200 to a $450 VIP Pass that allows access to Topless Play Rooms and reserved VIP area. The premium package offers much more, though, as it should at $2,000-a-pop! Limited in number, these All Access Passes include two-nights accommodation, open bar, and all the perks of being a regular VIP, just with the irresistible addition of a “Porn Star Cocktail Party” and “dinner with porn star hosts.” Exactly what these entail remains to be seen, but the offer sure is impossible to ignore, vague wording and all.

So, did you have any plans for Halloween or are you only now considering leaving the house to revel with porn’s best and bustiest?

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Joanna & BA Enter the MMA Parody Fray

ronda arouseme

Burning Angel’s head honcho, Joanna Angel, is known not only for her hardcore performances and heavily modified physique, but also for her deft handling of pop-culture properties many other pornographers would simply dismiss as too unsexy or unfilmable to bother trying to turn into a sexy onscreen romp. After tackling the Grinch, The Addams Family, The Jason Ellis Show, The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Z-grade alien movies, and Evil Dead, it’s clear Ms. Angel and co. can turn any subject into hilarious and incredibly sexy It was only a matter of time, then, before the infamous director lent her hand to one of America’s favorite (and most brutal) pastimes: mixed martial arts or MMA, specifically the remarkable achievements of undefeated UFC Women’s Bantamweight Champion of the world, ‘Rowdy’ Ronda Rousey.

Casting fan-favorite mainstream crossover sensation Kleio Valentien as the 28-year-old Olympic medal winner and current world number one, Angel found a fighting fit champ all her own who could easily square up against any other woman in the business. For the flick she’s calling Ronda ArouseMe, Angel also cast Arabelle Raphael, Derrick Pierce, Moe “The Monster” Johnson, and Sammie Sixx in the crucial role of Rousey’s early rival “Miesha Taint” (as in Tate). And word, it seems, has been getting around. Not only has Angel’s upcoming parody been previewed in mainstream press publications NY Daily News, Toronto Sun, Complex, AskMen, and Daily Dot, but Ms. Angel was interviewed personally by TMZ Sports about the production’s origins and the fight-inspired moves learned by the cast in training.

Later speaking to AVN, Angel said she was overwhelmed by the attention. “It’s been so exciting. I think all of Ronda’s fans—and all of Kleio’s fans—will love this movie. I’m trying to get it edited as soon as possible so everyone can see it. It will premiere on in the near future.” Hey, Joanna, don’t get me wrong, I’m loving your recent Burning Angel efforts (Making the Band and Uber Mistake especially), but this next super-graphic, boundary-pushing porno epic really can’t come soon enough – and I’m not even a fight fan!

Until Ronda ArouseMe sees release via Burning Angel, you’ll find teases and previews all over Joanna and Kleio’s Twitter and Instagram feeds, which is where I found this image, just a little something to send every sport-bra-lover into a state of drooling incoherence. Have fun!