Pubic Hair Sprouts Back

Bush Vol 1

According to The New York Times, the decade-long trend of bald (or at least largely shaven) female pubes has turned around of late with more and more women opting for a more natural, “fuller” look. Citing advice from actress (and now author) Cameron Diaz, quotes from Gwyneth Paltrow’s Iron Man 3 press junket interviews, a Lady Gaga photoshoot and the continued career of reluctant pubic groomer and actress Abby Hoffman, NYT writer Marisa Meltzer makes the claim that the Brazilian and High Bikini waxes are on the way out in US cities from New York to Portland, OR, but seems to neglect one source of pubic pop-culture factoids: pornography.

Take a gander through the ranks of porn’s brightest young starlets and you’ll see plenty of bush on the likes of Riley Reid, Holly Michaels, Dani Daniels, and Chastity Lynn. In fact, bang on three years ago back in 2011, Elegant Angel released Bush, a pubic hair-loving hardcore romp that reintroduced audiences to the hottest tufted women in porn, including Kimberly Kane, Bobbi Starr, and Kristina Rose.

Bush Vol. 2Bush was followed by two more installments of this burgeoning series and welcomed multiple AVN nominees, one of whom, Jessie Andrews, also a Best Actress winner, Miley Cyrus music video co-star, and dance club DJ whose names has appeared in print in a NYT edition on not one, not two, but four separate occasions. But, no, heaven forbid we look to porn to see what less vocal people are doing (or wish they are) in their bedrooms. It’s simply untenable that such an affront to all human decency (both the Patriarchy’s and Feminism’s) could be the basis for an assessment of human domestic habits! Anyone willing to look, though, would certainly find one thing: bush (and quite a bit of it, too).

Lorelei Lee: Under the Hammer

Lorelei Lee

Fuck the Global Financial Crisis and your own dwindling savings account balance, those intrepid explorers of the furthest reaches of human sexuality, the San Francisco-based studio Kink.com, recently opened bidding on one of the company’s very own directors and performers, Lorelei Lee.

After a previous auction saw one fan pay $42,000 for an intimate private webcam session with Maitresse Madeline, the icy blonde Ms. Lee offers her services to the highest bidder and ensures, whatever his or her kinky preferences, satisfaction. Presented under the Kink Divine Bitches marquee, Lee says this auction aims to “expand the relationship between the fan and the star. They want to worship us, and we want them to worship.” Services available to the winning bidder – who’ll presumably pay much more than the current top bid of $24,200 – include lessons in servitude and submission or the chance to dominate, to completely control this particular Divine Bitch. The winner also receives a complimentary year of Kink.com access, signed photos of Ms. Lee, an HD copy of the private show and, most excitingly, the props used by Ms. Lee during their special time together.

Sure, unless you’re a future oil tycoon, criminal mastermind, or just really, really hard working, you won’t even consider bidding on some time with Lorelei Lee, but those of us that are should probably start seeing if our budgets can accommodate such a rash expenditure. (At least for me, an adult entertainment professional, it’ll be tax deductible!)

Lorelei Lee

Cheese Fucker prowls Mayfair, PA!!! Caught!! Released!

Swiss Cheese Pervert

Unless you’ve been sticking your dick in the holes found in a slice of Swiss cheese, going online to locate women who’ll watch your dairy-fed antics, and even approaching startled ladies in public in failed attempts to coax them into participating in your little pastime, I’d say your fetishes are probably under control, unlike the “Swiss-cheese Pervert” of Philadelphia’s Mayfair region.

Awareness of the alleged deviant’s activities gained ground after being posted on a Mayfair TownWatch Facebook page. Community outrage spread and more victims came forward claiming, much like Priscilla [surname redacted] who managed to snap a cell phone pic of the perp after he propositioned her, that the man intended to hire them to observe his rubbing his genitals with slices of Swiss cheese. Priscilla shared her photo of the suspect (and his cheese) with authorities and shortly after they arrested one Christopher Pagano of Norristown. Described by neighbors as “a weirdo” who “used to come outside in his underwear with no shirt,” 41-year-old Pagano was charged with stalking and harassment as well as open lewdness before being released on $30,000 bail.

To get to the bottom of all this depravity we must turn to that most revealing of adult social media sites, OkCupid, on which the lonely legions declare themselves and their various kinks and curiosities open for judgement. Contacting twenty-year-old (and curiously named) Gabby Chest of Bridesburg in 2012, Pagano is reported to have offered significant details of his sitophilia, the total of which can be viewed at PhillyMag and is best digested on an empty stomach. (Note: somewhat tellingingly, Pagano misspells “arrangement” as “arraignment”.)

 

Conjoined Girlfriends Ruffle Feathers

'Conjoined' from Girlfriends Films

When Huffington Post reports on porn, you know it’s about an issue, a person, or an event that has significant crossover appeal. Imagine my surprise then, when I hit up ol’ HuffPo for the latest audacious gossip involving porn either directly or tangentially only to find a story about, of all things, conjoined-twins-porn. And not real conjoined-twins porn at that, but obviously fake prosthetically-aided lesbian porn from Girlfriends Films.

Starring Mischa Brooks and Rilynn Rae, who at 5’2″ and 5’10” respectively, don’t exactly meet the physical demands of their roles, ‘Conjoined’ is a new hardcore lesbian movie from Girlfriends Films that sees this pair of conjoined twins fall out over love. “One is more lesbian than the other,” director B. Skow told Huffington Post, “but both like girls. They don’t have sex with each other. When one is having sex with another person, they will put a sheet over their sister. Still, the other will feel things that her sister is doing.”

Following Skow’s initial idea of ‘What if one hot conjoined twin fell in love and wanted to be separated?’, Rae and Brooks dove into their unique roles headfirst. “It looks funny when they’re trying to get dressed,” says Skow, “but they are good friends in real life. The film opens with them trying to play Twister.” Twister, really? Oh, super-sexy, humorously conjoined twins, won’t you ever learn?

The Huffington Post piece remained uncharacteristically calm, devoid of the usual harsh and judgmental tone denigrating porn culture, and even managed to provide the release date (albeit a corrected one) for Girlfriends Films’ ‘Conjoined': November 26th.

Claire Robbins: Don’t Call it a Comeback!

Claire RobbinsBefore Katie St. Ives arrived on the LA porn scene and directed her piercing blue eyes down the barrel of every POV camera in town, solidifying her place in the mental spank-bank of thousands upon thousands of appreciative viewers, there was another young Californian attempting to cement her place in porn’s parade of amazingly sexual performers and she too had short sandy blonde hair, a disarming smile, and an apparently insatiable appetite for adventurous sex. That was Claire Robbins. She entertained and aroused her growing legion of fans from 2004 to around 2010 or 2011 and then seemed to exit porn as quietly as she’d entered, before she’d hooted and hollered her way through dozens upon dozens of intense anal piledrivers and demanding DPs. Deviants everywhere mourned the loss of another potential pornographic genius. Then, in the final weeks of 2012, this happened…

She’s back! Freshly inked with an Oakland A’s logo and two barely legible words on her inner elbows, and with a radically different hairstyle than her previous cropped ‘do, Claire Robbins returned to active porn duty with a blistering anal scene for Manuel Ferrara’s Evil Anal #17, her new look allowing her to slip past the sensors of many former fans. For a while, at least. After visiting San Francisco’s now infamous Kink headquarters to shoot an astounding seven scenes for the kinkiest company in porn. On Public Disgrace she had her ass plundered by man and woman and wooden bat in a haberdashery. For Fucking Machines she took on the Twininserter, the Hatchet, and the Intruder with vim and vigor. Her lilywhite behind took a beating from Maitresse Madeline in a live Whipped Ass shoot while Hardcore Gangbang saw Claire take on five guys in a vivid fantasy that had her imprisoned and physically abused in what appeared to be an immensely satisfying way roleplay. Everything Butt saw her team up with domme Krissy Lynn and fellow anal sub Bailey Blue for a dildo, speculum ‘n’ fisting party that saw everyones thighs twitching in orgasmic glee. It’s Claire’s two part, two day submission session for The Training of O that really impresses, though. Under the command of Jay Torque, the now-redheaded comeback cutie has her nipples clamped and stretched, all three main orifices pounded and gaped with all sorts of implements, cock included, is suspended from the ceiling by an elaborate rope construct, is chained to a heavy bucket and made to hold it while being whipped and spanked, and even has her ass opened by a metal plug while bound, gagged, and electro-pleasured with a Hitachi Magic Wand against her repeatedly cumming clitoris.

Holy shit, folks, fucking Claire Robbins is back in a big, big way – and what’s more, she shares my appreciation of union suits! (Only her ass looks a million times better in one that mine, I assure you.)

Claire Robbins