For Love of Cunt & Country

Naughty America

Every year when July 4th rolls around, citizens and residents of the United States of America don their national colors, throw back a few too many Bud Lites, and proudly boast of their homeland’s global superiority. They also, if history is any indication, beat themselves senseless in a patriotic masturbatory fury. In the past Mr. Pink’s has brought you previews and reviews of July 4th-themed porno, but this year it seems studios are focusing not on star-and-stripe bikinis but on providing viewers with hefty discounts. Here’s a look at the hottest Independence Day porno bargains on offer this year.

Naughty America seems like the most logical place to start. The Virtual Reality leader and devoted chronicler of American taboos is offering would-be subscribers a blowout deal of one full year of Naughty America access for a meager $4.95-a-month. Spizoo is also jumping in on the July 4th bargain barrage, offering 50% off your first month of membership; a $14.95 payment gets you in the door for 30 days of wondrous glam-hardcore viewing. Deviance devotees Kink.com have slashed prices too, allowing sign-ups at $12.95-a-month or $100-a-year, both prices being good for the duration of your stay. Brazzers, the ZZ, this freaky fuckers, have also lowered their yearly price to just $89.99 or $7.50-a-month, another great deal for fans of this infamous porno party.

Seriously lowering the cost of vicarious carnal satisfaction, however, are Evil Angel, Burning Angel, Fame Digital, and Mile High Media, all of which are now offering a three-day trial membership for absolutely free. How’s that for fucking freedom, y’all?

From all of us at Mr. Pink’s, have a great holiday long weekend and, please, try not to seriously maim anyone with fireworks gone awry. Maybe it’d be better to stay inside and keep to yourself… if you know what I mean.

Slutty Lil’ Pets Honor Vets

Every year Memorial Day weekend arrives and fills many Americans with relief, others with regret and loss, and others still with roaring erections brought on by the well-timed holiday releases of Passion HD and Tiny4K, two sites that place foxy young lasses in their HD crosshairs, gussies them up in red, white, and blue, and aims to celebrate all the accomplishments our nation has achieved and every sacrifice that helped bring us to where we are now. Sure, it might seem off to remember our lost brethren by watching porno, but if you’ve ever heard stories from the trenches, you know just how often pussy would be on a soldier’s mind. And with Piper Perri and Jessa Rhodes delivering this year’s Memorial Day messages, you shouldn’t have anything to complain about this weekend.

Piper Perri

Memorable Memorial Massage sees Jessa Rhodes land on Passion HD’s homepage and submit to Danny Mountain’s tender touch. Laying out on a table surrounded by US flag motifs, Jessa allows presents her incredible figure and receives the perfect long weekend rubdown before taking things to the next level by offering Danny direct access to her clit.

Patriotic Pounding pushes things into even steamier, raunchier territory, pairing the teeny-tiny Piper Perri with the deeply penetrating Chris Strokes. Piper’s admittedly almost-non-existent outfit doesn’t last long, peeled away from her erogenous zones and reveal the perfect carnal tribute to our fallen military men.

Passion HD and Tiny4K’s 2017 Memorial Day efforts aren’t its first dalliance with this particular holiday. Last year also saw the marvelous Lucy Doll and Dillion Harper don their most patriotic swimsuits and embark on celebratory sexual adventures for love of god and country. Sticking with the current offerings or dipping back into last year’s efforts will, as is usually the case with the extended Passion HD family, yield highly enjoyable and proudly patriotic results.

Rabbit Ears, Plugs, Egg Hunts, and Cunts

Celebrating the death of the Christian deity’s human form might seem like an odd reason to stay home, watch some world-class porn, and beat yourself into a blissful submission to smut, but… Well, no “buts,” really. It’s just plain weird. If you’re irreligious or non-Christian and couldn’t give a flying jizzbomb about church holidays, if the Easter Bunny and the commercial thrills available around Easter are more your bag, then watching porno makes a hell of a lot of sense for your long weekend activities. Here we’ll be looking at four Easter-themed scenes from major porno outlets all intent on helping you celebrate in their inimitable style.

Brazzers Easter porn

Brazzers is hitting its fans with two Easter episodes this year, one each for Big Wet Butts and Teens Like it Big. At Big Wet Butts we’ll be seeing Bridgette B and Bill Bailey romp around their kitchen and eventually wind up filling Ms. B’s bunny-tail-adorned ass as oil covers her fine-as-fuck body in a shiny film. Teens Like it Big welcomes the recently slimmed-down Tiffany Watson, bunny ears on her head, a tutu around her waist, egg basket in her hand, as she joins her stepbrother Jessy Jones for an egg hunt. Flirting and flashing her bro, Ms. Watson reveals a pink jeweled butt-plug and asks Jessy to fill her other cavities before Dad walks back in the room and busts them both.

Team Skeet sister-site Family Strokes continues the pseudo-familial affairs as “Uncle Mitch” dons an Easter Bunny costume and starts making moves on Avi Love. Her parents grab an iPhone and snap some family selfies with the Bunny in the background, but mom and dad remain totally obvious to the fact that Avi’s hand is firmly wrapped around his rigid rabbit dick. The folks head out for a while and Avi Love vs Easter Bunny kicks into higher gear.

“Let’s Try Anal,” says awesomely hot newbie Cecilia Fox over at the Mofos site of the same name, after finding a bottle of lube and a bunny rabbit plug as part of her boyfriend’s homemade egg hunt. And try anal she does, bending over and giving herself to her beau, bunny ears bouncing on her head the whole time.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to run off and find a last minute bunny suit in a desperate attempt to turn my Good Friday into Totally Fucking Awesome Long Weekend.

Brazzers review