A Snowy, Blowy Christmas

When it rains (or more accurately, snows) it pours! That is often true of family tragedies, tacky Christmas gifts, and holiday porn. Once Christmas Eve hit this year, the pornosphere became as inundated with red-white-and-green-tinted smut as the Midwest USA did with snow. I, Mr. Pink, your intrepid surveyor of seasonal smut, will now attempt a brief round-up of this year’s offerings from all the major and must-watch studios and sites in Adult.

Brazzers

Over at the reliably festive Passion HD, Riley Reid gushes all over a Xmas cock while Piper Perri unwraps another to pry her pussy apart. SpyFam offers up Lily Rader and her ugly-sweatered stepbro in a forbidden family tryst. The Nubiles Porn Network has delivered some goodies this year and Angel Smalls as a reluctantly elf-costumed stepsister to the aptly-named Logan Long is the latest, along with a raunchy New Year’s Eve party starring Ariel McGwire, Emma Hix, and a lucky guy named T.

Brazzers devoted three updates to a parody of everyone’s favorite holiday shoot-em-up, Die Hard, with Mia Markova in the lead role working her magnificent ass in scenes escalating in violence, drama, and sexual adventure. Torn apart from her husband, Danny Mountain, at Christmas, the blonde one-woman-army takes on her heavily-accented antagonists in a rooftop showdown for the ages, one that sees Mia deliver her incredible first DP effort.

Now offering an $8.50-a-month Holiday sale providing full access to the entire network and all 9 Premium sites, Team Skeet is a damn fine holiday bargain featuring four holiday hardcore scenes starring Jillian Janson, Katya Rodriguez, Niki Snow, and Emma Hix (who looks incredible draped in nothing but white string lights).

And, while not exactly Christmas or otherwise holiday themed – so no costumes or gift-wrap or decorated trees – Mofos has come through for its clearly valued members, unveiling a ten-scene Holiday Gift Pack of unseen, original encounters with some of this year’s most glorious new performers and a few established stars. If that isn’t the incentive you’ve been waiting for, would-be Mofos-men, then I don’t know what would be!

Brazzers review

Christmas is Cumming

Spizoo Lauren Philips

This week at Mr. Pink’s we shine a red-and-green spotlight on some seasonal early birds who’ve swooped down and left us eagle-eyed viewers with some Christmas treats with which to work up one hell of an appetite. Spizoo has, somewhat unexpectedly, beaten out all others with five exclusive holiday updates already landing on its network sites. Bang Bros is already playing catch-up and has dropped a duo while Nubiles Porn follows with a single (glorious) group effort.

Nubiles Porn expertly employs “ugly” Christmas sweaters, wrapping up Angel Smalls and Kenzie Reeves in a tacky pair. Finding that Santa has left their mom a vibrator, the pair unwrap it early and steal it for their own pleasure. Soon, step-brother Logan stumbles upon the pair and invites himself in, plowing them both beneath the glistening tree until a creampie ending leaves them all reeling.

Tiny blondes are on the minds of the Bang Bros these holidays. Bang Bros 18 welcomed Anastasia Knight to sit on Santa’s lap for a family photo, but the jolly man’s wandering hands soon reveal what she really wants for Christmas, a ride on Santa’s dick while her parents continue their sofa-bound festivities completely oblivious. Maddie Winters is picked up by the Bang Bus and coaxed into helping the guys with their Christmas Special. Gussying herself up at their request in a sexy elf outfit, she soon picks up a Santa all her own while driving around Miami, sucking and fucking him for a little extra holiday cash in true Bang Bros style.

Spizoo’s Christmas bonanza sees Cameron Canela stop by First Class POV to receive one of her Christmas wishes, a dick to suck and pound her giddy. Busty beauties Lauren Phillips and Jenevieve Hexxx share some Christmas cupcakes but end up smearing icing on each other’s tits before getting even wilder. Some vaginal stocking stuffing and ample food play later, they retire to bed after an amazing Christmas Eve. In what it’s calling “one of the best scenes of [her] stellar career,” Spizoo proudly presents Jessica Jaymes as Mrs. Claus, who gives the fat, bearded bastard a lighter load to carry, draining his sack after he injures himself on the job.

Cherie DeVille must really dig the holidays, ‘cause she has two Spizoo scenes already jingling viewers’ bells. First teasing us with a dirty talking masturbation session clad in red-and-black lingerie, she follows with an amazing FFM threeway complete with strap-on-aided DP provided by the similarly festive Aaliyah Love. Boy, what a woman!

The network is also offering a holiday membership discount: $60 for a full year of Spizoo access, the perfect gift for your oh-so-deserving self!

The holidays are upon us, so Mr. Pink’s will return right after the 25th with another seasonal review, folks. Until then, enjoy your holidays!

Halloween Porn Parade Continues

Every year we get a modest serving of Halloween-themed porno for our holiday self-entertainment needs. This year, however, was a little different. After bringing you blogs highlighting the All Hallows antics of Babes and Brazzers, there’s one last online house of ill repute that requires some kudos for its Halloween efforts this year. That studio, friends, is home to a bevy of today’s best teen-heavy hardcore sites and is most commonly known as Passion HD.

Ariana Marie

This year on its Passion HD, Tiny4k, Nanny Spy, and SpyFam websites, the network threw up four damn fine celebrations of every girl’s favorite holiday excuse to wear something cartoonish and slutty. First to arrive and landing at the brand new SpyFam, subscribers were treated to newcomer Jade Kush all gussied up as D.Va from Overwatch as she encounters a cowboy and rides him for a memorable Halloween hoe-down, all of it caught on a mix of standard cameras as CCTV-style footage for that extra voyeuristic touch.

Halloween Hookup followed at the flagship Passion HD site, bringing Ariana Marie to the lineup once again, this time as a foxy little Dorothy Gail of Kansas, who, sensing some sparks with her Scarecrow companion, hikes up her gingham dress and lets the brainless boner-sporting haystack pound her senseless.

Tiny4k welcomed another Passion HD veteran, dressing Adriana Chechik up as Wonder Woman and inviting her to work one of the studio’s biggest in-house boners after dropping her broadsword and shield, and deciding to fuck, not fight her way through another All Hallows’ Eve.

Last to grace the network’s updates page in full costume and associated regalia was Aidra Fox, appearing in Nanny’s Halloween Party Plans Busted by Dad at the also brand-spanking-new Nanny Spy. Hired to watch his spawn on Halloween night, the irrepressible Ms. Fox instead betrays her employers confidence and goes out to party. When he arrives home and figures it all out, his temper can only be dissuaded by one thing: a marvelous cock-working by his failed babysitter.

After this year’s barrage of costumed carnality, the reasons for which I still can’t quite figure, you’re probably going to need a rest from such lunacy and instead desire something a bit more sane. Next week, I assure you, Mr. Pink’s will deliver exactly that. Until then, rest your candy-addled body and save some stamina for the rest of the year, why don’t ya?