Makin’ Memorial Day Memories

Elsa Jean

The United States’ national day of remembrance of those who died serving in the armed forces defending our freedom from despots and tyrants and that ol’ reliable threat of communist dominos. A much sadder version of Veterans Day is how some people think of Memorial Day, the focus being on those no longer with us. But how do we best remember those men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice for their nation. Why, we shoot some racy Memorial Day porn in their honor, of course!

Monday saw many of us kicking back in the outdoors, barbecuing something bloody, drinking something bubbly, and daydreaming about a life where everyday is a holiday. The major porn networks, though, were releasing their Memorial Day celebrations, trying to steal us porn lovers away from family, friends, and backyard football in favor of triple-headed blowjobs, stars-and-stripes bikinis, and explosive sex with foxy American babes.

Naughty America’s My Friend’s Hot Girl site presented a trio of incredible women – Abigail Mac, Anastasia Hart, and Subil Arch – in a soapy boat-washing sessions after which they all pounced on the owner, Johnny Castle, insisting that now his boat is spotless and clean, it’s time for Johnny to take care of this trio.

Passion HD brought in porno newbie Lucy Doll, she of mousey high-pitched voice, inviting her to don a red, white, and blue bikini, jump in the hot tub, twerk just above the waterline, and take her fill of… why it’s Johnny Castle again, having the best Memorial Day any working stiff could ask for! A brand new site by the same folks behind Passion HD also joined in the celebrations of the day, Lubed bringing another POV view of lithe young blonde Elsa Jean as she oiled up her nubile body, stared into the camera lens, and fucked “your” brains out, this time white Chad White doing to the deep-dicking honors. Tiny4K, also connected to the Passion HD network, roped in fan favorite Dillion Harper for ‘Red, White and Brunette’ a showcase of Harper’s delectable curves, sweet demeanor, and devotion to life, liberty, and the pursuit of sexual bliss. Sucking a popsicle that soon melts from skin contact, a cum-covered Dillion ends her scene with an obvious sign-off “Happy Memorial Day.”

It may not be clear must how these hardcore romps from Naughty America, Passion HD, Tiny4K, and Lubed really honor the memories of those who died fighting for the USA, except that this, folks, is A) Why the terrorists hate us, B) evidence of our unparalleled freedoms, C) what those brave soldiers died for, the chance to beat off to themed porn during a national holiday.

Easter Comes Closer

Bambi Brooks

This time of year it’s not at all uncommon to find pornstars wearing bunny-ear headbands with whiskers and a small black noise painted on their faces, bouncing around in search of a holiday treat. This year, Reality Kings, Team Skeet, and Passion HD lead the charge of brand new Easter porn with a strong showing of scenes ranging from Easter Bunny cosplay to egg-hunters discovering something else instead, all the way to Easter orgies that bring women and men together in spiritual and sexual harmony. Let’s crack this delectable pornographic egg open and see what kinda candy flows out, huh, folks?

Team Skeet site Exxxtra Small this Easter sees teeny-tiny Bambi Brooks bounce around an expansive garden in search of chocolate eggs. Following a trail of goodies into a strange bedroom, the young Ms. Brooks soon finds herself face-to-cock with Karlo Karrera. Reality Kings makes its Easter contribution via Cum Fiesta in a scene starring stunningly curvaceous newcomer Skyla Novea. With rabbit ears atop her head and a skimpy black bodysuit barely hiding her amazing figure, Skyla soon drops to her knees to show Brick Danger how eager she is to make this an Easter to remember. Passion HD’s contribution is also an Easter Egg hunt, this time starring another young blonde spinner, Alex Grey, in a scene that seem fairly similar to Exxxtra Small’s contribution.

Really, though, fuck-fans… Where are the bunny-costumed women smashing melting chocolate against each others’ bodies, ditching church to lick cunt, and otherwise pushing Easter porn further than ever before? How would you like to see your favorite porn studios, sites, and networks celebrate the Easter season? Leave a comment, let Mr. Pink’s know, and I’ll do my damnedest to lobby studios to develop wilder holiday properties, you have my word.

Porn’s Valentine Variety Pack

Gracie Glar Valentine's

Every February, shortly after the 14th, many of us find ourselves in diminished spirits. Whether treated to a memorable Valentine’s Day by a lover or left by your lonesome on the most romantic day of the year, the feast of St. Valentine can be more than a little distressing for some. And, when it comes to lifting spirits and strengthening libidinous resolve, few things are as encouraging as pornography. This year we saw numerous sites and networks trot out V-Day updates that went in both directions: romantic and anti-romantic. From tender lovemaking between real-life couples to all-out orgies that throw out conventional ideas of romance and seduction, porn has something for everyone – you just need to know where to look.

Reality Kings’ contribution to 2016’s Valentine’s Day porno slate saw Sophia Leone and hey big-dicked boyfriend getting all romantic at Moms Bang Teens, in what they thought was an empty house. In walks Sophia’s stepmom, Jamie Valentine, who decides to step in and show the youngsters that an older woman can offer something truly sexy: experience.

Sophia Leone
Setting fans up for a double dose of red lingerie and aggressive fucking, Brazzers brought new V-Day scenes to Mommy Got Boobs and Real Wife Stories, the former starring Jaclyn Taylor as a wife trying on various seductive outfits to find the right one to push her husband’s libido into overdrive. Only it’s not her husband who just opened her bedroom door, but her stepson, and his eyes are firmly trained on his stepmom’s tits. Brandy Aniston lent her asshole to Real Wife Stories and Jessy Jones for a solid 30-minute anal slamming that she hopes will convince him to both stick around a few more years and take her shopping.

Brazzers Valentine's

Naughty America arguably triumphed on Valentine’s Day, putting most other sites and network, and their V-Day scenes to shame, with a pair of scenes starring two of the most popular pornstars around: Mia Malkova and Gracie Glam. Mia, for her contribution, finds her boyfriend busy on Valentine’s Day… but not his friend, Johnny Castle, who she soon has buried between her thick thighs. Continuing its excellent run of Virtual Reality porn updates, Naughty America VR brought its viewers the one and only Gracie Glam in her very first VR scene for the network, a scene that saw her work her marvelous body, clad here in semi-sheer red bodysuit, not only in a thrilling POV-shot scene, but one that adds visual depth and just might have you convinced you’re banging this babe yourself. (Well, we can dream, can’t we?)

Mia Malkova

Gracie Glam

So, whether your Valentine’s Day saw you removing clothing and exchanging pleasures with a special someone or stroking yourself silly then falling asleep before The Walking Dead premier, you can relive Valentine’s Day to your satisfaction with this commendable collection of Valentine’s porn from some of Mr. Pink’s favorite porno outfits.

Oh, and if you didn’t hear it from anyone else on the 14th, I, Mr. Pink, love you, dear reader.