When Is a Pseudo-Celebrity Teen Mom’s Sex Tape Not a Sex Tape?

Farrah Abraham's sex tape"Few were surprised when tabloid news outlets began reporting that Farrah Abraham, star of MTV’s Teen Mom, would be the subject of a “leaked sex tape”. “Private” footage of pseudo-celebrities having sex has become another blatantly obvious attention grabbing technique used by those struggling to remain in the fading spotlight or seeking to make a name for themselves without any discernible talents or worthwhile attributes (except an enticing body) and Ms. Abraham’s star certainly wasn’t on the ascent after her Teen Mom stint. What makes this case of celebrity skin slightly different is that, while many suspected the sex tapes of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Tila Tequila were as phony as penile growth supplements, Abraham’s case is so riddled with inconsistencies, professional touches, and absurd statements from the source that it couldn’t possibly be regarded as remotely authentic.

1. Abraham claims the tape was made for her own personal use yet later said she’d not sell the movie for “anything less than a couple million”, a clear sign of her true intentions.

2. “Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom” co-stars James Deen, the single most popular, most famous, and most newsworthy male adult performer currently working. Who hires a porn stud for a private recording?

3. The sex scene, which runs about 42 minutes, is identical in most respects to any POV hardcore scene you’d find on Porn Pros or Reality Kings, from the lighting, lack of cutting, and roaming camerawork to Abraham’s rote, sterile attempts at teasing and seduction.

4. Deen, a man of no small girth, manages to enter Abraham’s titular “backdoor” without much of a warmup and almost no lubrication. That’s not real couple anal sex, folks, that’s porno anal sex.

5. To the ire of Abraham and her remarkably supportive, devoutly Christian father, Deen told various tabloid outlets that the whole point of the shoot was to “leak” a phoney “sex tape”. The Abraham family has called Deen “an opportunist”, clearly overestimating Farrah’s pop culture prominence while underestimating his.

Nevertheless, Abraham is insisting that the tape, which can now be seen online at Vivid Entertainment, was shot without a commercial release in mind. Now that her deal with Vivid has been inked, though, she seems content to be a daughter, mother, self-tanning addict, and talking point for at least the next week.

Still, reports from New York Post and TMZ claim Vivid’s servers were inundated with 2 million visitors within 12 hours of posting, so to what do we chalk up her millions of hits? It’s simple: morbid curiosity, James Deen, and the seemingly universal appeal of fucking celebrities in the ass.

No on B: the Teleplay!

With Americans preparing to go to the polls in just a few days, there’s plenty of discussion about who to vote for, who not to vote for, and whether or not presidential candidate Roseanne Barr is even on the ballot. Angelenos, however, will have to decide on one county measure that could see thousands out of work, hundreds of companies moving out of state, and the government having far too much control over, of all things, the adult entertainment industry.

Measure B is the controversial ordinance that would, in essence, make shooting porn without condoms and other protective devices illegal, and would see offenders fined and possibly jailed. Proponents of the measure cite allegedly rampant STD and HIV infection rates among adult performers and claim the ordinance is about protecting those having sex on camera. Opponents argue that Measure B is an infringement of their constitutional right to have sex however they see fit, on camera or off; that the adult industry is aggressively self-regulated and performers are much less likely to contract an STD than someone fucking in the general populace; that, if enacted, the ordinance would see the adult industry moving out of state, causing a huge increase in unemployment rates due to lack of work for those that work in off-screen positions throughout the industry; and, according to MarketWatch, it would cost LA county “in excess of $300,000″ to start the program and $1.7 million or more per year to maintain, according to a report from Los Angeles Fire Department.

You, however, might not be in LA and might not see what all the fuss is about. How convenient then that James Deen and Jessica Drake, both staunch opponents of the measure, have, under Kimberly Kane’s direction, produced the following informational video, showing what porn could very well be like should Measure B pass.

No on Measure B

Lexi Belle Grows Up

Lexi Belle analEven though she had once declaratively stated that her anus was “too tiny” for penile penetration, everyone’s favorite pixie of porn, Lexi Belle, has relented and shot her very first anal sex scene. What made her finally changed her mind? Was it the clamoring of her adoring fans, an opening in anal master James Deen’s schedule, or a big, fat paycheck? Was it even, perhaps, just the right offer at the right time.

In the lengthy introductory interview segment of the scene, which can be found in Elegant Angel’s new release ‘Lexi’, the bubbly and clearly excited Ms. Belle explains that in this, her seventh year in adult entertainment, she found that many of her sexual firsts – first blowjob, first threesome, first time with a woman – had been on camera, “on display for you” she says, referring to her fans. She admits to having grown up on camera and says “There comes a time when you… grow up a little bit more. This year I’m gonna be 25 and [I’m] gonna try something different, something big.”

That something big is James Deen. He’s been many pornstars’ first on-screen anal experience and Lexi couldn’t be in more capable hands. While I won’t go into detail about the scene itself aside from saying that, yes, it definitely was worth the wait, I will ask you, Mr. Pink’s readers, who’s left. Now that long-time anti-anal performer Lexi Belle has finally opened herself up in a new way, who remains that hasn’t taken one in the rear for her viewing audience? And while I may be overestimating my influence in this industry, if you let me know whose ass you’re dying to see pounded, I’ll tweet the hell out of her and make sure she knows!

Until then, here’s a taste of what’s in store for Lexi in her first self-titled feature with Elegant Angel’s trailer.

Around the World with James Deen, Gentleman

We’re all well aware that Americans and the English have very different attitudes toward sex – and to who else but celebrities should we turn for examples? Stateside, famous folks are prone to hiding their incredible acts of debauchery until they’re found out by TMZ or a nosy neighbor, at which point they might issue a public apology and hug their spouse, seek treatment for “sex addiction”, or simply vanish from the public eye while Jay Leno makes jokes at their expense for a good thirteen or fourteen minutes. In England, legend has it,  the Brits are a bit more reserved. There’s not much that’s funny about sex in the UK, hence “spotted dick“.

Nowhere is the sexual and cultural divide more evident than in these photoshoots starring everyone’s favorite pornstar-cum-thespian, James Deen. Appearing in the US and UK editions of GQ and GQ: Style respectively, the shoots give us great insight into what those in each nation regard as sexy, at least where men are concerned. Check it out!

James Deen UK GQ James Deen GQ

Misti Dawn’s Vegas Wedding

Misti DawnRedheaded alt.porn goddess and Burning Angel’s reigning super-nerd, Misti Dawn, is one of Joanna Angel and Co.’s breakout stars. Well, she was until she found herself in something of a predicament. As she detailed recently on her blog, Meow Misti Dawn, the native Indianan celebrated her continued success in porn by trading vows and marrying fellow adult performer, Michael Vegas, in, well, Las Vegas, of course. One of the hottest young alt.pornstars in the business getting hitched to a well-endowed gentleman of similar professional pursuits – that, my friends, is what we call a porno dream come true.

Sharing their physical selves with others for money is one thing, but Misti and Michael shared so much more. After calls from fans for the tattooed redhead to give up her rear passage, Misti followed her anal debut (with James Deen in Burning Angel’s LA Pink) with a few interracial scenes in which she spread her lilywhite cheeks for dicks that’d usually have your average midwestern gamer-girl quaking in her Chuck Taylors. Mr. and Mrs. Vegas also spread their love online, both by appearing in scenes together and hosting blogs, podcasts, and their private sexual adventures with an audience that, truth be told, probably only cared because Misti is one of the more relatable and charming pornstars, “alt” or otherwise, of recent years.

As things so frequently seem to, though, Misti’s moment of porn industry bliss didn’t last long.