An Ode to Rocco

rocco siffredi

I’m all torn up, you guys. Our hero, the Italian Stallion himself, the world’s pornstar, Rocco Siffredi has officially retired from performing. You’ll have to excuse this interruption to Mr. Pink’s regularly scheduled and styled blog posts, ’cause I’m just too emotional right now to write anything but, but…… poetry!

Years ago, an Italian lad
A young stallion, name of Rocco
In his mind’s eye, did shout “Egads!”
and his intuition follow
From one girl to four to fifteen, true
No number overwhelmed him
But Rocco, who will follow you
Now you’ve thrown the towel in

I fear that I am brokenhearted
Though I’m sure I will recover
Unlike the girls whose cheeks he parted
‘fore their faces he did cover
Longing to with him work again
Pro sluts cry out in pain
“Oh, Rocco, our dear Rocco
Porn will never be the same”

Personally, I must agree
The loss is ours, not yours
So I’ll reign in my jealousy
As your wife had done hers

I wish your kin no sadness
I wish your kin no grief
So let me now extend my hand
in congratulations to your wife
Rosa, the Rocco-thief

rocco siffredi review

The Interview Heads to Hustler

the interview

Now that Sony Pictures has cancelled all release plans for the controversial Seth Rogen, James Franco comedy The Interview, prospective fans are wondering if the film will find another life after the nightmare of its proposed theatrical release. North Korean supreme leader, King Jong Un has denied his government had connection to an invasive hack that brought Sony Pictures to its digital knees, a connection strongly suggested by media pundits. Americans are rightfully concerned that Sony’s bowing to the wishes of a cyber-terrorist group, no matter how dubious their origins, sets a precedent for erasing our hard-won freedom to laugh at whatever the fuck we want. And that, dear reader, is something Larry Flynt of Hustler Magazine holds very, very dear.

Telling the Hollywood Reporter that he’d “spent a lifetime fighting for the First Amendment,” and declaring that “no foreign dictator is going to take away [his] right to free speech,” Flynt announced This Ain’t The Interview XXX, his company’s parody version of the doomed political comedy. “If Kim Jong Un and his henchmen were upset before, wait till they see the movie we’re going to make.”

And, whaddya know, it appears President Obama might be right on Flynt’s side this time: “We cannot have a society in which some dictators someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States because if somebody is able to intimidate us out of releasing a satirical movie, imagine what they start doing once they see a documentary that they don’t like or news reports that they don’t like. That’s not who we are. That’s not what America is about.”

No, he’s right. America’s about tits. Lots and lots of tits. (And maybe some heavy duty ass, too!)

Japanese Vagina Artist Arrested (Again)

Megumi Igarashi
Megumi Igarashi Photograph: Rokude Nashiko and Marie Akatani/AFP/Getty Images

Megumi Igarashi, a Japanese artist keen on exploring taboo images of the human body’s many marvelous forms and functions, has been arrested in Tokyo for the second time after authorities suspected her of sending a url “that shows her plan to create a boat using three-dimensional obscene data to a large number of people”. Igarashi, who works under the name Rokudenashi-ko (“Good-for-nothing Girl”), was arrested on similar charges in July, charges relating to her efforts to raise funds for the production of a 3D-printed kayak made in tribute to her own genitalia.

“I don’t believe my vagina is anything obscene,” Igarashi told the press in July. “I was determined I would never yield to police power.” Her most recent arrest could see Igarashi charged with ‘distributing or holding obscene materials for the purpose of selling’ and facing a 2.5M Yen or USD $21,000 fine and/or up to two years in jail. And all for showing a replica of her genitals to art patrons and audiences who, odds are, either have similar physical makeups or have seen such body parts up close and personal many times before.

Article 175 of Japan’s Criminal Code, written in 1907 and remaining virtually unchanged in its present form, classifies depictions of pubic hair and genitalia as obscenity – hence the ridiculous pixelation of genitals in most Japanese porn – and could prove the undoing of controversial artist Igarashi, who is still being held even after the release of a women’s sex shop proprietor also arrested in connection with the enormously controversial work. Denying her visits from anyone aside from her legal team, Tokyo police appear to be relentless in their pursuit of a conviction, but not necessarily because of any alleged danger the artist’s work might pose to the public. Igarashi’s attorney, Takeshi Sumi admitted that “Since the arrest last time, [Igarashi] has been very vocal in her cartoons and speeches criticizing police. They seem to have arrested her again [her third without being yet indicted] again to safeguard their integrity.” Well, while it sure makes our local police issues seem like the fucking apocalypse in comparison, Megumi Igarashi’s story is one we should treat with the utmost seriousness.

First they came for the 3D-printed vagina kayaks…