Family Ties – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

I got pregnant during my senior year of high school, and married my boyfriend on the night all of my classmates were getting their diploma. That was 5 years ago and we have two children now. We’ve lived from the beginning with my in-laws, which is nice, they babysit and we can save money for a house we want to one day buy. The problem is, my husband remains a “grown ass man living at home,” and does nothing to help me. His Dad has been the male figure in my life growing up. And, he’s also been my go to guy on many occasions as well. He’s dried my tears, kicked me in the ass when I needed one through encouraging advice, and, well, last night, when I was upset after a fight with my husband, he was consoling me and then suddenly we kissed. I find myself being very attracted to my father in law, but I’m also feeling a lot of guilt over it.

– Family Ties

Dear Friend;

First of all, even though sharing a kiss with your Father-In-Law was wrong on many levels, try to save some of the energy you’re using in beating yourself up over it, to assuring it doesn’t happen again.

The past five years sounds to have been a different style of life for you. Not having the luxury of being in your own home to raise your family and to build a marriage with your husband is the beginning of the problem. It’s understandable having the assistance with the family and the ability to put a few dollars in the bank is a perk, but, what are you sacrificing for that to happen? As long as your spouse lives under the same roof as he did as a carefree senior in high school is going to keep him in that same frame of mind. So, to rule on the first aspect of your issues, it’s time to take that moldy money out and put it towards not just your future, but your marriage, if not, there may not be anything to save for. Start filling out loan applications and when listing your assets, be sure within your heart, the love for the man you married still rings true.

Now, in some ways, there’s an unspoken understanding for the closeness you feel for your Father-In-Law, after all, he’s been “the man of the house” that your husband hasn’t. All of the little things that make you feel safe, and also security for your family, has come from this man. He’s taking care of all of your needs, and, in a roundabout way, the intimacy factor goes hand in hand many times when the other avenues have been addressed and you feel the appreciation. While your husband is laying on the couch sucking down a cold beer and leaving his boxer shorts on the bathroom floor, his Dad has succeeded in being the MAN you need, the rock that helps keep you strong.

Your gratitude, and friendship for this older man is now leading you down a path that could be a very dangerous place to travel. If things progress, many hearts could be broken, which includes your own, and your entire family. Today it’s a kiss, tomorrow it might be some harmless second base feeling of the genitals, and by next week, you may be hoisting your legs into the air for some missionary madness. No matter how much you’re tempted, keep your feet planted firmly on the floor, and part your lips only to utter, “It’s time for a change.” Shave the hardcore sex for your hubby. Preserve the closeness you have with your Father-In-Law by saving yourself. If you still want to be with your husband, then put down your foot and tell him it’s time he grows up, you’re already raising two babies, you don’t need a third. If your feelings for him have changed, then consider that a passage into independence that you’re going to be strong enough to face. Your priority are those babies, do what’s best for them, and also for yourself, and that doesn’t include sharing stolen kisses with the man from whom helped create your husband.

Fed Up With Tech – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

I’ve had my fill of technology, because it’s ruining my relationship! My girlfriend and I have lived together for nearly 6 years, and she use to hang on every word I said, we would go places, do things together and have a wonderful time. Our sex life was as amazing as the rest of our relationship. About 3 years ago, she wrapped herself up in texting, tweeting and social networking, leaving no room in her life for me. I try taking her for dinner, she’s checking her phone and sending messages the entire time, we can’t go to the movies because it’s too dark in there for her to see her phone. Even when trying to have sex, if her phone goes off, she literally climbs out of bed to see who’s texted her. I want things the way they use to be!

Fed Up With Tech!!!

Dear Friend;

Don’t feel as though you’re alone in your plight for the attention of your significant other, there are people lodging complaints at the water cooler every day. There are times when something new comes along that captures the attention, and then, once the excitement wears off, things go back to being the normal, but, it seems as though this lifestyle is here to stay for many.

There’s something about wanting to be in the depths of others’ personal lives, whether it’s those sharing a friends list, or celebrities that post comment and pictures, putting a piece of themselves out there for the world to latch onto, and, for those that are engrossed on these updates, they become obsessed with knowing everything minute by minute, and, unfortunately, in doing so, they lose touch with the reality of their own lives.

Maybe a bit of self instilled discipline is called for. Talk to her, tell her you’re feeling left out in her life and ask her what’s more important, her virtual world or the life you two are building. By all means though, talk it out as a couple, don’t just put your foot down and expect her to “obey” your orders, that will push her away all together. As a joint decision, maybe instill boundaries to, meal time is shared without the bells and whistles of notifications, the only ringing to be heard is the sound of the microwave kicking off after warming chocolate for dipping strawberries into. Also, date nights are for the two of you only, pictures can be taken but the uploading is saved for the next day. And when the lights are turned out at night, so is the WIFI. The cell phone is left on the charger while batteries are placed into the vibrator, enhancing the foreplay that will have her saturating the sheets and the two of you getting back to the basics of boner meeting beauty!

Hard Feelings – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

I’m not a happy woman right now. I’ve been married for just shy of 10 years, to a man that I’ve always been turned on by, and, I thought he felt the same. He’s never had medical issues since we’ve been together, and yet, this morning, our local pharmacy called to tell me his prescription was ready for pick-up. I was confused, but, didn’t let on to them over the phone, instead, I went down to retrieve a small white envelope, holding a single bottle of pills. My heart was racing, I was afraid something was physically wrong with him that he’d not worried me with. My fingers were trembling when I pulled the bottle out and looked to see it was for Viagra! WHAT? I don’t understand why he’d be taking it, there’s never been an issue with our sex life, but, it said it was his 3rd refill of 5 for the prescription. I’m so angry, I’m wanting to erupt when he walks in the door, but, I also don’t want to handle it wrongly.

“Hard” Feelings

Dear Friend;

Okay, first of all, I’m assuming since you found the Viagra in the pharmacy bag, you’ve not jumped your husband’s bones lately, so, let’s not jump to conclusions either.

There is a vast array of issues that can cause erectile dysfunction for men, stress with the job, age, medical issues, depression, and the list goes on and on. Even though you’ve been married for quite some time, you truly don’t know how long he may or may not have been indulging in this medication, it could be something he’s taken since your dating days and you’re just not aware of it. Being a woman, I know how the female mind works, and I can pretty much state you’re thinking one of two things, either he’s not sexually aroused by you anymore, or, he’s having an affair and needs the extra boost for his boner. But, step outside the box and think past the estrogen filled logic.

Did you ever consider that he’s embarrassed to mention any problem he might be having with you? Yes, you’ve been in a long term relationship, but still, a male’s stamina and sexuality is still something they hold near and dear, and, you even said your sex life has always been wonderful, so, I’m sure he wants to keep it that way and not let you down. He may also think if he were to tell you there was a problem in the lower-forty area of his anatomy, you would jump to the same conclusion you now have, that, you don’t turn him on and he needs help. In a situation such as this, it’s normal for the male to think each time there’s hardcore sex to be had, you’re going to wonder if it’s him wanting you, or just a reaction from the Viagra.

If you’ve not noticed anything different in the bedroom, then keep this in mind. Those types of medications only do so much, but there is also the need of being excited and enticed to want things to be on the rise, and, apparently, you’re doing that for him. He’s getting up and having an orgasm with you, that’s a very good sign.

Before you assume anything, put your ego on the back burner. Sit down and talk to him in a rational manner, you may be surprised with the truth he offers, be supportive and sexy for him. If he thinks you’re disgusted and disappointed in his manhood, or, he feels you don’t trust him in the area of fidelity, it’s going to bring with it an even harder pill to swallow.

Fucked Over – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

I’m a male, 34 years old, I’m financially stable and most of the time, I like to think I’m mentally stable too, but, these days, I wonder. I’ve been involved with a woman for the last 5 years. Recently, a new employee was hired into her office, a lesbian. They immediately became friends, and she was all she would talk about. I had a bit of jealousy churning in my gut, especially after I was told they’d kissed and she felt a spark, and felt as if we needed to take a break from one another, to see if we were truly compatible. While my jaw was dropped, she’d packed her things and was gone. We continued to talk on the phone. She had moved back in with her parents but didn’t want to be there, so, I offered to let her come back while she “explored” herself, I had to have her back in my life, I love her. At first we stayed in separate bedrooms, then, one night, she let me into her room and we’ve been sleeping together and having hardcore sex again. She would still see her lesbian friend occasionally, but, I thought we were solid. Last night, she left her laptop on and when I walked past, it was still logged into her email account. I found she’d been exchanging letters with my brother, not just friendly notes, but, nude pictures and also writings of the sex they’d been sharing. I want to confront her, but, I don’t want her to leave, I’m hanging onto every morsel I can. She’s a cheater, but, what does that make me?

– Fucked over by a female

Dear Friend;

If you’d gone back and re-read the words you sent to me, I think you would have easily been able to answer your own question of, “What does that make me?” Excuse my bluntness, but, I’m assuming you wouldn’t have written to me if you didn’t want me to shoot straight from the hip with the truth, but, my answer for you would be….pathetic! Back up and look at things, you said you’re mid 30’s, and financially secure, two huge things in your favor, use those to begin rebuilding upon.

Your girlfriend is in search of something about herself, but in finding what may or may not be missing, she’s destroying you. She felt a spark when kissing another woman, that may mean she’s being explorative, or, she may be bisexual, that’s only for her to know for certain. If sliding her tongue over a hardened clitoris excites her more than offering you a blowjob, then it could be her preference, or a lack of feeling for you. Since she’s now moved on to – not just another man, but your sibling, that tells me she’s on the prowl for something different and a bit naughty. Knowing she’s having intercourse with you and your brother is keeping an almost fetish filled spark burning within her.

Honestly speaking, if she’s now been with not only another woman, but also a male while still in a relationship with you, that’s a sign there could be more relationships that you don’t know about.

You said you were hanging onto every morsel you can, but, if you were to open your eyes, you’ll see that’s all you have, crumbs that she tosses to you only when she wants. You’re being used for a roof over her head and an orgasm now and then, but there’s nothing emotionally binding her to you. It’s time you take your life back.

You’ve given her a home, sex, understanding and compassion, now, it’s time you offer your inner strength and self respect. Neatly pack up her belongings and set them outside the front door, have the locks changed and then go on with your life. What you’re feeling isn’t love, it’s stemming from something deep within you, a lack of self confidence and/or self respect, of some sort, making you feel that she’s the only one that can put a smile on your face. In my heart of hearts, I believe you’ve known for quite some time she’s not the girl for you, but, sometimes it’s easier to hold onto what we’re familiar with, rather than seeking something new, refreshing and built on honesty.

Grab the broom and dustpan, sweep up those morsels and toss them into the trash, just like any other broken item that can’t be repaired, it’s time to find a replacement, because you’re being screwed in more way than one.

Quick Satisfaction – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

I’m a female, in my early 40’s and have never been married. Actually I’ve only had a couple relationships in my life that lasted more than a few weeks. I’m more than self sufficient financially, I have friendships and activities outside of work, my life is set in a mode that I feel more than comfortable with, and, I truly have no desire for a relationship, I never have. I’m not wanting to sound like a snob of some sort, I just don’t want to deal with the hassle of answering to anyone, being home at a certain time, or, suddenly feeling as though I have someone in my life other than myself to take care of. Of course, I also enjoy sex, often, but the type with no strings attached. I meet men in bars, at work, social gatherings, social networks, etc., but, none of them are more than a one night stand. I’m obsessed with stranger sex, and, it’s to a point where even I am starting to worry about myself. I don’t feel like I’m in a “normal” frame of mind anymore, am I wrong?

– Quick Satisfaction

Dear Quick;

First of all, allow me to say kudos for you being at not only a well established point in your life, but, also for knowing what you want, getting it and enjoying your inhabitance.

Forgive me for making an assumption, but, the sound of your letter led me to think you have sex quite often in the means you described, and, if that’s the case, there seems to be a definite control issue living and breathing within you. You’re meticulous in explaining how secure you are in most every aspect of your life, you made it happen, and it sounds as if you work very hard to keep it that way, but, that control is also sifting into your sexual prowling.

I don’t think I really have the need to mention the obvious, in the form of the “stranger danger” scenario. Times have changed, and even though there has always been a bit of a red flag when it comes to sharing intimacy as a one night stand, it seems it’s risen in the possibility of things possibly going terribly wrong. I doubt there’s a person alive that hasn’t fantasized about that one time, just being penetrated with a complete and total, wild abandonment, by someone we don’t know and feel sure we’ll never see again. To shed any inhibitions and for once in our lives just cutting loose every ounce of lust and letting the moment consume us, but, when it’s become a lifestyle of choice, that says there could be a problem.

If you don’t want a relationship, that’s understandable, but, keep in mind, there are men in the world as well that enjoy the, “no strings attached” sort of scenario, but, also want to feel monogamous, not wanting to be with something so promiscuous, for fear of sexually transmitted diseases and such. Find someone, both of you have testing to be sure you’re disease free and then call each other your fuck buddy, you can keep a one on one sexual status and still not have the hassles of cooking for two and folding boxer shorts as part of your Saturday, laundry ritual.

If it’s the thrill and almost fetish nature of the type of sex you’re having at this time, and you don’t think you can stop, then I would have to highly recommend some sort of counseling. There’s nothing Pollyanna about the world today, don’t deceive yourself into thinking, “It could never happen to me,” it can happen to anyone. There’s more than one way to practice safe sex.