Mr. Skin’s 2016 Guide to Nudes

Mr. Skin

For many, 2016 has been one disaster after another. Cultural icons seemed to kick the bucket en masse, taking away many shining lights of our entertainment-addicted lives. Mr. Skin, intrepid pointer-out of celebrity nudity, once just female but now also male, takes to his blog roll around this time every year to recap the best and most beautiful appearances of naked female celebrity skin on the small screen. And, thankfully, this year delivered some treats that could help reinvigorate your interest in 2017.

Mr. Skin’s 2016 Top Ten sees notable names and almost-complete unknowns share list space on shows for HBO, Netflix, Starz, and other networks, confirming that TV is indeed getting more raunchy and risqué with every passing season. Still need proof to get you back on the sofa? How about these ten skin-baring turns from Hollywood sex symbols both legend and debutante?

Chelsea Handler is rarely shy about baring her naked body and this season of Chelsea was no different, seeing the host take a topless dip in a Russian bath house. Lina Esco of Audience Network’s MMA drama Kingdom took the ninth spot thanks to her wild and numerous sex scenes. Ruby Modine, daughter of actor Matthew, followed in her dad’s nude-friendly footsteps in Shameless for Showtime, which also saw Sasha Alexander and Sherilyn Feen ditch their duds. Cinemax’s original series Quarry showcased Jodi Balfour in what seemed like an abundance of sex scenes baring her breasts and butt. Ashley Green of detective drama Rogue got naked alongside Thandie Newton and Kira Clavell, earning her a spot at #6.

Game of Thrones is well known for its gritty violence and copious sexual activity, some of which involved Eline Powell and her perfect pair of bared breasts. Arguably the most famous name on Mr. Skin’s 2016 list, Olivia Wilde stepped from her costumes in HBO’s massively ill-advised music industry drama Vinyl, at least giving viewers a strong reason to keep tuning in. The top three places on the list went not to individual actresses but to the shows that host them: HBO’s Westworld remake saw plenty of onscreen flesh from Evan Rachel Wood, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, and Thandie Newton (again); Joe Swanberg’s indie drama Easy delivered more sex than many erotic movies, bringing the bods of Malin Akerman, Kate Micucci, Elizabeth Reaser, Aislin Derbez, and Emily Ratajkowski to the screen. Somewhat predictably topping the list is a show that, had it not featured plenty of nudity and blatant fucking, would have gone unwatched by millions (more). The Girlfriend Experience, based on the Steven Soderbergh movie starring Sasha Grey, served up many salacious moments starring Riley Keough (Elvis’s granddaughter!) and a handful of awesome indie actresses.

For the full rundown on who placed where and why, check out Mr. Skin’s Podcast. And, hey, while you’re there, why not consider a membership to the greatest celebrity skin venture ever embarked upon?

Mr. Skin review

David Bowie – 1947-2016

David Bowie - 1947-2016

The recent death of musician/songwriter/actor/legend/space oddity David Bowie last week sent the music-loving world into mourning and, while the other recent rock ‘n’ roll deaths of Motorhead’s Lemmy Kilmister and the Eagles’ Glenn Frey also shook many of us, nobody had the effect that Bowie did. One crucial element of Bowie’s longevity and resounding influence is sexual. Declaring himself gay in 1972 then revising his identification to bisexual four years later, Bowie eventually regarded himself as a closeted heterosexual, someone who flirted with homosexuality and homoeroticism as a means of “flout[ing] moral code.” It was widely reported, however, that Bowie had an sexual affair with Mick Jagger during the late-60s and early-70s, lending a certain amount of credibility to his flirtation and identification with homosexual and bisexual culture and practice.

New York singer Ava Cherry claimed to have been the “filling” in a Bowie/Jagger “cookie” and Bowie’s first wife, Angie, famously claimed to not only have found her husband in bed with the Rolling Stones singer, but to have had one of the most blasé, indifferent reactions a wife could have: she made them breakfast. The two British singers collaborative 1985 hit ‘Dancing in the Street’ also raised questions about the truth of Bowie’s sexuality (and, less so, Jagger’s) after the pair spent a good deal of the music video’s runtime nose-to-nose writhing about in place.

Oh, and then there’s his alien penis and nipple self-tweaking habits.

David Bowie

In Nicolas Roeg’s 1976 film, ‘The Man Who Fell to Earth’ Bowie plays a humanoid alien, Thomas Jerome Newton, who seems to spend half the film devising water transportation devices and the other half stark raving naked, touching his humanoid form in front of a mirror, and, as Mr. Man (the all-male Mr. Skin) notes, “surrounds his star with at least five women who are willing to show indisputable proof of their gender.” And, hey, if you’ve ever wanted to see the bare asses, penises, and scrotes of Bowie and legendarily cantankerous actor Rip Torn in the same movie, The Man Who Fell to Earth is it! While Bowie never showed his dong on film again, his backside made another notable appearance in the 1983 vampire flick, The Hunger, in which Bowie played the blood-sucking husband of Catherine Deneuve and shed his clothes once more.

For me, however, David Bowie’s sexual influence and power was never as subversive or as powerful as in Jim Henson’s 1986 fantasy film ‘Labyrinth.’ Bowie starred as evil goblin king Jareth, known for his cruelty, his roguish charm, his extremely tight tights, and the giant package stuffed into his pants. If the ‘Labyrinth’ was never part of your early viewing, here’s what you’ve been missing: Crotch Magic.

 

R.I.P. David Bowie – 1947-2016

 

The Interview Heads to Hustler

the interview

Now that Sony Pictures has cancelled all release plans for the controversial Seth Rogen, James Franco comedy The Interview, prospective fans are wondering if the film will find another life after the nightmare of its proposed theatrical release. North Korean supreme leader, King Jong Un has denied his government had connection to an invasive hack that brought Sony Pictures to its digital knees, a connection strongly suggested by media pundits. Americans are rightfully concerned that Sony’s bowing to the wishes of a cyber-terrorist group, no matter how dubious their origins, sets a precedent for erasing our hard-won freedom to laugh at whatever the fuck we want. And that, dear reader, is something Larry Flynt of Hustler Magazine holds very, very dear.

Telling the Hollywood Reporter that he’d “spent a lifetime fighting for the First Amendment,” and declaring that “no foreign dictator is going to take away [his] right to free speech,” Flynt announced This Ain’t The Interview XXX, his company’s parody version of the doomed political comedy. “If Kim Jong Un and his henchmen were upset before, wait till they see the movie we’re going to make.”

And, whaddya know, it appears President Obama might be right on Flynt’s side this time: “We cannot have a society in which some dictators someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States because if somebody is able to intimidate us out of releasing a satirical movie, imagine what they start doing once they see a documentary that they don’t like or news reports that they don’t like. That’s not who we are. That’s not what America is about.”

No, he’s right. America’s about tits. Lots and lots of tits. (And maybe some heavy duty ass, too!)