David Bowie – 1947-2016

David Bowie - 1947-2016

The recent death of musician/songwriter/actor/legend/space oddity David Bowie last week sent the music-loving world into mourning and, while the other recent rock ‘n’ roll deaths of Motorhead’s Lemmy Kilmister and the Eagles’ Glenn Frey also shook many of us, nobody had the effect that Bowie did. One crucial element of Bowie’s longevity and resounding influence is sexual. Declaring himself gay in 1972 then revising his identification to bisexual four years later, Bowie eventually regarded himself as a closeted heterosexual, someone who flirted with homosexuality and homoeroticism as a means of “flout[ing] moral code.” It was widely reported, however, that Bowie had an sexual affair with Mick Jagger during the late-60s and early-70s, lending a certain amount of credibility to his flirtation and identification with homosexual and bisexual culture and practice.

New York singer Ava Cherry claimed to have been the “filling” in a Bowie/Jagger “cookie” and Bowie’s first wife, Angie, famously claimed to not only have found her husband in bed with the Rolling Stones singer, but to have had one of the most blas√©, indifferent reactions a wife could have: she made them breakfast. The two British singers collaborative 1985 hit ‘Dancing in the Street’ also raised questions about the truth of Bowie’s sexuality (and, less so, Jagger’s) after the pair spent a good deal of the music video’s runtime nose-to-nose writhing about in place.

Oh, and then there’s his alien penis and nipple self-tweaking habits.

David Bowie

In Nicolas Roeg’s 1976 film, ‘The Man Who Fell to Earth’ Bowie plays a humanoid alien, Thomas Jerome Newton, who seems to spend half the film devising water transportation devices and the other half stark raving naked, touching his humanoid form in front of a mirror, and, as Mr. Man (the all-male Mr. Skin) notes, “surrounds his star with at least five women who are willing to show indisputable proof of their gender.” And, hey, if you’ve ever wanted to see the bare asses, penises, and scrotes of Bowie and legendarily cantankerous actor Rip Torn in the same movie, The Man Who Fell to Earth is it! While Bowie never showed his dong on film again, his backside made another notable appearance in the 1983 vampire flick, The Hunger, in which Bowie played the blood-sucking husband of Catherine Deneuve and shed his clothes once more.

For me, however, David Bowie’s sexual influence and power was never as subversive or as powerful as in Jim Henson’s 1986 fantasy film ‘Labyrinth.’ Bowie starred as evil goblin king Jareth, known for his cruelty, his roguish charm, his extremely tight tights, and the giant package stuffed into his pants. If the ‘Labyrinth’ was never part of your early viewing, here’s what you’ve been missing: Crotch Magic.

 

R.I.P. David Bowie – 1947-2016

 

Phil Varone Returns to Rock

Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee dabbled in porn and so did Snoop Dogg, Ice-T, and Evan Seinfeld of hardcore legends Biohazard. Hell, Seinfeld even adopted the nom de porn ‘Spyder Jonez’ after marrying Tera Patrick and shooting a whole bunch of smut together. Recently putting Seinfeld’s nepotistic endeavors to shame, though, has been former Saigon Kick drummer Phil Varone, who just days ago announced his decision to ditch porn for the pure unadulterated carnal thrust of rock and roll!

Phil Varone Twitter

A noted lothario and admitted swinger, Varone started documenting his on-the-road exploits in an official capacity with the 2011 Vivid Video release of ‘Phil Varone’s Secret Sex Stash,’ a “celebrity sex tape” that merely set the scene for Varone’s futher ventures into the world of porn production. In 2014 Varone even managed to win an AVN Award, Best Amateur Release for ‘100% Real Swingers: Meet the Rileys,’ just one title in a series that saw him expose the seedy partner-sharing underbelly of America as well as the secret swinging lifestyle of then porno it-girl Siri. Varone also entered the erotic novelties game with Dr. Philgood, a dildo molded from his own penis by Cal Exotics that even bares the penile piercing the drummer has slid into the snatches of groupies, swingers, amateur harlots, and pornstars like Siri but will now keep off-screen.

Varone’s keeping his exact reasons for leaving porn to himself, simply telling fans that he encountered enough douchebaggery in the industry to convince him drumming for hard rock bands is more his thing. Varone’s also retiring his talent agency, The V Agency, telling media “I have always offered my talent a very high level of personalized service, but returning to music and my other projects going on have made this very hard.” (Check out Phil’s Facebook page for more, dirtier revelations or, if you’re patient, you can order the man’s memoir, Un-Philtered or wait for his next, apparently being worked on as we speak.

Look, Phil, no hard feelings but if you’re out of porn I’ll also have to move on and find another stereotypical hard rocker through which to vicariously live my dreams of banging groupies, doing coke off of brand-new shiny hi-hats, and trying some grannies on for size (although that last part might’ve been a Phil Varone specialty).

So, paging Mr. Joshua Todd of Buckcherry…. Josh Todd of Buckcherry, would you please make some porno?

Auteur Miley In/Out of Film Fest

How does an upstart film festival in the already over-saturated market of New York City make a name for itself before ever flicking on a projector or dimming the theater lights? Schedule a screening of an erotic short film made by and starring one of pop music’s most controversial (and sexually provocative) young women, that’s how!

miley cyrus

The first ever NYC Porn Film Festival, set to take place between February 27th and March 1st in Bushwick, Brooklyn, announced earlier this month that it would screen an four-and-a-half-minute bondage-themed short film shot by director Quentin Jones for Miley Cyrus’s 2014 Bangerz tour. The festival program had ‘Miley Cyrus: Tongue Tied’ schedule to screen in the same block as ‘Tila Tequila: Backdoored & Squirting’ but mere hours later, the listing for Tongue Tied had disappeared from the festival website.

In a statement, festival organizer Simon Leahy told Buzzfeed that they had removed all mention of Cyrus and her film from their website and promotional materials. “We hoped the film screened alongside great artists such as Amalia Ulman, Bradford Kessler, Richard Kern, Beth B, James Franco, Narcissister, would create a bigger discourse around art, sexuality, gender and pornography,” read a statement issued by the festival office. For her part, Miley’s camp insists neither she nor Jones were ever directly involved with the inaugural NYC Porn Film Festival, only that “Miley was proud to make a film with acclaimed filmmaker Quentin Jones.” (At least there’s still you, Tila Tequila.)

tila tequila

Miley Cyrus: Tongue Tied can be viewed below (via YouTube) and is likely to be included in the upcoming Bangerz Tour DVD due for release on March 24th.