Bree Olson: Hollywood Douchebag

Bree OlsonWhen Bree Olson, anal-loving, pregnancy-fantasizing adult superstar, got tangled up in the most recent Charlie Sheen trainwreck, came out the other side only to turn her back on porn and retire, many of us thought we’d never hear her candy-coated, slightly shrill voice again. And then she turned into a pop star.

With her debut music video, ‘Hollywood Douchebag’, Bree Olson is angling for your attention once again, only this time she’s not using her tits and pussy to get it. (Well, she is, really, but she’s uncharacteristically covered them up.) Instead of crooning about the plains of her home state Indiana or guesting on some rapper’s latest tirade, Bree put herself in the spotlight – surprise, surprise – with a self-written ode to the alpha males populating the entertainment hotbed of the Golden State. With plenty of inspirational resources at her disposal, the wannabe Agnetha or Anni-Frid throws hilarious insults at the kinds of guys she no doubt runs into with great regularity in LA.

Although she clearly has her sights set on a breakout musical parody hit akin to Lonely Island’s ‘I’m On a Boat’ and ‘I Just Had Sex’, Olson hasn’t completely discarded her sexually explicit past and in fact cast adult performer Alexis Ford as a principal dancer and even hired noted porn helmet Andre Madness (Bree & Alexis, College Tails, Grindhouse XXX) to direct the video, which sees Bree go up against a typical type-A cud, a real Pseudo-Situation, a top-tier Hollywood Douchebag.

And don’t worry, folks. Unlike almost every other screen appearance Olson has made, this one is, to use the parlance of our times, SFW, even if it does see her show off her cleavage and cavort around with various scantily clad men and women. Oh, Bree! It’s so nice to have you back!

Cherie Lily is Dripping Wet

Cherie LilyAndrew W.K. might be best known as the blood-letting rockstar whose “Party Hard!” philosophy has brought him into the ears and eyes of people young and old through his records, raucous live shows, motivational speaking seminars, and a gig hosting Cartoon Network’s mayhemic construction-based game show, Destroy Build Destroy, but he’s also largely responsible for bringing the remarkable talents of his wife and frequent collaborator Cherie Lily into the spotlight.

Known largely as the inventor of Houserobics (a fusion of fitness routines and her self-produced dance music), Lily recently released a video and single that’s sure to be of interest to Mr. Pink’s readers. The song is, after all, entitled “Dripping Wet” and the video features scintillating shots of Lily and her sweaty costars “werking” through their frustrations as Lily calls out for her listeners to make her sweat and keep her “dripping wet.” With plenty of liquids flying around the screen and suitably drenching every finely-crafted physique in sight, Dripping Wet is loaded with double entendres so blatant nobody will believe you’re watching the video for fitness inspiration. And with such incredibly well-toned female forms on display, you might want to close the door before hitting play on this, one of the most exciting music videos to come out New York in years!

Against Her!

Laura Jane GraceA few notable exceptions aside, rock ‘n’ roll is generally considered a man’s game, and heavy rock is especially male dominated. Babes in Toyland might have been one of the most ferocious punk bands of the last twenty-five years but nobody gives a shit anymore and a lot people still believe that women aren’t supposed to rock unless they’re dressed in skintight pleather and belting it out Xtina-style. Now, though, one woman appears to be challenging that notion in a pretty surprising way.

Tom Gabel of Floridian punk band Against Me! recently announced to his fans and the music world at large that he intended to begin life as a woman, taking the name Laura Jane Grace. After initial concerns from fans that this could mean the end of Against Me!, or at least Gabel’s sharp, growling voice, Gabel confirmed that she would remain married to her wife, graphic artist Heather Gabel, and continue fronting Against Me! While Considering I can think of only one other instance of a biologically male member of a notable hard-rock band undergoing “the transition” – Keith Caputo of Life of Agony became Mina Caputo in October of 2011 – this is a pretty monumental event in the history of transgender people in entertainment.

With an outpouring of support from the music and transgender communities – there remain some ignorant, bigoted “ex-fans” throwing around insults and hate speech – it looks like a pretty positive start to Laura’s new life and, although the transition is never easy and isn’t something most cisgender people cannot really comprehend, with notes like this from the likes of WWE champion CM Punk, Laura’s path will hopefully be relatively easy one.

 

Against Me! continues its current tour supporting The Cult and fans can look forward to someday seeing a liberated Laura jane Grace, “six-foot-two, in heels, fucking screaming into someone’s face.”

Get More: Music News

Idols Romp in Playboy Mansion

While you sit at home lazing on the sofa dreaming about nabbing a chance to not just step foot inside the Playboy Mansion, Hugh Hefner’s den of deliciously deviant behavior and some of the wildest parties Hollywood has ever known, American Idol’s nine surviving contestants are set to take up residence in, well, not the Playboy Mansion, but a a mansion nonetheless formerly occupied by the cast of Playboy TV’s recent reality fuckfest, “Swing.” Telling TMZ reporters about their relentless sexual adventures while they stayed at the lush ten bedroom Hollywood residence, swingers and former castmates, Michael and Holli also offered some advice to the new Idol occupants: watch where you sit.

“Swing” thrust real couples eager to experiment with open relationships into accommodations built for hooking up with anybody and everybody in sight. As a result, few places were off-limits when it came to satisfying ones desire. Michael and Holli detailed their activities and said no room or surface was off-limits when the swingers started swinging. In showers and elevators, outside, and on every floor and countertop in the residence, you could watch loving men and women share each other with other previously monogamous couples in fairly explicit detail on the Playboy TV show. Idols be warned: Hollywood ain’t the healthiest of towns and you just never know what’ll be stick to the back our your Blackberry should you set it down on a kitchen counter between tweets. And before you go grabbing that guitar and sitting on the music room floor for an impromptu Kumbaya singalong, you might want to check the carpet for stains; it turns out the room where the Idols will practice their warbling was once a mattress-filled pounding palace dubbed by the “The Boom Boom Room” Swing cast. Tasteful.

Nothing is Lost in Translation

Last Tuesday, January 31st, saw the highly anticipated US network television debut of nine-member South Korean “Kpop” sensation, Girls’ Generation. Hitting the performance stage of CBS’s The Late Show with David Letterman to belt out a remixed, hip-hoppified version of their international smash hit ‘The Boys’, the girls worked their finely honed physiques into a frenzy, grabbing the attention not only of the audience and their host, Mr. Letterman himself, but also of guests Bill Murray and Regis Philbin, who sat, minds-boggled, jaws-agape, and watched the eighteen-legged charisma machine strut its stuff to stage right.

Upon finishing their performance, the nine angels of Girls’ Generation were greeted (and thanked in their native Korean) by Letterman and Philbin while Murray simply looked on in awe. When it came time to send a farewell to the audience, all but Murray enthusiastically participated. Apparently still in a daze, the Groundhog Day star and longtime friend and guest of Letterman offer the studio and home audiences a brief flutter of his hand before turning and devoting his attention to Seohyun, the groups youngest member (maknae).

As this backstage photo proves, Bill Murray was floored by the beauty and poise of the nine Girls’ Generation members. (Though, if you ask me, his bias is totes probs Yuri! ^_^)

Girls' Generation

So… How to relate this to pornography… Hey, did you guys know that Girls’ Generation member Sooyoung has professed to being “a pervert” and to, on occasion, watching pornographic videos? True dat, chums! There’s far more to this group than cute posing (aegyo), product endorsements (Dominos Pizza, Goobne Chicken, J.Estina handbags), and incredibly well coordinated dance routines – there’s a salacious side, too!

FUN FACT: While young South Korean adults can easily and inexpensively rent a room at a “Love Hotel” to consummate their relationships (over and over and over) while still living at home with their folks, the production of pornographic imagery is still illegal in South Korea. What a woyld, folks! What a woyld! Yuk yuk!