Tonight’s Naughty American Girlfriend

tonight's girlfriend

Three years ago, Naughty America branched out and developed a new style of pornography that exploited the HD shoot capabilities of Digital SLRs and other very mobile cameras, a style that favored atmosphere and eroticism over brutally explicit internal ass shots. This new approach was typified by Tonight’s Girlfriend, a non-network site by Naughty America that offered a brilliant fantasy situation: a well-heeled guy, alone in a hotel in a strange city, desiring some very specific company. Escorting porn was back with Tonight’s Girlfriend and, while other non-network NA creations like College Sugarbabes and Perfect Fucking Strangers quickly crumbled, it continued to strike a powerful chord with viewers. All the while Tonight’s Girlfriend remained out of reach of regular Naughty America subscribers, available only to those paying for its specific erotic works. Until now.

Naughty America subscribers would’ve surely noticed a recent trend injecting Tonight’s Girlfriend scenes into the main network update schedule. Classy-looking previews showed sophisticated ladies standing against hotel suite windows in high-end lingerie with a lit-up city skyline behind them – and all Naughty America members lost their shit, took off their pants, and started an impromptu worldwide collective beat-off party! Although Naughty America members can currently access only 13 of the 200-plus Tonight’s Girlfriend scenes released on the standalone site, the integration of this previously off-network site into Naughty America proper is cause for real celebration. Still, some questions remain. Will College Sugarbabes and MILF Sugarbabes be following suit? Is the entire Tonight’s Girlfriend archive coming or just select scenes? And, the most important one of all: Should I join Tonight’s Girlfriend ($17.95 monthly) for the whole archive or take the 13 scenes at Naughty America ($17.76 monthly) and abuse myself senseless with the thousands upon thousands of other scenes the network provides, waiting patiently for the day when all Naughty America creations can be found under the Naughty America banner?

The choice, dear reader, is yours but rest assured, there’s not a bad choice to be made when it comes to Tonight’s Girlfriend.

Re-Gifting for Porn’s Sake

The holiday season traditionally sees an exchange of gifts between friends and family members, tokens of appreciation for putting up with each others’ idiosyncrasies and issues for another year. Unfortunately, the desire to give the perfect (or at least perfectly usable) gift often outweighs the personal element. Case in point: the gift card.

gift cards pay for porn

Handed out en masse every holiday season and easily purchased from supermarkets, gas stations, corner stores, 7-Elevens, and many other vendors, a gift card entitles the bearer to spend a predetermined, stated amount at a corresponding store. But what if you loathe L.L.Bean’s collegiate winter wear, object to Wal-Mart’s dominance of national and now international retail, or simply won’t set foot in a DSW for fear of contaminating your feet with the stench of others’? What do you do with your apparently useless gift cards then? Why, purchase some porn, of course!

With a number of adult sites and networks now accepting payment via store-affiliated gift card, I thought a rundown of such smut vendors would serve to enlighten you, dear readers, as to your spending options. And, hey, think of this way: when your father-in-law asks what you ended up buying from Home Depot, you can let him know that whacking it to Jayden Jaymes’s marvelous heaving breasts was more important than a new ball-peen hammer. Maybe.

Spend your unwanted gift cards at the following adult emporiums and ensure no gift card goes to waste. The gift card in my wallet, a $15 Starbucks card, could buy you the following membership stints at the following sites (with duration and price changing per gift card brand and value):

– 16 days with the amply-titted anal-loving fuck-freaks of Brazzers.
– 26 days with Naughty America’s MILFs and housewives and step-sisters.
– 9 days of ogling DDF Network’s European goddesses, foot fetishists, teen lesbians, and busty beauties.
– 30 days marveling at Videobox’s impossibly wide range of on-demand smut.
– 14 days, a solid fortnight, checking out the legendary Hustler archives.
– 14 days with Spizoo, the 13-site globe-trotting pornstar-fucking extravaganza.

Conditions apply, of course (minimum $10 balance, certain card brands only) but at least there’s finally a way to rid yourself of hard plastic currency usable only at unsexy stores that most certainly don’t stock Interracial Booty Intruders, Mommy Needs Money #2, or an HD version of Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge.

 

America’s Naughtiest Ice Bucket Challenge

jillian jansonDumping a bucket of ice-cold water over your head might seem like an idiotic use of one’s time, but the thousands of celebrities, politicians, athletes, and everyday folks like you and I who’ve done exactly that in the name of raising awareness of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS; aka ‘Lou Gehrig’s Disease’), a progressive neurodegenerative disease affecting the brain’s nerve cells and the spinal cord. Hey, raising awareness of an often fatal disease and promoting donations to ALS Association, a charity focused on ALS care, can only be a good thing, right? Not exactly, some critics say, citing severe global water shortages and the hazy instructions for the challenge – so, if I dump the bucket I don’t have to pay but if I don’t dump the bucket, I do? – though naysayers didn’t stop Naughty America jumping on the bandwagon.

“Social media is stressing me out!” complains Naughty Rich Girl Jillian Janson to her butler, Johnny Sins, before asking him to explain to her the whole Ice Bucket Challenge brouhaha. “There’s something about freezing to death that just doesn’t rub me the right way,” she says, “Can’t you just make this all go away?” Sins offers his services, to which Ms. Janson curiously responds in a most forward manner. “What, do I need to have sex with you to make you do something for me? Ok, well, whip it out!”

jillian janson

Clearly abusing her professional hold on him, Janson does indeed take Sins’s growing dick out his neatly pressed trousers, leading him into a couch-based coupling that ends with Sins depositing a little something inside Ms. Janson, soiling her body and dress in the process. Afterwards, she heads outside for some sun, only to be met by a bucket-wielding Sins who now says he, having just won the lottery, is quitting. He raises the jumbo red bucket high above the suntanning Ms. Janson before overturning it and drenching her (appropriately white-shirted) body with the icy water.

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Sure, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and the dialog is particularly stilted and unrealistic, but at least Naughty America’s contribution to the #1 viral marketing hit of 2014, the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is for a good cause. Isn’t it? Someone donated something, didn’t they?