October’s always an exciting month and not just because Halloween gets more sexually provocative each year. Many porn sites and networks kicks into high gear around this time, putting forth their best work before awards season rolls around. This week at Mr. Pink’s we scoped out major and minor porno players, went from BBW’s pushing body acceptance to complete female submission, and published brand new reviews of Gangbang Creampies, Fat Girl Fantasies, Subspaceland, and the network that just won’t stop fucking ass and boning dames, Brazzers. Come back next week as we endeavor to uncover more pornographic gems as only Mr. Pink’s can.
Tag: Porn
Gentlemen, Grab Your Gift Cards!
It’s almost Halloween, which means it’s almost Thanksgiving, which means the season for spending big on your loved ones is quickly approaching and destined to send you straight to the poor house if you’re not careful. One way to avoid emerging from the holiday season broker than you’d like is to disregard your qualms of social impropriety and straight-up flip any gift card you’re presented with. Now, me personally, I used to throw most gift cards on eBay unless branded with a fast food logo, but with more and more thoughtful, considerate, deeply intimate and personal gift giving going the way of a plastic card with a corporate logo and a dollar amount attached, it’s more and more likely I’ll re-purpose said gift cards as substitute cash with which to purchase a membership to an adult website of premium entertainment value. But which one? How many accept gift cards and aren’t they straight-up scams? Hell no, bro, and please, allow me to elaborate.
Currently accepting payment via branded gift card (with various respective conditions and restrictions attached, obviously) is a plethora of porn sites, each one guaranteed great (or at least very good) by Mr. Pink’s expertly-crafted porn reviews. Ranging from extreme kink to celebrity sex tapes and the big guns of mainstream porn, these sites all offer a way for you to not only buy porn without spending any actual money of your own but to also placate the gifter who asks if you found a use for the $25 Target card they obligingly tossed your way last Christmas. Each site is here listed with one example payment exchange and how much porn access it’ll net you. Please be sure to check details at each site before proceeding with payment.
Video vendor supreme, Videobox, not only offers one of the best porno deals around, but it now accepts gift cards in lieu of well-concealed cash, an altogether safer option. How does 50 days of membership for your $25 Outback Steakhouse gift card sound? Better than a bloomin’ onion, that’s for sure.
At Naughty America, you can buy access at roughly $1-a-day, with a $15 Starbucks card netting you 16 days with MILFs, teens, and Virtual Reality smut. (Although a leader in gift card porn payment processing, Naughty America only allows re-gifting members to stream, not download.)
Denys Defrancesco’s acclaimed Euro-porn empire, DDF Network, will eagerly take your $42 Target gift card and hand over 27 days inside one of Europe’s largest and most impressive adult networks. Consider it a gift to you from Denys himself. Or vice versa.
Chaotic and colorful and loaded with more teenage and mature-aged pussy than your average Cat Fanciers’ Association Show, Reality Kings holds up its roster of 44 websites and, yep, takes gift cards for access. Hell, if you’ve got $200 for Best Buy, you can turn that into more than two years as a Reality King!
Mofos, “the motherfuckers of porn” with eleven sites to their credit, will take your $25 of Applebee’s fun bucks and turn them into 16 days of pornographic wonderment. Mofos recently cut downloads, though, so like Naughty America it’s streaming-only.
Spizoo’s ‘World Class Entertainment’ can be enjoyed for roughly $7.50-a-week, taking your Walmart-branded $25 and giving you 30 days of access to such sites as Drain My Balls, Intimate Lesbians, and The Stripper Experience.
Vivid’s porn parodies, celebrity sex tapes, and blockbuster hardcore features can be enjoyed en masse, your $40 Cheesecake Factory gluttony-pass scoring you two months of access. Twistys, another porno purveyor that bridges tasteful erotica with deeply intimate bonking, will, in turn, trade you 45 days of access for a $50 Target card, which sure beats buying new linens.
Sexually Broken, Infernal Restraints, and Hard Tied might not fit in with the other gift-card-accepting adult sites, but accept gift cards is exactly these masterful kink producers do, giving new members the chance to sample the normally expensive sites for 6 days in exchange for a $15 gift card. It’s not the most value-heavy deal here, no, but you’d be buying the hardest of hardcore BDSM porn with a fucking American Eagle Outfitters gift card. If that doesn’t make the transaction a supremely memorable one, what will?
So, while you endeavor to turn gift cards into sexual gratification this holiday season – and as you keep a close eye on Mr. Pink’s for any further vendor announcements – keep your cock happy, your hands busy, and your conscience clean. Convert your unwanted gift cards into cold hard porno-buyin’ credit or, if none of your favorite sites are yet accepting gift cards, throw them in a buddy’s direction with a noted recommendation attached. Make like Haley Joel Osment and pay the fucking forward!
Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – September 30th, 2015
Fall is here and pushing us indoors to while away the hours conferring with the best of adult entertainment and this week at Mr. Pink’s we’re taking a look at four unique porno vendors and their remarkable smut. The Team Skeet network takes teen pornstars and expands their sexual horizons on 27 exclusive websites. Pornstar Empire does much the same for established stars of mainstream porn, offering high-quality streams and an enormous archive. Little Mutt’s treatment of sexy teens is commendable but risks soon becoming outdated without further upgrades. And, in its first review, brand new face-filling amateur site Blowbang Girls made a very strong impression despite a small collection. (That’s what true originality and authenticity will do for you!) Tune in next week, fap-fans, for another dose of Mr. Pink’s porn advice!
Beating on a Budget! with Stiffia
The porn world today seems largely focused on repackaging content for new audiences, new formats, and new viewing platforms. From 4K video up-conversions to Roku channels and networks loaded with blended licensed content to virtual reality, Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, and cannabis-themed comedy porn, porn today is all about breaking down barriers. The Euro-based network Stiffia has a similar M.O. and has, for over a year now, pulled the world’s best porn from all manner of source studios to compile one impressive motherfucker of a network. Last Mr. Pink’s reviewed Stiffia, the network was heavily loaded with content from 23 websites. Not content with such an excellent effort, the Stiffia crew set about negotiating some new licensing deals that’d further fill their members’ plates with an even broader, bolder, and far reaching collection of porn.
Now offering two membership tiers, Free and Platinum, Stiffia has smartly turned itself into something of a legal tube site, a haven for extended trailers and previews that give you indirect access to stellar porn from studios worldwide. Free members can roam Stiffia as they wish, checking out ten-minute clips of highly-rated Brazzers, Bang Bros, Sweetheart Video, Puba, Party Hardcore, Public Invasion, Backroom Casting Couch, Girls Do Porn, Pure Mature, Fake Taxi, West Coast Productions, and Fuck N’ Drive scenes. Offered in HD resolutions of 720p and 1080p (depending on the source), these previews provide ample beating opportunities and should definitely not be disregarded as advertising material. Premium Stiffia membership includes access to everything already mentioned, everything Free members can access, just in full. Selected full-length episodes can be seen at Stiffia unedited and looking as good as they do at their original home, only for those paying Platinum members who also have access a personalized update feed, men’s mag-style articles, and the ability to “Follow” models and keep tabs on their work.
THE MATH:
So, let’s say you grab a Free Stiffia membership and start checking out the wares. You’ll no doubt be impressed and aroused and want to upgrade to a Platinum membership, a purchase that normally costs $29.95 monthly but can now be had for only $14.95-per-month. And, with 92 Stiffia Channels available (over 20 of them offering full movies), the discounted membership cost brings each Channel to an price of just over 16¢ a-piece. The large Stiffia video archive now indexes an amazing 12,246 scenes, bringing each one, whether a ten-minute preview or a thirty-minute narrative film, to a per-item cost of just 8¢. This brand new version of Stiffia may not have yet ironed out every single kink, but there’s an absolute avalanche of incredible smut now sitting here and vying for your attention.
Stiffia… What a pity there’s only 24 hours in a day.