Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 172

Adam & Eve & Alexis Texas

Alexis Texas — Photo Courtesy of Brazzers

Everyone’s favorite Lone Star State hottie, Alexis Texas, has signed an exclusive contract with Adam & Eve that will see the multi-AVN Award winning big-bootied blonde shoot a number of movies over the course of one calendar year, starting October. Alexis will also be appearing at trade shows and conventions under the Adam & Eve banner, will make in-store appearances, and fulfill other promotional duties for the company. Talking to AVN, Alexis said, “I am proud to be part of the Adam & Eve family. At a time when so many other adult companies are losing their contract girls and going with freelance performers, it means a lot that Adam & Eve has the faith to sign me on as a contract star. I’m anxious to bring my assets to the table for them!”

Having snagged themselves a five-time AVN winner – in 2011 alone she took home three awards: Best Tease Performance, Best Group Sex Scene, and Best All-Girl Three-Way Sex Scene – who, since her debut in 2006, has been blowing the minds of industry folk and fans alike with her incomparably curvaceous, bell-bottomed physique and her eager attitude to fucking on camera, Adam & Eve have increased their power significantly. Adam & Eve business manager, Bob Christian, told AVN that the company is “so excited” to have signed someone of Alexis’ caliber. “Along with contract star Teagan Presley, Alexis Texas brings a huge fan base, unparalleled professionalism and a new level of sexuality to Adam & Eve.”

For us fans, it’s definitely given us something to look forward to. One of porn’s premiere studios has partnered with a gorgeous young woman of whom the legendary Rocco Siffredi said “She is a naturally born pornstar. She knows how to position herself. She is so erotic, incredible.” We know, Rocco. We know.

Ice Cream Jokesters Can’t Take a Joke

Ben & Cherry's — Caballero Home Video

Ice cream company, Ben & Jerry’s, has sued adult film companies Rodax Distributors and Caballero Video, alleging that the release of hardcore pornographic films bearing titles similar to those given to their own internationally famous ice-cream products will likely cause “confusion, mistake or deception” and leave hungry confectionery fans bewildered. Uh, I didn’t get any sweaty testicles in my tub of Schweddy Balls, fellas! What gives?

In an apparent lack of self-awareness and a notable loss of any sense of humor, Ben & Jerry’s found the forthcoming Ben & Cherry’s porn DVDs so offensive that they immediately issued a threatening lawsuit that has unfortunately resulted in the targeted titles, which include Boston Cream Thigh, New York Fat & Chunky, and Peanut Butter D-Cup, from retail shelves around the country. Rodax and Caballero filed a federal consent order in Manhattan Tuesday that specifies that they will now destroy all materials related to the titles.

So, let me get this straight: Ben & Jerry’s can make mad bank with immature double entendre names for ice cream products – names like Schweddy Balls, the Hindu-mocking Karamel Sutra, and Chubby Hubby (briefly also known as Hubby Hubby) – but they can’t take a joke, let alone an obvious parody (a staple of the adult industry) when it “threatens” their registered copyrights? What do they expect, some choc fudge craving holy terror to just blindly wander into an adult establishment, pick up a DVD case, pry open the seal and start chowing down? What’s next, Bill Cosby suing the makers of Not The Cosby Show XXX because it really isn’t the Cosby Show?

Videobox Welcomes You to Club Tranny

A couple of years ago, highly lauded online adult video compendium Videobox surprised its thousands of subscribers by letting them know that the most requested category was transsexual. Yep, chicks with dicks eclipsed double-anal, fisting, oral creampie, and anal-prolapse to take home the most coveted potential Videobox category no-prize of 2009. Three years later, though, and there’s still no dedicated transsexual channel to be found. Or at least there wasn’t until now!

Recently announced on Videobox’s always entertaining and enlightening blog, Club Tranny is the site’s all new, 100% transsexual premium channel and it’s already boasting more than 300 scenes. Although many of the comments on said announcement focused not on trannies but on the copious requests for a Classics channel, VB has clearly made a good move here. Whenever a tranny DVD was added to the main collection (and they still will be) there would be a number of knee-jerk reactions in the comments section calling for the VB crew to get rid of this “sick shit” that “no man on earth would want to jerk to”. While those sentiments might not have been very tastefully put, I can see where they’re coming from. If you’re an avid fan of pussy and pussy-focused porn, you’re not likely to enjoy transsexual hardcore. So why not add a separate section entirely focused on trannies to keep the large (but evidently silent) contingent of tranny admirers happy and cut down, if not completely abandon, adding TS movies to the main VB archive?

We’ll have to wait and see exactly how popular Club Tranny turns out to be, but even at this early stage, isn’t Club Tranny simply more evidence of Videobox’s unparalleled commitment to excellent service and customer satisfaction? I think so!

Porn Parody Roundup!

The porn parody craze that has been sweeping the industry for a couple of years shows no sign of abating anytime soon and there are plenty of parodies of pop culture icons hitting the shelves (both IRL and online) now and in the near future. Hardcore takes on everything from The Hangover to semi-obscure Batman-related all-female superhero trios to alien-zapping government agents are set to take over your small (or egregiously large) computer or TV screen, so I, Mr. Pink, decided to keep you filled in on all the whos and wherefores and WTFs of the latest slate of porn parody hits.

Hairy Twatter: In Search of Bush sees a bespectacled young wizard anxiously sift through the female students of Whore’s Wart’s School for Witches and Wizards in search of his holy grail: a girl with a bushy pussy. Frustrated, Harry grabs his wand and lets loose some dark magic to bring these bald twats to hirsute life. From DreamZone Entertainment, Hairy Twatter stars Jessie Andrews, Nora Sky, Katie St. Ives, Seth Gamble, Michael Vegas and more; written and directed by Jordan Septo, Hairy Twatter: In Search of Bush has just been released and is already casting its spell on many viewers.

The Official Hangover Parody might not be the most inventive name for, well, an official parody of the Vegas-destroying hit comedy, The Hangover, but with a lineup including Brooklyn Lee, Dana Dearmond, Misty Stone, Lexi Belle, Tori Black and Skin Diamond, and with James Deen, Marco Banderas, and Dane Cross as the drunkenly debaucherous trio of bachelor partying buddies, this effort from Spock Buckton and Brian Bangs is sure to be a hoot. (And it also features Ron Jeremy in a reportedly hilarious cameo appearance.) By the time you read this, The Official Hangover Parody should be hitting shelves and online retailers, so get crackin’, bros!

While it might not be as obvious a choice for parody as Batman himself, Birds of Prey XXX sees Brooklyn Lee, Gracie Glam, and Kagney Linn Karter hit the streets of Gotham to solve the crimes the Caped Crusader simply doesn’t have time to attend to. As Oracle, Huntress, and Black Canary respectively, this trio of immensely popular pornstars don some rather racy costumes and burst onto the parody porn scene thanks to Sinister Comixxx as they confront Gotham’s latest she-menaces, Alexis Texas, Chanel Preston, and Lizzy Borden. Out now, Birds of Prey XXX is available in a deluxe 3-DVD metal collector’s tin and online through Extreme Entertainment Network’s Roku hookup.

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are the last guys you’d want to see in a hardcore porn movie – your girlfriend and your mother, however, might take different stances – but their alien-fighting characters from the roaringly successful franchise from Columbia Pictures Entertainment are given the hardcore parody treatment thanks to Wicked Pictures and director Brad Armstrong. Starring Ethan Hunt and Randy Spears are the guys wielding the biggest ray-guns here and they’re aiming them at Misty Stone, India Summer, Isis Taylor, Nicole Aniston and a handful of other babes, Earthlings and otherwise. Oh yeah, and Xander Corvus plays a floating worm with a humanoid head. Go figure.

What, no parody of Red Tails or Frankenweenie?