Kink Leaves, Twin Peaks Returns

San Francisco Armory

Having been home to the notorious studio’s productions since 2006, Kink.com is moving out of the San Francisco Armory, the Moorish fort that founder Peter Acworth acquired over ten years ago. A national landmark that soon became the center of many controversies surrounding the outlandish and outspoken porn studio, the Armory will still hold Kink’s offices but production will move to Southern California, Nevada, and elsewhere in the Bay Area, just not so close to the historically sexually-liberated Castro district.

Arguably the hippest studio of the hipster-porn explosion, it makes perfect sense that Kink would hold off on one of its signature extreme fetish parody porn efforts until the final day inside the Armory, keeping one ultra-hot pop-culture property on reserve until the very end. A natural fit for a studio that helped make the careers of Tommy Pistol, Ella Nova, James Deen, and Sasha Grey, the final episode to be shot inside the Armory sees David Lynch and Mark Frost’s acclaimed TV series Twin Peaks, itself about to be relaunched, as the subject of an utterly intense Hardcore Gangbang.

Director Maitresse Madeline Marlowe, who calls herself a “huge fan” of avant grade and surrealist cinema, cast Amber Ivy as the town’s teenage flirt-queen Audrey Horne, and chose to focus on One Eyed Jack’s, the Canadian border brothel owned by business magnate Ben Horne, Audrey’s father. Dipping a toe into incest themes, coercion, prostitution and servitude, and, of course, hot black coffee and cherry pie.

‘Damn Fine Pie!’ sees Ms. Ivy working at One Eyed Jack’s, the former workplace of her murdered schoolmate Laura Palmer, in an effort to uncover the truth about her family’s involvement in such shady business dealings. With co-stars Tommy Pistol as Dr. Lawrence Jacoby, Owen Grey as stoic biker boy James Hurley, Will Havoc as cokehead quarterback Bobby Briggs, Jon Jon as Leo Johnson, and Mickey Mod as Ben Horne, seen here poking a finger into his daughter’s mouth.

Damn Fine Pie

But, wait, where’s Bob?

Kink.com has officially left the San Francisco Armory but will continue to explore and expand the outer limits of sexual entertainment from its new facilities. Twin Peaks returns to television next week, debuting on Showtime May 21st. ‘Damn Fine Pie!’ is available now from Kink.com.

Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – May 9th, 2017

mrpinksMr. Pink’s this week journeyed to Europe and indulged in brand new reviews of two defiantly European sites and one that just might have traveled across a few borders and landed in the bastion of liberal societies. First up, Anilos and its marvelous collection of HD porn starring beautiful mature women in masturbation, lesbian, and hardcore encounters. Secondly, we looked at German studio of note, MMV Films, and its online hub of wild and very risqué hardcore porn. XArabCam may not focus on Europe, not exactly, but it’s a sure bet many of its hunky Muslim models are now seeking refuge (and cock) on the Continent. Next week we’ll be looking into porn shot in the US with American models but a distinctly Euro-inspired style. Join us then, fap fiends!

Boyz & Girlz On a Mormon Mission

Mormonism was once the fastest growing religion on the United States but has now been overtaken by Islam, further pushing the already ridiculed Christian sect onto even more obscure playing fields. The devoted flock were not happy and launched a campaign to win back followers around the world. Coming up against broadway musicals, the rising popularity of atheism, a barrage of memes, and simple rational thinking, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has persevered and more than tripled its membership, now counting more than 15 million believers worldwide. But how many Mormons are not only into porn, but keep their faith at the center of their most secret sexual fantasies? More, it seems, than you’d think.

Mormon Girlz

Mormon Girlz and Mormon Boyz may have launched five years apart but they both take an intriguing pornographic peek into the hidden rituals and rites of LDS Church members that have sworn secret oaths and now get to work on God’s master plan of rebuilding the lost tribes of Israel via impregnation of young sister-wives ( that’s Mormon Girlz) and continuing the divine directive to pump semen into the assholes and mouths of new male missionaries (that’d be Mormon Boyz, obviously). The Girlz tend to dress in robes and ceremonial garments, kneel before altars, and worship their elders, cocks pointed at the girl’s face or held back almost as a threat. Semen swallowing, group sex, gangbangs, and breeding scenes take up most of the Mormon Girlz archive, although kinky dark-roomed Disciplinary Action scenes add more overt kink. The sapphic exploitation and straight (read: hetero) fucking makes a great mix and works wonderfully with the white costuming, temple-like sets, and quietly but seriously risqué situations.

Focusing on missionaries eager to please their elders, brothers, and would-be subjects of their Lord, Mormon Boyz is an all-male epic that started back in 2010 and now holds hundreds of scenes, each one exclusive and boldly original. Missionary adventures tend to end up providing the young brother a very direct way to impress his elders, taking their daddy-aged cocks with quiet acceptance and humility. Temple-set scenes bring stylistic flourishes found on Mormon Girlz to the Boyz and see plenty of tag-teaming, spit-roasting, and multi-load swallows. Dressed in plain dark suits, white shirts, neckties, and wearing ID badges bearing their names and rank, the Boyz are a welcome sight both before and after their raunchy inductions and rites have passed.

This reviewer hasn’t come across many complaints about Mormon Girlz or Mormon Boyz, and certainly nothing like the LDS Church’s response to Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s Broadway supersmash musical The Book of Mormon. But, hey, when Stephen Fry gets investigated for blasphemy for calling God “capricious, mean-minded, stupid” on Irish television, you never know when the religious zealots will attempt to shut down an undeniably inflammatory porn site. It’s always the true originals that run the steepest risks, taking religious and secular freedoms in hand and demonstrating their necessity by shooting good little Mormon Boyz and Girlz very nearly drowning in the saintly seed of their elders. Bless your hearts, brothers and sisters. I’ll be praying for your continued success and the long, long lives of Mormon Boyz and Mormon Girlz.