My Racy New Life with Life Selector Pt. 1

Life SelectorI love my job, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes it seems like every site that comes under review is essentially the same as the one before it. Does it have HD videos and high-res pics? Does it allow streaming and downloading? Is there anything that’ll cause viewers to pitch a fit of righteous indignation? Then something comes along that changes everything. The kind of site we’ve been dreaming of here at Mr. Pink’s has finally arrived and it bears the name Life Selector.

As you may have already seen in our recently published first review of Life Selector, the site is essentially a Choose Your Own Adventure-style virtual world in which you can play any number of roles, each one taking you on a different path that ultimately (you hope) lands you in the lap and loins of some devastatingly lusty woman, the likes of which you’d never have a shot at in real life. The 124 episodes currently online range in theme from simple stripteases and bedroom romps to lascivious outdoor exhibitionist fantasies that see you meeting, charming, fucking, and pasting a stunning babe in all of 45 minutes. And all this because you’re a virtual business exec who makes all the right decisions on your path to poon heaven.

As I embark on this, my first real, length venture into the world of Life Selector, I decided to choose an episode that echoed the fantasies that’ve been plaguing my mind for decades: A Rock Star is Born. According to the episode’s preamble, if I guide the decisions correctly I could not only go from fledgling amp-destroyer to full-blown rock god and take my band along with me, I could slip my rhythm stick between the thighs of, well… whoever these girls are.

rockstarisborn

After arriving late (’cause that’s what cool people do), I found my bandmates already bored of the possibilities presented by six strings and ample wattage; they were dumping quarters into a slot machine and drinking beer. Arriving shortly after me, though, was this woman, Simony Diamond, who insisted on blowing me in thanks for the totally wicked riffage I just blasted her face with. But now I’m presented with more options: slap her face, pull her hair, or have her “lick the balls” – what to do?

Without treading carefully, this all could go haywire. After all, how many killer bands were destroyed by dicking around? If I cock-slap this groupie and she turns out to be a bandmate’s go-to, I could be looking for a new stage on which to erect my Marshall stack.

Stay tuned as I vainly attempt to rekindle the hard-rockin’ times of my youth with Life Selector. Folks, this could get trashy!

The New Club Sophie Dee

Club Sophie DeeIf there’s one adult performer that truly embodies the hard-working spirit of immigrant America, it’s Sophie Dee. Born in Wales in 1984, Sophie spent her post-secondary school years in various jobs throughout the United Kingdom, but eventually found her calling as a stripper in Birmingham. This was only the beginning of her distinguished career in adult entertainment and now, after nearly eight years as an LA-based pornstar, Sophie is celebrating a revamped version of her official website, <>Club Sophie Dee.

With a revised navigation system allowing for more detailed, refined searching and browsing, high quality video streams, and a fresh new look Sophie and her team hope will breathe new life into her fan-favorite site. And, knowing that, more than ever, porn is being viewed on the go, Sophie & Co. have allowed for mobile browsing and video viewing, a move that’s sure to please tablet and smart phone users.

In a statement from her office, Ms. Dee spoke very fondly of her XBIZ nominated online home. “I’m excited to see how my fans will like the new revamped site. It’s the first big change since the site launched six years ago. I love what we’ve done and I’m sure you’ll love it as well,” she said.

Look for a full review of the new, revamped Club Sophie Dee right here on Mr. Pink’s in the near future. In the meantime, check out our reviews of Sophie’s other site, Sophie Dee & Friends, which, while a little slight on content, garnered high ratings all around.

Viva la Chiva!

When online translation tools failed to give me a satisfactory English rendition of the phrase “chiva culiona” (the title of a Culioneros site) I turned to that last vestige of seemingly reliable knowledge: human contact. After calling a friend fluent in Spanish and conversational in Portuguese, I was still left with no translation. Could it be slang? Could it be a completely made up title that means essentially nothing? Nope, it just referred to public transportation.

Chiva Bus
Chiva Bus image courtesy of -Chupacabras-

The Chiva bus (also called Escalera [ladder] Bus) are brightly decorated artisan vehicles found in rural Colombia and Ecuador that transport residents around the towns and villages of the mountainous Andean region. Painted blue, yellow, and red like the national flags of the two countries that spawned them, these double-decker buses have remained an integral mode of transportation for the area, becoming a cultural icon in more recent years. (Hell, even Lucy Liu, Drew Barrymore, and Cameron Diaz arrived at a New York Charlie’s Angels premiere atop a Chiva bus.) The unique structure of the Chiva bus allows for varying use: a roof rack supports luggage and goods, the usual absence of doors allows for quick boarding and alighting, and the intricate, hand-painted text and graphic designs give each bus a personal, communal touch rivaled in the United States by only one vehicle: the infamous Bang Bus.

Bang Bus

It’s not just the elaborate hand-drawn designs and high occupancy that Chiva buses and the Bang Bus have in common: they’re both mobile porn studios that see the hottest, easiest women in Colombia and Florida, respectively, climb aboard to earn some money fucking random strangers. Chiva Culiona brings dozens of many-wheeled hardcore hookups your way in a distinctly Latin fashion, while the Bang Bus we all know and love keeps its wheels turning as it cruises around with an incredibly lucky guy or adventurous pornstar babe in tow for guaranteed adult entertainment gold.